Random As...
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Just a lot of tumbling thoughts, with no one place to put them.
I wanted to thank a lot of you for the support a couple months back. It means a lot.
RL has been rough, there was surgery, etc etc (Everything is good, it was just fixing something minor)
I haven't been RPing anywhere, and while I still have things I want to do with characters in my head..
It's amazing how much I've caught up on, in shows my friends watch, and doing little hobby type things, when I'm not trying to MU at least several nights a week. But it's still very weird. I've been RPing my entire adult life. I don't know how I feel about it.
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@Macha Good on you! When I took my break (or HAVE I? I could be anywhere, anytime mwuahah) it really made it clear to me how much time I sunk into Mu. I really did the math on some of it, and it went like this.
- Let's say I get on after work (5p) and MU until bedtime (12a). That's 7 hours.
- Ignore that it was probably 1-2 hours of waiting for a scene to start and 1-2 poses per hour, so I was averaging: 10 poses a night, roughly 4 sentences per pose so 4 sentences per hour...and if the scene was big enough it was maybe 1 pose every 1.5-2 hours (or less depending on how quirkyperfectomg the other people in the scene were)
What can 7 hours a day buy you?
- Watching almost the entirety of Amazon's RINGS OF POWER daily
- if every wrestlemania averages 3-4 hours, then in 10 days you can watch every Wrestlemania ever to completion, but you can sit through 2 wrestlemanias in the time it took you to write 10 poses.
- if just one of those hours was dedicated to an exercise regimen, you'd STILL have enough time for that, 1 episode of RoP, and 1 wrestlemania with sexy abs.
- There are 92 NASCAR races a year, each averaging about 3 hours per race. So if you watch 2 races per night in 46 days you will have watched an entire Nascar season. This includes 36 cup series races, 33 Xfinity, and 22 cup. However if you just wanna watch the cup races you could get through an entire season in a little over 3 weeks.
So I hear you. When I took that time off it was like...
...but these days I mostly just fuck around sneaking onto games run by people who don't like me.
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@Ghost I mean, I don't think I have ever watched.. any of those? I mean, I've seen Nascar races when I used to hang out with my dad, etc but that's it.
But I now know why people were so into some series that have now ended, heh.
I have done more streaming stuff, modded for some friends on their streams and worked on a video game project based on a series I love (eeeee! I am sure some people can guess, but I can't say WHICH series).
And, of course, I have played a LOT of phone games. I have no shame in it.
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@Macha Right on, good for you. I also recommend getting into RPG games via VTTs like Roll20, Fantasy Geounds, Foundry, etc. Not all require purchase nor subscription. I've also taken up digital art lately, so...lots to do.
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Man, I saw a post today "Al Pacino, 82.." And was like NO... and no, he's not dead...he and his much younger lady are expecting.
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@Macha, I've found the same.
While there are times I really miss the art form, I nevertheless am finding I spend more time on RL friendships, cleaning my house, building my business, and writing my fiction. And, of course, there's more peace and less stress in my life. I've even rediscovered my love for tabletop games.
I won't say I'd never play or launch a MUSH again, but I'd think long and hard about what that would cost me before I take that step.
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I still play.
RPing is easy to do when you're a desk jockey. I'm more of a desk jockey than ever these days, and folks are much more tolerant of work interruptions too. So, I tend to RP, when I RP, during the work day.
In the evenings? I maybe RP one or two nights a week, and even then I restrict myself to between 2100 and 2359. I watch sports highlights and TV while I'm doing it.
I actually spend far more time on landscaping projects, watching movies with my kids, and karaoking.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@Ganymede Definitely no shade intended on anyone who still does, or who can manage their time better than I can manage my time when I'm involved. There are definitely times I miss it or wonder if I could find the balance.
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I guess for me, I miss writing with someone else that can throw something in to work around, and I don't get that when it's just me.
I wish I had your discipline about cleaning, @Devrex My place is a mess. Of course, surgery certainly didn't help. I am going to be getting back on my ADHD meds too, so here's hoping!
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I've also not been playing anywhere recently, but what I find is that... I just waste my free time on other unproductive things. It's as if I have a quota of productivity and once I meet it, I do not any longer have the energy to be productive. Being relatively introverted, I consider social engagements to be "productive" time spent, too. So I'm going to waste my downtime one way or another. It's not like watching a show is any nobler than playing a game. I'd even say MU* is more productive because at least you're being creative.
The worst thing is Tik Tok. I can lose like... an entire hour without even noticing it went by, and have gained no education nor expressed any creativity.
Because it's summertime though I've been spending a lot more time outdoors and while this may not be strictly "productive", at least it's good for mental and physical health. And I have some projects I'm working on outside that are productive in a sense, so that's nice to think about.
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Sounds like this could be a "RP vs. RL: how to balance" thread. Definitely a valid topic for a lot of us, I think.
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@Macha It's not discipline; it's mostly the creation of systems. And it is spoon-dependent. If you're struggling to clean when you've got all that going on, that's pretty normal and natural. I've struggled to keep a house clean all my life and it's only recently that I've hit on even a partial solution.
@hobos Yeah I get that. I won't say it's all been work and such. I'm still wasting massive amounts of time on video games and YouTube. And I've said the same thing about the virtues. It isn't any more virtuous to watch Netflix than to MUSH. I'm not sure for me it's a "time" thing at all. It may be more of an energy thing. When MUSH is good the creative high is unbeatable and my imagination is soaring and the people are incredible and there's all this synergy.
When it's bad, it's a lot of being yelled at online, mostly (for me, cause I do a lot of STing/Staffing) while trying to help people, many of them perfect strangers, have fun. My tolerance for the downsides has plummeted. My energy for delivering that level of creative labor to strangers is at rock bottom.
And admittedly, right now going back to games is just not much of a temptation. My threshold for what makes me reject a game is much higher. In addition, I've felt out of sync for a while. I feel like when I used to play, there were a lot more people who were out for the kinds of experiences I was out for. Lots of other people wanted to chase cars, leap out of planes, board starships, diffuse bombs, and do other adventure-type things while also enjoying deep character development. Finding like-minded people and cooking up a scene that would be fun for both parties was easy.
I feel like the people who like what I like are in the minority now, and those who are in the majority want the experience of drinking wine, being filthy rich, messing with each other socially, being popular, and being adored. And there's nothing wrong with playing that way, lest anyone think that's what I'm saying. It's just not my cup of tea, and if that's what everyone wants to do there's not really a place for me at that table.
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@hobos Oh Youtube shorts and TikTok have taken large chunks of time from me lately lol Especially later at night. TikTok reminds me of songs I used to love and there have been some middle of the night dance parties.
I have been spending more time out of the house, which I like and don't - Allergies SUCK. But the doggo loves it, when it's not too hot out there for him.
I have also maybe started the process of going back to school to get my degree, and not in what I wanted way back when. I'm not nervous at all /s
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@Macha said in Random As...:
I guess for me, I miss writing with someone else that can throw something in to work around, and I don't get that when it's just me.
This is the reason I'm trying to get back into the hobby a little bit. I absolutely have no time to MU* in a substantial way, but I have very few creative outlets that like... creative writing. The writing I do now is very dry and technical, so the MU* scene is attractive for that purpose. I've been sort of playing Silent Heaven when I can, and I made a character on Liberation (though I haven't had a scene yet), and it's started to scratch that itch, but I feel like I'm leaning too heavily into my nostalgia for the 2000s and 2010s.
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Since I've been away from MU games for over 2 years now, I've had a lot of time to reflect. So, in retrospect, my personal opinion is that I disagree with the concept that MU is at least somewhat productive because there's creativity involved.
Here's why.
I think about all of the many, many, many variations of a theme that have patterned and repeated over and over and over again ad nauseum through my time MUing. From "let's do a bar scene" to "coffee house scene" to "this a completely different character experience than my last IC relationship because this one is Reeeeece Witherspoooon and the last one was that redhead from that one show". Looking back I realize that very, VERY few people play truly unique characters (or at the very least characters indistinguishable from one another) due to lack of change in writing styles. A large number of players stick to their comfort zones, but try to use PBs and setting to make their characters unique...but when you take a really hard, honest look at the history of MU you'll find that players mostly attempt to recreate similar experiences from game to game. We all know a few players who literally have used the same PB and character names across multiple games. So the spirit of really being creative isn't so...universal.
Sometimes I feel like MU is less about actual creative writing than it is about people (myself included) who have a void to fill and "assisted creativity" helps hit that sweet spot that makes it feel less empty.
So...give or take that whole "7 hours a day" thing I ranted on about earlier, apply it to this that I've just typed out, and I think a lot of other "hobbies" are far more truly creative and far less of a time sink.
On YouTube alone you can:
- take art courses
- learn an instrument or new language
- actually try to write an actual novel
...and a good number of those will leave you with something tangible to show for the hard hours you put into it. The VTT rpg community is a LOT less creepy and a lot more welcoming, and there's some really good vibes to be found there that doesn't come with even a fourth of the social anxiety that comes from all of the gatekeepy scene queens that MU comes with.
So...in summary. I AM NOT SAYING PEOPLE R DUM FOR BEING IN THIS HOBBY, I am saying that I feel that MU can become a bit of a black hole that people disappear into, spend years feeling like they're doing something, and then ultimately have nothing but "time spent" to show for their efforts. There are a LOT of super rewarding things out there, and I highly recommend people at least supplement their MUing with some of them so that they have one leg planted in RL and a source of positive energy to draw from that isn't MU. It's much healthier, I've found.
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
Regarding the repeated characters and themes ad nauseum, I can definitely see how you'd have experienced that. I have seen some boring execution of otherwise interesting character concepts, to the degree where it seems like some players have no imagination or actual capacity to roleplay in the mind of a character who is separate from them.
But there were plenty of other people to play with who were creative and dynamic, enough so that I at least felt I was having a creative time. It seems to me like you're just picking boring people to play with or something.
My experiences in MUSH games and RPI MUDs games have also differed greatly because MUSH players seem more prone to having small comfort zones for themselves whereas people don't usually choose to play RPI MUDs because they want to stay in a well-defined comfort zone.
If you do end up ever returning to text-based games again someday, maybe you can try a slightly different genre and it'll be more fun for you. I'd recommend The Free Zone or Harshlands. At least, they're what I would try if I wanted badly enough to be playing anything these days.
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@Ghost I wouldn't say I have nothing to show for it. Quite the contrary.
I have fantastic friends who I went on to meet IRL and who became an important part of the fabric of my life and who I wouldn't give up for anything. People who have had my back, enriched my world, and made life better for me just for being there.
There were times in my life when I was in such a black hole of misery that being able to jump on and talk nerd shit with MUSHers, or be involved in some story where I needed to know what happened next or where I was aware my character's absence would be detrimental to other people's...I mean...sometimes that gave me a reason to hold on and thus I am still here. Not saying that's universal for everyone but. No. I wouldn't say, at all, that it's brought nothing to my life.
And that's why, right alongside seeing the benefits of not doing it, I miss it, and am aware of what it's costing me to not do it.
Ambivalence for the win I guess.
