Retail "Horror" Stories

[Cobalt]

i'm not retyping this, i know it's long but its worth the read:

9:23 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i have spent the majority of the past 16-works hours on self check out
9:23 PM - Princess Jellyfish: this is incredibly frustrating
9:23 PM - The Valentine's Crab: UGH
9:23 PM - The Valentine's Crab: I CAN'T FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS
9:23 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i got told by a man today that i was "out of my tree" because i carded him at self check out and he's old. bu ti have to. especiallty at self checkout
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: but tonight a man came into the story clearly out of his goddamned mind
9:24 PM - The Valentine's Crab: THIS MACHINE DOESN'T WORK BECAUSE I AM TOO STUPID TO WALK AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: super out of it
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: twitching, scratching, jerking around. talking to himself. raising his hands like he was waiting for the lord to pick him up and carry him away
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and he comes through self check out
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and he's mostly fine
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: but stares at the machine after putting out his money
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i'm like
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: "its 2.50"
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and he babbles something
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and i'm like okay
9:24 PM - Princess Jellyfish: change is here
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: dollars here
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and then the receipt starts to come out and he starts yyyaaaannnking on it
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and i'm like: no give it a second
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and he goes: its all good
9:25 PM - The Valentine's Crab: This is even better than oblique sarcasm
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and i'm like: no, if you pull on the receipt it hurts the machine
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and i kid you fucking not he turns to me and says
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i'm empathic to machines
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i'm empathic to all material, even machines
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i sense what it feels
9:25 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i know what it feels
9:26 PM - Princess Jellyfish: i'm empathic to everything
9:26 PM - The Valentine's Crab: holy shit
9:26 PM - The Valentine's Crab: I'm dying
9:26 PM - The Valentine's Crab: You must have been terrified
9:26 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and i'm slowly trying to walk away from him, while smiling / trying not to laugh / trying not to cry
9:26 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and he keeps on about how he's empathic to machines
9:26 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and then ends it with: i'm peter pan's son, i never stop flying
9:27 PM - Princess Jellyfish: and then he walked off, came to a stop infront of my supervisor, looked at her, made a show of crumbling up his receipt and announced, see! i'm empathic to machines

[surreality]

@Cobaltasaurus God, that beats my old video store stories. (It is really hard to beat the level of WTF of stories from working with your Dad at a Mom&Pop video store where 90% of what people rent, predictably, is porn, so that's pretty impressive!) I need to dig those up to share eventually, because... yeeeeeeeeeah, people are special. WOW.

[Cobalt]

Jesus christ she came back again. You don't have to keep fucking shouting when I'm /walking fucking toward you/, you hateful old cunt. Do your own damned shopping. AAARRRGG.

[Auspice]

So. Again, not retail. Support. I do various things in the realm of 'Pokemon.' Today I was running QA (making sure agents are giving proper replies) and... I came across... this gem of a guy. I both want more and want to forever ward him away. His complaints began with an exclusive giveaway only at the tournaments for the card games and that the nearest was 100 miles away, in Canada... and he can't enter Canada legally because of 'a mishap' (oh how I wish he'd shared THAT story).

There are emails and emails and emails of this stuff, but here is a snippet I saved:

'Hi, I just wanted to say that I am very, highly disappointed that pokemon sun and moon forces you to make an offering to some kind of bizarre patron god in this game. I was just watching the E3 summary of Pokemon Sun and Moon (I was really hyped for these games, too, I was going to go pokemon moon all the way and I loved Lunaala.) I do not approve. It goes against my religion, and many Christian's faith, to do such a thing. japan may have a different belief pattern, but these patterns should not be forced on people in the United States. Nintendo of America has failed ever since Majora's Mask for the Nintendo 64, when a ghost makes a comment about his brother selling his soul to the devil. Past this, Nintendo of America has really gone downhill. They used to regulate their games, keep bizarre or demonic or evil or truly violent things out of Nintendo games, and Nintendo used to be a family console as well as a blessing. It's really a shame that such things are being snuck into nintendo games, and with the remix of Majora's Mask, Nintendo had the chance to take these comments out of Majora's Mask! I do not know who's side Nintendo is on anymore, but unless that comment is taken out of the game, or there is an option to not play that festival, I will not be playing Pokemon Sun or Pokemon Moon'

[Deleted]

The guy is complaining about in-game religion... in a game that is basically the digital equivalent of dog or cock-fighting?

Some Christians are crazy.

[Auspice]

@Admiral said in Retail "Horror" Stories:

The guy is complaining about in-game religion... in a game that is basically the digital equivalent of dog or cock-fighting?

Some Christians are crazy.

And apparently he's going to get TIME magazine and Rachel Maddow to feature his complaints so that no one in America will buy the games anymore!

This guy is like, legit crazy, I think. I don't think his religion would even matter at this point.

[surreality]

@Auspice Because you totally know us crazy liberals lurve censoring people to ensure Christian ideology is thoroughly upheld in every facet of media.

I, I'm sorry, I can't even continue there, because I simply cannot convey the level of sarcasm required to handle this. I just can't.

[Thenomain]

It seems unusual that to be Christian in America seems to mean to be Conservative so strongly that if someone wanted to identify as a Liberal Christian, I'm not sure what they would say. Nothing, perhaps.

[surreality]

@Thenomain The uberliberal church in our area tends to say: come on in, we'll chat. We're not interested in converting anybody, but we'll happily explain what we think, and you're welcome to discuss your own beliefs, even if they're different.

No, really. It's a real place and everything. I'd link their web site if I remembered where the heck it was; if I had a car I'd go to some of their all-faiths discussion circles myself, and I'm not a fan of religion on the whole. It's kinda... awesome, actually.

[silentsophia]

@Thenomain "You're not a real christian/are the wrong kind of christian."

And I remember the Jehovah's Witnesses grandma hung out with hated our love of Pokemon because psychic and ghost types are Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.

[Arkandel]

People throughout the ages have used popular religion to justify their desire to be assholes.

"Sure, there's a commandment explicitly forbidding murder, so let's have a Crusade and kill a bunch of people."

I mean the names and exact justifications change but the heart of the matter remains the same; there's a 'we', there's a 'them', and we need to fuck their shit up.

[tangent]

@Arkandel I think that's kind of an oversimplification of what the Crusades were, but your point still stands.

[tangent]

@Thenomain said in Retail "Horror" Stories:

It seems unusual that to be Christian in America seems to mean to be Conservative so strongly that if someone wanted to identify as a Liberal Christian, I'm not sure what they would say. Nothing, perhaps.

We basically stick up for gay people and point out the hypocrisy of conservative economic policy with Biblical principles. I'm sure you can guess how well that goes.

[Thenomain]

@tangent said in Retail "Horror" Stories:

@Thenomain said in Retail "Horror" Stories:

It seems unusual that to be Christian in America seems to mean to be Conservative so strongly that if someone wanted to identify as a Liberal Christian, I'm not sure what they would say. Nothing, perhaps.

We basically stick up for gay people and point out the hypocrisy of conservative economic policy with Biblical principles. I'm sure you can guess how well that goes.

I'm guessing it looks something like:

@silentsophia said in Retail "Horror" Stories:

"You're not a real christian/are the wrong kind of christian."

[tangent]

@Thenomain Best convo I ever had with a Mormon was about Jesus and John the Baptist. I was a Mormon for a few years as a child, and some stuff didn't make much sense to me the more I thought about it. They've outlawed drinking, but the sticky wicket is that Jesus drank (the Lord's Supper...turning water into /wine/...that sort of thing). It always bothered me how they talked about those who drank during church, so I brought it up to a missionary. Their response that they're taught in missionary school is that the water was so bad that everyone had to drink wine because of the impurities.

Of course, that doesn't explain John the Baptist, who did not drink.

No answer for that one.

I think, like most people, some Christians tend to focus on the parts of the Bible that support their worldview.

[Thenomain]

@tangent

I understand the water into wine thing was about using water to make wine last throughout an entire wedding.

You used to not eat cloven beasts because of how sick they could make you.

Maybe this discussion is better for the science vs. supernatural thread.

[Ganymede]

@Auspice said in Retail "Horror" Stories:

This guy is like, legit crazy, I think. I don't think his religion would even matter at this point.

Just go tell Ronda Rousey. She'll beat the fuck out of him, I'm sure.