Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff

Ganymede

@Auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

can offer sex, organizational skills, and cleaning.

These are all very good things to offer, but I get to deal with children and a spouse who simply have no concept of taking care of themselves.

Frankly, I'd probably prefer an annulment followed by finding someone with their own job, care, place of residence, and an occasional penchant for rough sex.

Auspice

@Ganymede said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

@Auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

can offer sex, organizational skills, and cleaning.

These are all very good things to offer, but I get to deal with children and a spouse who simply have no concept of taking care of themselves.

Frankly, I'd probably prefer an annulment followed by finding someone with their own job, care, place of residence, and an occasional penchant for rough sex.

See, I'm at a point of feeling stable and ready to add someone. Just so long as they're okay fitting into my schedule and vice versa. I'm not gonna massively upset my life for someone and I don't want someone to massively upset their life for me.

But I would like help with bills and chores.

Tinuviel

@Ganymede said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Frankly, I'd probably prefer an annulment followed by finding someone with their own job, care, place of residence, and an occasional penchant for rough sex.

how you doin

Ganymede

Don't get me wrong, I love my partner.

She's kind, good-humored, and intelligent. She genuinely loves our children, and goes out of her way for them constantly, to the point where I have to harp on her for being so damn forgiving to the little monsters. Want to know how to make spoiled children? Do what they ask.

But, for fuck's sake, woman, the baseline for any relationship is taking care of yourself.

This is kind of important. You see, she is missing organs -- thyroid, uterus, an ovary, soul (former lawyer) -- and, as such, her body doesn't regulate itself very well. She's on a number of vitamin and mineral supplements to go along with the synthroid, all of which combines to keep her important ion levels (K, Ca, etc.) just so. This also means that she should be checking these levels constantly, and essentially be drinking nothing but fucking Gatorade or Pedialyte all day.

Last night, she had two minor cardiac episodes due to a drastic potassium deficiency.

Like, come on. Bitch, please, you ain't allowed to die until the kids are in college. I wouldn't be half as irritated if I weren't constantly pressing on her to eat better (she still eats like she's in college, which is to say she misses out on meals constantly), or exercising some (not that she's fat or overweight, but she's definitely not healthy), or am actively taking steps to make sure that I'm alive over the next dozen years (because, to be frank, I want to die most of the time because I feel that life is that good).

So, I'm probably the selfish git who is upset because she landed herself in the hospital.

But, I don't think so. The fuck I am. The least that anyone could do for their loving partner is to fucking take care of themselves when they know they have a health issue. Inside, I am beyond pissed at her because I saw it coming and I've been telling her for months to get her levels checked, but I'm not the health professional in the family; I'm just Chinese, which makes me one by proxy and destiny.

Da fuq.

Oh, and school sent both our kids home today because they "didn't seem to be feeling well." Fuck you, bitch, if they aren't burning up, you let them die in a closet for all I care. (Boy was just fine, just a bit cranky; girl has major allergies that makes her hack and wheeze and be a grouch.) I realize it's a Catholic school, and God is good and all that bullshit, but I expect a school nurse to take a more scientific approach to determining whether you need to make me re-arrange my schedule thus pissing off my clients.

Oh, and I'm the unhealthy asshole because I drink and smoke.

Auspice

@Ganymede I will say, in her defense, as someone with thyroid issues: getting a doctor to agree if the levels are out of whack or not is a pain in the fucking ass. Same with other things.

Me, day to day life: my thyroid just is not right. I have all these symptoms going on.
Doctor: nah, it's fine.

Doctor: Your potassium levels are totally fine. Why are you even asking me about this?
I go to the hospital for some reason or another.
Hospital: holy shit your potassium is WAY WAY LOW we are going to pump you with potassium why did you let it get this bad?

eventually you get to the point where you go eh, I'll take a multi-vitamin and an iron pill and call it good.

Ganymede

@Auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I will say, in her defense, as someone with thyroid issues: getting a doctor to agree if the levels are out of whack or not is a pain in the fucking ass.

First, she's a physician's assistant, so she sees a doctor every day.

Second, despite seeing a doctor every day, she hasn't bothered to at least check.

I'd be less irritated if she actually checked and got fed bad information.

Aria

@Auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

@Sunny said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

@Auspice

I am sorry. That just sucks.

Thank you.
on the upside, when I was finally brave enough to go into Sephora and ask, the girl I found has clients with vitiligo so she was able (and comfortable) to show me some things and help me find a concealor that, while not perfect, helps.

So I'm late to the party here, but. My mom has vitiligo that started as patches on her hand and is now a big splotch on her arm and has spread across about half her face. Fortunately, we are "if I were any paler, I'd glow in the dark" kinda white, so it's not terribly noticeable...

But it still upsets her when meeting new people and especially when going for job interviews.

My recommendation if it continues spreading and upsets you? Dermablend. That shit is amazing.

alt text

I think enough people are becoming aware of what it is that you shouldn't let it bother you, but.... you're also talking to a woman who won't walk into a grocery store without makeup on in an attempt to combat the "because I am fat, I must be a slob who doesn't care at all about my appearance" assumption, so. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Auspice

@Aria Yeah, it's like... it's one of those easy to say? And I'm one of those people who tends to think everyone but me is amazing and gorgeous and beautiful and I am a fat lumpy potato types. I tend to wear makeup whenever I am meeting new people because it helps cover up the anxiety (...y'all know what I am talking about...).

Like, I cannot translate 'If I think everyone I meet is beautiful in some way or another, surely most people think that about me'
instead I just think of all the times my mother and grandmother reminded me how fat I was or how I needed to dress better or wear makeup
or all the people who did mock me as a teenager or...

Aria

@Auspice I'm generally of the opinion of "If it makes you feel better and doesn't hurt anyone, go for it and don't feel guilty." Otherwise it just becomes the new thing to beat yourself up about, which I am quite familiar with.

Macha

Day one of Wellbutrin - ended up with my sugars sky high - in the ER for houuuuuuuuurs only for them to drop my sugars too low. sigh

And while I'm at the ER - find out my aunt is in the hospital somewhere, having had a heart attack, congestive heart failure (just like my dad who died earlier this year), and they found a spot on her lung. And she won't tell anyone what hospital she's in, because she doesn't want visitors.

Ever feel like it's the Damocles sword of depression?

silverfox

@Ganymede said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I expect a school nurse to take a more scientific approach to determining whether you need to make me re-arrange my schedule thus pissing off my clients.

You'd think, right? But no. I avoid sending my kids to our "nurse" (who is actually just our secretary who over sees the area with the little plastic bed) like the plague. Most of the times it's work avoidance.

Things that aren't acceptable reasons to send them:

My head hurts. -- "I'm sorry that's happening. Go get some water."
I don't feel good. -- "What doesn't feel good?" (If they can't tell me, then we're going to go with 'you're fine' till they can give me something more.)
I feel sick. -- "What does 'sick' mean right now?" (Same as above, if they can't tell me what exactly is wrong, then we're going to go with fine.)
I'm bleeding. -- "Band-aids are in the black bag. Let me know if you need help."
My stomach hurts. -- "Okay, go to the bathroom and we'll see how you feel after <insert recess/lunch here>."
I think I'm going to throw up. -- "Okay, go do it." (Weirdly, they never take me up on this. And never throw up if they give me warning first. If they're REALLY going to toss cookies, it's gonna happen right there at their desk.)
My throat hurts. -- "I'm sorry that's happening. Go get some water."

Like, you can tell the difference between a kid that needs a hug and a moment of down-time from a kiddo who is HONESTLY SICK. It's possible.

/rant

Tinuviel

@silverfox said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Like, you can tell the difference between a kid that needs a hug and a moment of down-time from a kiddo who is HONESTLY SICK. It's possible.

Unfortunately, it is rare for such a skill to filter through to the school administration...

silverfox

@Tinuviel

Honestly? I think it's simply because they don't know the kids as well as their classroom teacher should.

Solution.

They need to get to know the kids too... this is also possible.

Cupcake

Back in therapy. There's been an increase in dosage of one medication, but no new ones introduced at this point.

The new therapist is very target oriented; she seems pretty confident that I have a handle on my depression and generalized anxiety, so we're focusing on trauma processing and techniques for dealing with anger and frustration in a productive way. I'm feeling quietly encouraged.

Macha

My boss just told me to work through my sugar crash. Yeah.

Macha

So I just got fired for having sugar crashes at work. This will be fun.

Lisse24

@Macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

So I just got fired for having sugar crashes at work. This will be fun.

I am so, so sorry!

Macha

@Lisse24
It's illegal to do this. I'm on the phone now with my endocrinologist office. They may have some ideas

Rinel

@Macha I'm very sorry. I hope wherever you find yourself will be not merely legally supportive of you but actively so.

Auspice

Every so often, things go out of whack and I know it'll just be a few weeks, maybe a couple months of homg depression and then I'll be OK again but until then everything is just hard. And I know it's the major depressive disorder. But I can't help but also look at life and go why. Goddamnit self why. You have a social life now you have your finances mostly in order you have a job you love why can't you get out of bed on a nice day why is your apartment a mess why can't you feed yourself

me af rn:
alt text

I know in a few weeks everything will rebalance itself and I know it's just a spike in everything and spending money on adjusting meds when it's just a brief spike isn't worth it but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu I hate it.