Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff

Aria · Dec 30, 2018, 10:52 PM

Im so sorry! also will trade you for my percocet like theyre pokemon. Maybe norco wont make me nauseated.

Wretched · Dec 31, 2018, 7:36 PM

@aria I only got two left and you live in Narnia last I checked. ALAS. Also burns are terrible, what was on fire?!

Paris · Dec 31, 2018, 12:34 AM

@wretched said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

@aria slow clap

During my holidays, i have dislocated my knee! Storytime.

So i decided that I needed to clean a gecko tank, so, I scrub it down in the bathroom, and clean all the fixtures and get it mostly done, and then i turn to leave the bathroom when i feel it.

It's a hard feeling to describe, when a joint does things it's not supposed to do. There's a grinding feeling and a sort of nasty 'decoupling' sensation that part of my brain recording in exquisite detail while the rest of me was flooded with pain and i screamed something incredibly loud and high pitched.

During that time I must have teleported because i was then on the floor, and feeling my kneecap re-couple and pop back into place.

It really is the worst feeling. I was born with congenital defects in my knees and hypermobility in all joints, and so my kneecaps were popping out since I was a kid. It never gets less painful. I got pretty good at jamming them back in, screaming all the while. Eventually I got surgery on one knee, which helped, but never got the other fixed as I moved to the US.

If you can't get a brace next time, get an ace bandage, despite what the doctor says. You need to keep that joint stabilized until you get a proper brace and they do a pretty good job of it.

Also poor Aria.

Wretched · Dec 31, 2018, 6:04 AM

@paris Yeah the Doctor said to check back in 4 weeks to talk about PT or surgery. The brace i have is pretty awesome so far, super stable even for my overweight ass.

Quinn · Dec 31, 2018, 2:18 AM

@Wretched Ugh, I am so sorry. I've dislocated my kneecap three times now, twice in one knee and once in the other. The first time I did it I was in a ballet class, turned and felt my kneecap was suddenly on the side of my right leg. In shock I reached down, grabbed it, and pulled it back in place with a snap that caused everyone nearby to stop and stare at me. Like a moron I was like "I'm fine! This is fine!" and then when the room started to spin I was like "I should sit down."

The ER doctors were pretty impressed and said that usually this is a football injury that requires at least three people to hold the guy down and pop the kneecap back, so I got some cool cred for doing it myself. In my case, my flexible ligaments were good and bad news: good news, it meant that nothing tore! Bad news: it will FUCKING KEEP HAPPENING!

I have nightmares about that bone-on-bone grinding that happens when it slides out. OH GOD I FUCKING HATE IT!

Major, major sympathy.

Paris · Dec 31, 2018, 6:04 AM

@wretched If it's your first dislocation, you probably won't need surgery, but you may need PT.

@quinn Yeah, when I showed my docs how I pop my kneecaps back in, they were like, 'that's USUALLY impossible' and quite horrified.

Quinn · Dec 31, 2018, 6:51 AM

@Paris I can feel it when they threaten to start sliding now and I immediately stop what I'm doing, put my hand down to stabilize and then sit down for awhile.

I really, really, REALLY hate that feeling. And I should do my PT but uuuuuugh PT.

Ganymede · Dec 31, 2018, 1:54 PM

Fires and dislocated joints are bad.

I just have a wicked case of gastroenteritis.

I've lost weight, but my energy levels are waning. Maybe if I had the extra 20-25 pounds I had last year, I could have that store of energy in my body somewhere.

But, as an upshot, I didn't gain any weight this holiday season.

It's still better than the sprained ankle I had in my sleep last year.

sigh

Welcome to the Carlsberg years.

Auspice · Dec 31, 2018, 4:19 PM

@ganymede said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

It's still better than the sprained ankle I had in my sleep last year.

My wrists like to pop out of joint or the joint locks up. Really, really easily. Like, stupid easily. Zipping a jacket? Woop. Enjoy spending the next twenty minutes getting the joint to unlock!

Happens in my sleep sometimes. And in my sleep it can wrench bad enough that I go see a doctor for the pain, but I've had to start making up stories for how I injured my wrist because I got sick of hearing: 'it's impossible to hurt yourself in your sleep.'

I meeeeeeean. Bodies are weird yo.

Tinuviel · Dec 31, 2018, 4:41 PM

@auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I meeeeeeean. Bodies are weird yo.

Right? We hear stories like "Man cuts of arm after getting it trapped in rockslide" or "woman falls from plane without parachute, survives." But then you get a schmuck like me "Man sneezes too hard and has to lay down and take codeine for his back."

surreality · Dec 31, 2018, 5:31 PM

@tinuviel As 'woman breaks rib removing suitcase from car trunk', I feel you.

Thenomain · Dec 31, 2018, 5:49 PM

Well...well...I have allergies and sometimes have asthma.

...that is literally the worst my body has thrown at me so far. I mean, besides the crippling anxiety. I know my days are numbered, but there you go.

Deleted · Dec 31, 2018, 6:00 PM

I once broke my nose mowing the yard. I also cracked all my toes opening a drawer. If an accident can happen to me it will. I have abysmal luck.

Tinuviel · Dec 31, 2018, 6:04 PM

@admiral said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I once broke my nose mowing the yard.

I'm just imagining a "generic white person failing in advertisement" type situation where you're just casually mowing the lawn and suddenly your nose snaps.

Thenomain · Dec 31, 2018, 6:08 PM

@tinuviel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

@admiral said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I once broke my nose mowing the yard.

I'm just imagining a "generic white person failing in advertisement" type situation where you're just casually mowing the lawn and suddenly your nose snaps.

Don't you hate it when this happens to you?!

Ganymede · Dec 31, 2018, 6:10 PM

@thenomain said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Don't you hate it when this happens to you?!

Aria · Dec 31, 2018, 7:40 PM

@wretched So now that I'm on my phone with autocorrect and some of the pain killers have worn off.....

My friend was having her annual Christmas party. About halfway through, she set a candle out onto the table and lit it. The very crowded table where we were unwrapping all our gifts. I didn't realize there was a tiny lit candle nestled among all the glasses, and I'm pretty sure I was the one who knocked a bit of tissue paper too close. And the thing about tissue paper is that not only does it go up fast, it turns into little floating pieces that are still on fire, so it spread very quickly to other paper and other wrappings and books that were all over the table.

The only drinks left at hand were alcoholic, we didn't have anything nearby to smother it with, and dropping it on the floor to stomp it out was not an option because that was carpet also covered in wrapping. Everyone else was panicking and I have no idea where she keeps her fire extinguisher, so I went with the only option I figured I had if I wanted to keep everything on the floor and the nearby Christmas tree catching and having the whole dining room go up. I grabbed everything that was on fire and ran to the kitchen sink and flipped the tap on.

Unfortunately, I did this with bare hands, so now I have 2nd degree burns over about a quarter of my left hand. The right one is mostly fine, thank God. I'm right-handed, and very quickly discovering what a pain in the ass it is to do things like eat, put on a bra, and button your coat with one functioning hand. Huzzah, fine motor skills.

Wretched · Dec 31, 2018, 8:07 PM

@aria

mietze · Dec 31, 2018, 8:16 PM

I have hyper mobile joints, but that has gotten progressively worse with each pregnancy. Now I will randomly dislocate metatarsal bones in my feet by walking esp while weight bearing. My hands and wrist bones will dislocate too but it for whatever reason is not as painful as my feet, which depending on which metatarsal and what end they dislocate is blinding near fainting pain for a flash (then just normal pain until I can take off my shoes and manipulate things back into place. I partially dislocated a hip joint using improper body mechanics in massage school, and always have my pubis synthesis joint go out of alignment several times during pregnancy.

I can do cool stuff with my body and nice parlor tricks, but as I get older the more painful the accidental/incidental/just walking around dislocations are. The pubis and feet are the worst though. At least for me. I have never had a knee go out, though.

Tinuviel · Dec 31, 2018, 8:48 PM

@mietze said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I have hyper mobile joints, but that has gotten progressively worse with each pregnancy.

That comes from all the bending over backwards you're getting prepared to do.