Soon-to-be daughter-in-law setting her baby shower for 12/28 is really irking me. Her family == loaded and shits bricks of money, me == the absolute opposite of that. She and my son know this, very very well. I know I'm an old, but I feel so put out and feel like this is such a rude scheduling that I'm aghast that she (and by osmosis somehow, my son) really should know better out of nothing more than common sense. The baby isn't even due until 2/14. My other daughter's due date just got bumped up to 1/1 so sit the fuck down and wait your gd turn! /rant
That brings me to my second peeve of this situation, that I have to meet her family at all. They're fucking Trumpsters, and the rest of the family who hasn't forgotten how shitty I am at keeping my mouth shut for propriety's sake (basically everybody except my son) is understandably anxious about how long I'll even last at this thing because there's only so much of their shit I'll be able to listen to and pretend to ignore before I bounce or explode. I will do my best to bounce because I don't want to be That Bitch who ruins someone's first fucking baby shower, but I'm going to be relying pretty heavily on spouse and spawn to do some heavy lifting to help me achieve this goal and I hate doing that to them. There's going to be a bloody wedding this year, too, which will have all of the above problems plus I've been told I have to wear a fucking dress, plus I'll be trapped in a fucking church with those same people, so... blargh.
Maybe they'll elope after the baby's born, like I did in the olden days. Vegas is way closer for them, too. Probably not, though; she's definitely a wedding dress woman, and not a Nine Inch Nails concert shirt and a miniskirt chick like I was.
I think some of this anxiety is actually just the overflow of my other daughter's pregnancy being entirely abnormal and high risk while my hands are completely tied to do fuck all for her except keep being here when she calls to freak or rage about All the Shitty Things(tm). A few months back, they pushed her to a high risk OB/GYN because they thought the baby had Trisomy 21. The next month it was a worry she had CF instead, which I got the fun task of correcting my daughter about when she was relieved thinking it was fibromyalgia.
Now the fucking CF test results got lost or stuffed up someone's ass or something bc two weeks after waiting eight miserable interminable fucking weeks for the negative result she got for the gene profile, they're like 'oopsie, you're positive, we need to test babydaddy now even though that's going to take six weeks and we're moving your due date up to within four weeks'. This time that came with the caveat that they don't think she's actually going to have CF because babydaddy is of enough Native blood but that they DO think she's going to need abdominal surgery with possible colostomy because something something intestines.
She's not told her siblings about any of this, she's not stopped working full time through any of this, plus two (2) stress tests a week because they're worried about pre-term labor (I guess not so much anymore, by my math?), and having to pay for literally all of this out of pocket because she's got an insurance plan with a fucking $5000 deductible - something I intend to at least try to help fix with her since the birth will trigger a re-enrollment opportunity.
I want to be helpful to them, and supportive of them, and for my experiences, good and bad, to help them, somehow, when and where they can. I don't want to be the parents I grew up with who couldn't even be fucked to muster up a kind word or a bit of support for me, and I do my level best but goodness if I don't just want to be a gravel pit instead of a rock sometimes.