@Selerik said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
@Auspice said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
forcing me to go through exorcisms because demons.
Ultra conservative religious parents.
Every 'negative' behavior we (mostly I - my brothers got the good ol' 'boys will be boys' outlook) had as kids was met with a 'must be demons.' I think ultimately it was easier on my father's ego. My father's priorities in life are:
His reputation / how others view him
His job
His faith
My mother
Me and my siblings
We've always, always come last. So whenever we (esp. me, as the oldest) did something that upset the order, that risked (in his eyes) making him look bad... it was a big deal. And I think blaming it on 'demons' was his way of looking at everyone in the church and going 'I'm a good man and a good father so this is Satan targeting me and trying to make things hard for me!' rather than ever having to admit to his own faults.
This is the man who, the last time I really saw them (not counting the whirlwind 2 days of my grandmother's funeral) was when they visited me here in TX and during a few days in San Antonio, he would not walk with my mother, who walks slower than he does. He kept just steamrolling ahead, leaving her behind. And oh man she looked so dejected.
I called him out on it. Like, dude, why won't you walk with your wife?! And he just whined that she walks too slow for him yaddayadda. Here we are at the Alamo and every. other. family/couple. is walking together. Not him. It's just me and my mom while he storms off ahead. And I tried again later after she'd told me that he was always like that. Just a look at her, these are the years you two get to spend together after your kids are grown up. You took this trip together (I was like, the tail end of a road trip). Please actually pay attention to my mother.
He responded like any grown male wou- no, wait, he didn't. He stomped around like a dejected child and 'proved' he could walk faster than us by sitting on a bench and glaring while she and I began the walk back to the hotel (which we purposefully took our time of, enjoying the weather).... then taking out his phone, using GPS to find the best route, and rushing back. We got there right after he did, covered in sweat as he was, with him going: "See! This is why I can't wait for you!"
So, yeah. My dad. Real winner. And was convinced that my mental health issues and struggles as a kid/teenager were the product of DEMONS because otherwise he'd have to admit there was something legitimately wrong with me.
After a suicidal episode at the age of 15, when I finally got my first trip to a therapist (hard to when you're 15 and live in an area with no public transit: sort of rely on your parents at that point)... He had to drive me on my 2nd visit. I got in the car after the appointment and he looks at me and goes: 'So you're fixed now, right? You're not going to try making the family look bad anymore?' Because, again, he framed my attempt to kill myself as an inconvenience on him and a risk to his public image.
And right now I have to work with him to plan this surprise visit to my mother. I just keep that mantra: it's for her it's for her it's for her.