RL Anger

[Jaded]

I love working from home. I enjoy it and it gets me paid without having to leave the house and deal with people or nature or my anxiety.

But damn my boss needs to learn not to call my phone 15 times two hours after my shift because he thinks something needs to be done 'now.' Because at the point it is his 'now' my attitude is 'not my circus not my monkeys.'

And I do not believe I am wrong in that. But I hate feeling like I am.

[Ganymede]

@Jaded said in RL Anger:

But damn my boss needs to learn not to call my phone 15 times two hours after my shift because he thinks something needs to be done 'now.' Because at the point it is his 'now' my attitude is 'not my circus not my monkeys.'

Does your boss have a boss? If so, you should let him know that complying with his off-the-clock demands requires your overtime, so you'd appreciate it if requests are made within office hours.

If he does not? Look around.

[Jaded]

@Ganymede I am hired as a contractor so I do not get overtime. Just a salary.

[Sparks]

Yesterday, my mother's neutrophil levels were found to have dropped to the point that she had to skip her chemotherapy.

Now, missing one session of chemo isn't the end of the world; it happens to plenty of people. I keep telling myself that.

But it really doesn't help reduce the resulting stress.

[Paris]

@Sparks the fact that I missed none of mine was considered to be unusual, if it helps. It's stressful but a common occurrence.

[Sparks]

@Paris said in RL Anger:

@Sparks the fact that I missed none of mine was considered to be unusual, if it helps. It's stressful but a common occurrence.

Yeah, I know. And mom's made it within spitting distance of the end of this cycle of chemo—which is a pretty rough one, since every third week she gets two types of chemo at once, one being the abdomenal wash—without having to miss a session. So rationally, I'm not too worried.

Emotionally, however, that doesn't really help the stress reaction.

[Faceless]

eye twitching intensifies

[Thenomain]

@Faceless said in RL Anger:

eye twitching intensifies

AKA: The OCD Test.

[Paris]

@Sparks waves pompoms inadequately ><

[Auspice]

So going up to 150mg on the Trokendi seemed to finally cut my migraines back to 2, sometimes 3 episodes a week. Which made things pretty manageable. I felt human again. Or moreso than I had since February.

Except the paresthesia was bad. Real bad. It was constant throughout my face, sometimes up into my scalp. My arms, up to my elbows. And at night, in my feet, sometimes so bad it'd keep me awake.

So the neuro told me to take a week cutting back to 100mg.

It hasn't even been a week yet and the migraines are already back so bad that I'm back to barely functional and not eating. So I guess I have to just take that plunge to live with paresthesia in my face, arms, and feet... but less migraines or nausea.

[Sparks]

@Auspice

Sympathies. The dance of "will this migraine medication work, and if it does, will the side effects be tolerable" is ever so fun.

[Auspice]

@Sparks said in RL Anger:

@Auspice

Sympathies. The dance of "will this migraine medication work, and if it does, will the side effects be tolerable" is ever so fun.

Right? Like I definitely don't want severe migraines and nausea so bad I barely eat a meal a day... But I also don't enjoy tingling and numbness in my face and arms.

[Deleted]

I'm on tramadol right now for severe tooth pain. It makes my whole body itch, keeps me awake, and makes it so I can't go to the bathroom.

I prefer that to the pain.

[surreality]

@Admiral said in RL Anger:

makes it so I can't go to the bathroom.

There was a thing on Shang, IC, that did this. Like some sort of... alien ass magic that just made everything not... there, or something. I dunno. I didn't ask. I didn't want to know the mental gymnastics behind it, because I bet there were some.

I do, however, recall many weird late night conversations with random people in which we'd debate whether or not we'd totally get that 'never have to go to the bathroom again' magic if it was really a thing. Nobody could ever come to a conclusion about this, but the observations were fucking amazing, like, 'you know, if it has no ill effects, wouldn't it just save money on toilet paper and ensure you never had to stand in long bathroom lines at airports?' or 'fuck that, when else do I get the chance to read?'

...at least it isn't Shang ass magic. Which nobody ever actually decided on, as to whether or not it'd be awesome or awful if it was real.

[Paris]

@Admiral unfortunately opiates don't do much for migraines, and often make them worse.

Tramadol gave me way worse reactions than Oxy does and barely dented my (spine and neuropathic) pain, that was one of my worst months ever. Remember to taper off that one, too.

[Auspice]

Tramadol was like a sugar pill, for me. I'm constantly baffled by tales from people of side effects or it actually working.

[SparklesTheClown]

I don't see why having self-awareness is considered emo or self-depreciating.

I thought Vaspider playing the victim all the time and pretending like she's being persecuted was considered a negative thing, and that Vaspider being self-aware would be a positive thing so that she can actually be mindful of her own behavior.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that.

[Sparks]

@Paris said in RL Anger:

@Admiral unfortunately opiates don't do much for migraines, and often make them worse.

Barbiturates will sometimes block the pain, but I refer to it as a zoo cage. It's like the difference between standing ten feet away from a hungry lion on the veldt, or standing ten feet away from a hungry lion with thick zoo glass separating the enclosure from you. In both cases there's a lion ten feet away from you, but in one you can still perceive the lion even though it can't eat you.

Unfortunately, they also only last a few hours, and tend to have plenty of other side effects. (And I'm not fond of the idea of becoming dependent on pain suppressors to function as a human being.)

I've yet to find what truly works for me, either way. Topamax worked best so far to reduce the migraines, but made me feel like half of my brain was missing and the remaining half was running at a very high latency.

[Tinuviel]

@HelloProject There's having self-awareness, and there's wallowing in the result of that self-awareness. Playing the victim is bad, certainly, but shouting "I AM SELF AWARE" from the rooftops is just as selfish and stupid and off-putting.

[Catsmeow]

@Auspice

I'm sorry hon. I wish there was something I could do. When I went on my meds for my immune disorder, it helped my migraines. Can you maybe talk with your doctor about thinking outside the diagnosis box? Maybe there is a med that is not a 'migraine' medicine, but stops the pain, etc. I'm sorry.