@Auspice said in RL Anger:
Some people don't realize how the small lies stack up. Maybe they're not meant as lies, but after a while...
You know the ones. Like, "I'll talk to you tonight." and then you never hear from them and they never even have an excuse.
People love to berate each other to "pay attention to what you say" when it comes to words being taken the wrong way and coming across as hurtful... But a refusal to even put enough forethought into your planning, to an extent that I'm left hanging on a regular basis?
That hurts, too.
Oh, man, I do this. I'm horrible about it, but for the most part, it's me falling asleep, usually. Like, if it's been a long day but I told someone "we'll talk tonight" and when i got home I lay down... man, I am gone.
I also just forget? I'm pretty absent minded, which doesn't mean I don't get my feelings hurt when people are absent minded right back at me. But it is not something I can find myself getting angry over long-term.
Once people fade away, I kind of do too. And sometimes I am the worst and disappear for days, weeks at a time from a person and then I come back talking to them like whatever. I don't know why and I can absolutely see why someone would find that anger-inducing...
... I just... I don't know. My brain, man. It's weird.
I am also a person who is preoccupied a lot--not in the mood, angry, tired, depressed (all the time)--and sometimes I just don't want to talk to people. So it doesn't matter if they message me one time or fifty, I will not answer. It's typically not against that particular person--I just don't want to right now.
The realization that this is okay--that I get to be able to do that because it's my life--has also led me to be much more accepting of people not answering my messages. I used to get super annoyed and moody when people ignored me (whether it was actually ignoring me or just not being there for long periods of time when I wanted attention). Now, I just understand. I still get annoyed--god dammit why won't you pay attention to me right this second when I am in need of conversation!--but when the person shows up I'm not going to be like "fucker, where the fuck have you fucking been I wanted attention fuck you now I don't care fuuuuuuck" unless it's @tragedyjones and I'm trolling him.
All this to say, sometimes they are not lies--they are just things we say that we believe and that are changed by the minutes that follow them.
Some of us aren't awesome at being cool with other people--I try very, very hard, and I fail spectacularly a lot. I try not to apologize unless I mean it, but having realized that my attitude divests me of the capacity to feel self-righteous about the same sort of stuff being done to me have made it so that I can mean it more often, more sincerely.
Oh man, I totally went on a feelzRant.
#ShitYouDidn'tNeedToKnow
#EmotionalCurrency
#Gasp!
#CoinIsAPerson!
#WhoFuckingKnew?
#InBeforeYourMom
#That'sWhatSheSaid