I was raised by a rather progressive mother. She may not be very feminist on the surface (she has issues separating radical misandry from the word "feminism", I don't know why) but the core values are there and she instilled them early in me and my brother, which is why even when my brother and I are fighting like rabid raccoons, when we find ourselves in certain situations, we are in complete synchronicity.
Anyway, I have a story relevant to this topic that I think you guys will appreciate. It happened about seven or eight years ago during a party my brother hosted at our place while my mother and her boyfriend were on vacation.
I live in South America, and while I know that the stereotype is "brown skinned", in case some of you don't know, there are people who would qualify, on sight, as essentially "white"--especially in Mexico, Argentina, Brazil, Nicaragua, and others.
In my country, racially charged and racist language is a lot more prevalent and a lot harder to combat (we don't have the history the U.S. does) so we're used to hearing certain things. And while the word "nigger" isn't used at all (aside from perhaps people commenting on its use in the U.S.) there are other colorful phrases that mean essentially the same thing when referring to darker-skinned people.
I'm hanging out with my friend at this party--we're substantially older than the majority of the people there since they're all friends of my 10-years-younger brother, but we're having a good time, drinking, etc. And then someone says the equivalent of "niggers". He wasn't actually calling anyone present that, he was talking about "a certain type of people". (i.e. people with brown-skin, which as you may suspect quite correctly, form the majority of the lower class, like, you know, in most places.) (Yes, you get people of dark skin using the same terminology, and not in the way African-Americans have appropriated "niggah", but rather in actual insult, it's mind-bloggling.)
I told him not to say that. I even said "please". His argument as to why he should be allowed to say it is was tantamount to "I was talking about their way of thought, not their skin color" (another variant: "I was talking about them being 'niggers of the soul' not, you know, their skin color"). Suffice to say this didn't endear me to him any, and I told him I didn't care--just stop. I'm a teacher--I like to educate if at all possible--but I was also relaxing and frankly I didn't have the desire to argue about it with an idiot--but then other people started: some defended him (usually citing cultural norms and a lack of cultural understanding, which is a shit argument) and some took my side.
Eventually, he got sick of getting schooled and when my brother--who was clueless as to this--walked by, the guy called him over and told him I was giving him a hard time. (My brother was holding a dude by the arm like he was going to use him to swing at a baseball, and the dude was holding his own head with one hand, so keep that in mind for the next part of the story). He didn't know I was his brother. He didn't know he was in my home. He explained what happened in the most favorable light (for himself) that he could and my brother grabbed him by the arm with his free hand, asked me to help with the other guy too, and together we escorted them right the fuck out.
Turns out the other guy (remember I told you to keep him in mind?) had pinned the door to the bathroom with a girl inside and was telling her he'd let her out if she let him take a picture of her bent over with her skirt pulled up. My brother had to pee and when he came around and heard the dude insisting, he knocked the guy's head into the doorframe and dragged him off.
We lived across the street from a police station. Racist Douchebag didn't get more than a boot from our house, but the other guy got charges, once we got one of the cops to cross the street and take the girl's statement.
Moral of the story is: surround yourself with people who will back you up when you are defending people, because even when you think you know the people you invite into your home, that's not a given. And raise your kids right--I have a ton of faults, but allowing that sort of shit in my vicinity, much less in my home, isn't one of them.
I hope @mietze's kids (and any that any of you have) never have that happen at a party they go to or that they host--but I hope if it does, they have the support of others so that they are able to excise these sorts of people summarily and without remorse.
