My tummy has felt all woozy and gross since lunch today.
Normally, I would just assume that the turkey wrap I ate was off and chalk it up to that. However, I've also been feeling excruciatingly bleh about work lately, including the fact that none of my applications to internal job postings have gone anywhere for nine months, and a latent fear that despite my annual review having been just fine, my managers don't actually like me -- which I bring up because my stupid anxiety-brain does stuff like that to me, because.... I dunno. It's decided I can go fuck myself, I guess? It also pretty much turns my stomach into a ball of nauseated aching whenever I'm in D.E.N.I.A.L. about a stressor I'm hardcore ignoring and the bout of anxiety attacks that's sure to follow.
So I'm pretty much just mad at myself and my dumb brain for currently being unable to determine whether I'm ill or just crazy.
...Can someone bring me some Pepto and a reality check, please?
So. We've been car hunting for awhile now, cause Mister Demeanor's car has been on its last legs for a few months now. We finally got a car all picked out, got insurance, we're supposed to pick up the car today. 9am sharp, we're at the dealership. Nobody there. I try to call the guy we're working with, goes to voicemail. Oh hey! Apparently he's on vacation and decided not to say anything! LOVELY. We walk around to the back building. HOORAY! A MANAGER! We speak to her. She doesn't recognize my name as purchasing this car. Looks me up... can't find anything on the deal this guy is supposed to have brokered with us. Mister Demeanor and I spent 2 and a half hours sitting around as they struggle to recreate this deal. I have to go to work, Mister Demeanor has to go to work. FUCK. I come back after work, bring ALL the necessary paperwork, spend another THREE HOURS working on this thing. Turns out, we can't get the car we were originally going to get. The one we have already purchased insurance for. SIGH
(Mind, in the end, I got a NEWER car than the original for not much more per month, but still! ALL DAY spent on this bullshit!)
The universe, she is mocking me.
I've gone from overbearing, asshole professor last month to the least organized man in the world.
Who sets due dates, from what I can tell, arbitrarily.
The week, for my school, ends on Sundays. Every other instructor, to this point, has had assignments due... on Sunday (unless it's something we need to provide feedback to each other on, then it's usually Thu/Fri; understandably).
This guy: Friday.
Except our final project: Wednesday, the final week. Yes, we have 5 assignments 8th of December, then our final project on the 13th!
This week, we have a group assignment. Due Friday. As of today, we do not have our group assignments. I emailed him. His reply? 'Thanks for jogging my memory! I'll email everyone about that.'
...thanks.
It also took the past three days to get clarification on one of the assignments for this week because his... explanation of things leaves much to be desired (I have shared with friends to see if they can make sense of it and universally... no).
At least this guy is nice. He's just on the crack.
You know that point where you hit problem overload? Where your problems have increased exponentially to where you can't fix one problem because of this problem, but you can't fix that problem, because of this, which can't be fixed because of the first problem?
Yeah, I've hit it. rip me.
So for multiple weeks, I have been having one hell of a time medically. I have been vocal to varying amounts because omg terrible.
I was sure it was a kidney stone, doctors couldn't find the stone, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth and 'group death' made me understand well why they had that nickname (even tho they're Kaiser now). 'I don't know, wait a few days and see somebody else!' was the answer I was getting, except they kept bouncing me between ER, PCP, and Urgent Care. Presumptive diagnosis ultimately was kidney stone, started treating it finally, referred me to the urologist, blah blah. Still couldn't find the stone. Doc told me that if the pain got worse before I got to see the urologist, go to the ER. This was Wednesday, last week. By Friday I was symptom free (they were treating the kidney stones) and feeling better! Which was good, because I had no more pain pills (we do super super limited pain pills with my doctor and I because blah blah pounds of metal in me blah blah). And then Sunday hit and it flared again a tiny bit. Not too bad. Went to work on Monday and thought I was freaking dying all of a sudden. So I went back to the ER.
So many hours. Initial test, couldn't find the stone, but the ER doc was like 'we're figuring this out' and so she did.
They found the stone!!
...they also found the thing that is causing the majority of my pain (which, while the stone is causing some, it is not actually causing even the majority of it! awesome!)...
Four centimeter cyst on one of my girly organs. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
(and then just after I fell asleep last night I got a call from the doctor from the ER btw you were right, you do actually also have an infection in your colon, go FIRST THING in the morning and get the meds I called to your pharmacy for you, this is really bad please come right back if you get a fever).
sigh
Four centimeter cyst on one of my girly organs. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.
These are shiiiiiiiit. I had one about a decade ago. The obgyn told me then that the average woman has 1-2 cysts in her life that are just omgfuckingpainful. I sympathize, fo sho. Esp. combined with the rest.
In case you were wondering, peeling a raw fucking butternut squash is just as annoying as you might suspect.
Honestly, I haven't had much problem with this. Then again, I use a battle axe.
Sorry to hear about all that. One "good" thing about having a partner that's had cancer eleventy-billion times is that they super-scan her every single time she gets a minutiae of pain. So, they tend to find causes of pain easily. Last time she was in, she had a cyst like that on an ovary that she still has for some stupid reason because it's not like she has a fucking uterus any more.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
I used my awesome cleaver to cut it in two, but trying to peel around the bulby thing was ducking annoying. 
@ganymede The most traumatic thing about the whole thing (aside from the pain itself, because it was INSANE) was 'dunno, go ask the next doctor in a few days' I kept getting. Like 'I don't know' was an acceptable stopping point. I was scared. Thank the stars for the ER doctor last night who didn't think it was acceptable.
I hear you. That's what my partner gets a lot, and it sort of pisses me off.
The difference between doctors and lawyers is that one's customers are in severe pain. I mean, eventually my clients hurt, but that's when they get the invoice. For doctors, it's a doubly-whammy.
We really need a RL Mildly Disgruntled thread. The majority of what I post in this thread isn't really anger so much as eye-twitching annoyance... anyway!
I really wish people wouldn't make me suffer the annoyance of their attempting to add me as their Facebook friend, based purely on the fact that we have the same name. We don't know each other. They have the same first and last name as myself, that's it.
Then to top it all off, he has the same sort of style as many convicts I've encountered over the years. Hell, his profile picture even looks like he's in some khaki scrubs which offenders around here are requisitioned. Which I really hope he's not, because that'd be some serious institutionalization that needs to be addressed.
Anyway, bruh, strap on your Jerusalem Cruisers and keep on stepping.
MSB free since 24/3/2018
We really need a RL Mildly Disgruntled thread. The majority of what I post in this thread isn't really anger so much as eye-twitching annoyance... anyway!
Yeah the thread's title always seemed needlessly aggressive to me. Few things make me angry but lots of them peeve me.
I fucking hate group assignments.
Three of us have been diligently working since we got the group assignments (who is in the group) on Tuesday. Deadline is tonight at 11:59p EST.
Last night, Person #4 shows up. She begins making demands to the script based on her 'morals and ethics.' She also tries to guilt-trip us into holding off actually working on the outline until another guy (her friend) shows up 'sometime Friday.' The other two guys sort of hemmed and hawed over this.
A lot of 'But it's not fair that he'll lose out on the assignment!' 'But he won't get a say in anything!'
I stepped in and took being the bad guy: 'Look, we've been working on this all week. If he couldn't even email us, that's on him. It's not fair to us, who have been working. He could have taken a couple minutes, at any point, to drop off his outline or let us know. This is a project we're supposed to approach as professional work. He's the one who has been unprofessional. He can weigh in and participate next week. Make sure he's aware next week's deadline is Tuesday.'
I don't fuck around.
Person #5 just emailed us.
'My apologies for the delay. I was confused as to how we were supposed to go about doing this assignment'
...yeah, right. I sent out 4 emails this week (2 on Tuesday, 1 Wednesday, 1 Thursday) with updates, links to the Google Drive folder, the assignment itself had instructions, we had a group message on the platform. If you didn't take the time to reach out to anyone to say 'Hey, I'm a little lost...' in any one of those places, you weren't 'confused,' you just didn't bother to check on any of your assignments for the week until today and you're trying to cover your ass. Back of the room.
This is a senior-level class. We're six months out from graduating. These are all people who should know better and I am going to make damn sure the professor knows the two guys who showed up from the get-go deserve credit vs. the three who showed up last minute (well, one still hasn't; his friend is trying to cover his ass for him).
People like them are why I hate group projects so goddamn much.
My new boss is one of those guys who micro-manages everything.. with the express purpose of making it so he has to come into work less than 20 hours while we're all working overtime because he won't staff us up enough.
I don't mind the overtime, but seriously, quit changing my schedule two days before making me start 1 hour earlier or end 1 hour later...
Little miss evangelical classmate has taken on a level of crazy that has pissed me off and is going to lead to me filing a complaint.
After ignoring our rough draft document all weekend for the script (due Tues night) and then today saying she'd 'check in' after bible study, she added a single scene. One not in the outline (and of course, we're not required to stay strictly in the outline, but still: it keeps us all on path).
So a bit of backstory:
o Week 1, we all write our own outline in sci-fi, fantasy, horror, or mystery for a 5-7 page script. Anything we want!
o Week 2, we're put in groups of 6 and we must take our week 1 outlines and craft an outline from them for a 5-7 page script.
o Due to 2 people being delayed and the utter ridiculous nature of the assignment (having had zero structure and such a spread of concepts) we opted for a 'tabletop style' where we each picked one character and figured out reasons for them to all end up in a bar and on the same 'job.'
o So we have a guy from my sci-fi setting (far future), one from a near-future sci-fi, one from a fantasy, and then this chick's "horror" story (female) character. The three guys are hired by a 'Broker' who has intel from the female character. It's jenky, but fine, it works. Gotta fit the assignment, right?
So today, I check in on the rough draft and to add some scenes in, help clean/tighten up in places, offer thoughts, etc. As you do. And there I spot a scene. It's outside the outline, but hey: we expected that. Except this scene has one of the male characters telling this woman's female character: "Shut up, you're just here to look pretty." It's way out of character for the guy. It makes no sense in context. It's just shoved in there. There's no lead up. There's no conclusion for it. It's just a random bit of sexism.
W.
T.
F.
It's written in her color (we're using GDoc and we each have a 'color' to work in, so we know who is commenting/writing what at any given time).
The section is already highlighted and in the GDoc comments, to the right, two of the guys (the group is 4 guys, then me and this other woman) have already WTF'd it too. They had -- carefully -- called it out as being very out of place and that they were not at all comfortable with it, so good for them.
But I am still like: what is wrong with this woman?! (And yes, before anyone tries to question: I did verify via edit history that she wrote it and someone didn't just use her color to fake it being her.) Between her constant passive-aggressive behavior about wanting us to change things based on her religious 'ethics and morals' or her friend in the group (who has still done a grand total of nothing) and now this, I plan to file a complaint.
I can guarantee however that when I clean up and write the final version of the script in Final Draft for upload... that scene ain't gonna be anywhere in it.
Too intense for the peeve thread. Not anger, but... not a peeve.
Very close friend. Has suicidal ideation and has had a brutally hard few weeks. Never goes incommunicado longer than 12 hours or so. Vanished for 2 days at this point.
Very close friend, currently deployed overseas. "We think you might have lung cancer." On a plane to another country for a biopsy. His brother in-law was discovered to have terminal cancer a few days ago. His wife hates me (and all of his female friends) but I still want to hug her really a lot right now.
These two people are the closest friends I have in the world other than my husband. They are far from perfect people, but that doesn't matter for shit right about now.
It is not a good day.
(Please keep these folks in your thoughts if you are inclined toward such things.)
OK. This one legit belongs in Anger.
RL friends of mine. Trans*. Name legally changed, etc. Works for a bank that is, supposedly, LGBTQ-friendly. They've been with the bank since high school and had an account there back then (this is relevant) that they closed in their early-twenties (a few years before getting this job).
They got their first check.
With their deadname.
They can't even cash this check because it is no longer legally their name.
They have not a single goddamn thing on record with their employment under their deadname. Nothing. No, some asshole in payroll managed to find their deadname on this old account they had back in HS with the bank and used that on their paycheck.
Thankfully, HR is on my friend's side and pissed also and not just making excuses, but holy fucking shit.
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
I hear you. That's what my partner gets a lot, and it sort of pisses me off.
The difference between doctors and lawyers is that one's customers are in severe pain. I mean, eventually my clients hurt, but that's when they get the invoice. For doctors, it's a doubly-whammy.
