Posts made by Auspice

all I heard was Dune

@Arkandel
I am actually 100% an assassin.

Anyway we need to RP. And I'll get you setup on that action I invited you to yesterday.

@Alamias said in How to BeipMU: The best MU Client for Windows:

@Auspice I figured. I get the same thing on my work computer, because work blocks...everything.

Maybe that's why I see it: cuz work.

@Alamias said in How to BeipMU: The best MU Client for Windows:

Thank you! That is exactly it.

Next week one of my favorite STs ever is running a scene on my game and I am already fangirling so hard.

@surreality said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

One of the things that is quite heartening now is the level of involvement common with the parents and any therapists, counselors, or psychiatrists working with the kids in question.

teachers, too.
I say this because part of my cert training has involved being educated about ODD (and the other disorders, illnesses, traumas, etc., that can affect a child and their learning).

@Arkandel said in How to BeipMU: The best MU Client for Windows:

@Auspice What's the specific message? I've never seen that one. Did you install through the MS Store?

I'd have to shut down Beip to make it appear. I'll grab it tomorrow (IF I REMEMBER).

@Selerik

My allergies are worse here in TX and have been terrible the past few weeks.
I did just get over an absolutely horrendous sinus infection.

...but I've been on singulair for about six months.

So either the singulair isn't working at all (which is entirely possible and while ADHD is the primary reason for a doc visit next week, allergies are another part), or it's not the reason.

But thank you.

Look, an iPad can use an Apple keyboard or a bluetooth one.

I don't care.

I just want it to be
a) affordable
b) reliant
c) portable

The last one I bought was A and C, but not B.

ETA) Shit all you want on me in the other thread for HAVING an iPad, but it was a gift and hey, free things are awesome.

jesus fucking christ I am making a thread for this because I actually want to see keyboard suggestions

Here you go. Now let's go back to constructive suggestions.

@faraday said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

But for the ones that do, telling them it's all a big pharma conspiracy theory is nonsense.

I get chemical depression.
I also get a kind of special depression that is only combated by going to the ocean every few years.

I can't combat one with the other.

I can't go for a walk in the woods and get the same wonderful amazing feeling I get that I do by standing on a beach and feeling the sand between my toes and the ocean breeze in my hair.

But the feeling of standing in the surf is also completely negated if I'm not on medication that balances out the chemical fuckery in my head. I have to have both.

Just like if they hadn't cut out the cancer cells that were trying to dig into my spine, no amount of weird-ass plant cocktails and detox shit would have ever kept it from wreaking havoc on my body.

Logan.

Though the one I just saw which reminded me of it is female which is new.

Back on track:

What I personally want in a tablet keyboard (and Ark might, too, based on a discussion we had yesterday) is something that is an all-in-one package. I want it to be part of a case/cover. I also don't want one of those non-tactile "squishy" keyboards that make me have no idea if I actually hit a key or not, leading to where I miss 90% of the keystrokes I make.

Maybe this isn't Beip specific, but I've only seen it there:

every time I open it, Windows complains that I need to download some 'ms-gamingoverlay' or whatever.

How the hell do I tell it I never want or need that crap and to stop asking me?

@WildBaboons said in Tablet keyboard:

Not to derail the thread, but you, me and others work in IT. The OS wars are alive and well on a variety of fronts.

eh.

I work in IT. About half of us have windows machines, half have Apple.
My developer friends who I game/chat with have pretty much exclusively switched to Apple for development and prefer it for that environment, but game on Windows.

Okay, this will not be nearly so eloquent or understandable (by mere reasoning of being written by a neuro-atypical) as the spoon theory, but let me try.

I view my brain as a set of computer processes. Most of the time, it is a multi-threaded system that is prioritized. There are a lot of threads, but they all have their own functions and even if there is a lot going on, I can make sure they are doing what they're supposed to and that things are prioritized, sorted, and functioning properly.

There is the constant steady train of thought.
There is the music and/or ear worm that helps keep everything else orderly by setting it to a soundtrack so that nothing gets too loud or out of step.
There is the on-going task list.
There is the daily cron (wake up, hygeine, eat, chores, etc.).

Everything is multi-threaded: 'dinner' is a task that is broken down into other tasks (make meal, clean kitchen as I go, eat...), but it falls under my daily needs.

Something new can get properly added into the stack where it needs to go.

Some things remain 'background noise' unless a sub-system brings them to the forefront, like driving. Driving is driving unless a sub-system says 'Shit! This asshole is about to cut you off, put everything else on hold and deal with it.' The general noises of the world (birds, office conversation, air conditioning) are background noise, but a fire alarm isn't.

For someone with ADHD, you may have more threads than most. And sometimes keeping them sorted is difficult because things like to cross-threads or miss-prioritize themselves. And sometimes those background threads don't stay background. The average person can look at their stack and go 'You belong here' while the ADHD person goes 'haha fuck the stack.'

The problem is when the 'executive function' program faults. And that's what happens to me now. The 'executive function' program is what keeps everything threaded and prioritized. When it goes into fault, everything becomes unthreaded and everything becomes priority 1. Which means nothing is prioritized. Which means the air conditioning? Is just as loud as the fire alarm.

Which means the kid on the side of the road is just as important as the person merging in on top of me.

Which means watching a YouTube video about a sport I don't give a shit about is just as important as taking a shower (which I didn't do last night).

Which means my usual cron to check the gas in my car twice a week fell out completely and I may not have enough gas to make it to the gas station (I rarely get below a third of a tank).

I have coping mechanisms. I have coping mechanisms for my coping mechanisms. Almost everyone I've ever dated and many of my friends have made fun of me, a lot, for my lists and my reminders and my calendar apps, but when the executive function program fails, none of this matters because the instant I see a reminder I go 'cool' and then my sleeve itches and you know what happens to that reminder?

It's off the stack. Only what is currently on the very top of the stack matters because there are no threads. And this, this is why atypicals get so frustrated when other people try to explain to us 'how' we should be because of some book or article they read. Because until you're in this place, you literally cannot understand it.

I was once on a medication that treated OCD. I didn't know I even had OCD (and even laughed at being diagnosed with it) until I was on the medication. I had become so used to living with it that I didn't even know a difference was possible. Doing things like holding conversations while rearranging other people's bookshelves was just so normal to me and, by my reckoning didn't impact my life that I didn't realize the severity of the impact it had until I no longer had the compulsion. Even now, some 18 years later (the medication isn't in the US anymore so sadly, I don't get to have it anymore), I can only think of those couple years in abstract. My OCD, in my mind only affects me marginally that I barely consider it an impact. But I know it DID to the point that those two years were a wonder and an amazement and like a breath of fresh air.

So please, for the love of everything that is holy, do not tell people with ADHD, depression, OCD, etc., that it's just a matter of 'thinking differently.' Because I motherfucking assure you that we already do think differently than you do.

(btw this post only managed to get written because I spent my entire commute thinking about it, nonstop, nearly missed my bus stop, then sat down to begin drafting it immediately upon getting to work... because I knew if I began thinking about ANYTHING ELSE I would forget about it. You're fucking welcome.)

@Warma-Sheen

please stop.

I know you mean well but I can't even manage to eat some days despite everything I do.

No.

@Goldfish It's okay. @deadculture is guilty of his own entry.

Two times a year, roughly, my ADHD goes into a sort of hyperdrive.

I lose all function as a human being.

I sometimes struggle to process entire paragraphs because I lose the thread halfway through. I pause a 5 minute youtube video to go watch a 3 minute youtube video to go watch a twitch stream to mute it to go back to the minute to pause it to read a news article to go watch Netflix to tune it out to open Hulu to realize, five seconds later, that both are running at once on two separate monitors.

I read texts and never reply.

Sounds, flashing notifications, all upset me and irk me.

I forget I'm in a scene two poses in.

I make to-do lists with reminders, but the instant I see the reminder... I forget.

I can go twelve hours without eating because every time I go to the kitchen, I get distracted on the way and do something else.

The only upside to it all is that my need to keep my house and living areas at least somewhat clean and organized go into hibernation because the only thing, literally the only thing I can manage, is to take care of my cats. They are fed. They are watered. Their litter box is clean.

I've had a sandwich today.
I've had water.

I ate some chips and salsa tonight.

I never managed to figure out dinner.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Maybe tomorrow my brain will stop firing on every cylinder all the time nonstop and I can get something of consequence done and feel normal.

@Warma-Sheen said in The Basketball Thread:

I guess I must have missed when LeBron supported China...

What was it that he said? Cause I caught the 'actions have consequences' part, but must have missed the 'I'm with China' part.

Ugh. People are just the worst.

His 'actions have consequences' was because he shit-talked Morey's Tweet, saying 'He wasn't educated about...'

And then he also complained 'Me and my team had a hard week' and 'He should have waited just a week to post that tweet'

Basically all boiling down to: 'this man showing his support for Hong Kong made it harder for us ' which was hella insensitive towards, y'know, protesters who are dying and in hospitals. It was insanely insensitive and someone vocalizing support shouldn't be told 'you should have waited until our team was home to say anything' esp. by a man who, just earlier this year, spoke out about how much he supported Kaepernick's right to protest.

ETA: So it really just came out to look like since he was faced with losing deals with China, the Space Jam 2 deal, etc..... LeBron's big talk of supporting protest, human rights, etc.... all fell apart when it was his money that was threatened vs. someone else's money.