Posts made by Auspice

I feel left out since he never showed up on SGM.

@faraday said in A Lack of Imagination:

@Rinel said in A Lack of Imagination:

but do any of you who don't do the picture thing enjoy the building aspects of games like Minecraft?

Not at all. Or building things like legos. My kids can envision and then build these elaborate structures, but I can't manage anything better than a blocky box.

I've been having this weird experience with watching that Lego Masters which I swear must be how some people are with sports (I mean I enjoy watching sports but I don't get shouty at them). Like the camera interviews they'll be like 'gosh we don't know what to do for this' and I'm like HOLY SHIT YOU FUCK NUGGET IT'S OBVIOUS JUST......
and then they're like welp we failed but we had no idea where to go with this build womp womp.

@Rinel said in A Lack of Imagination:

@Roz said in A Lack of Imagination:

I don't have the voice in my head, though. Like, the idea of that is honestly HUGELY WEIRD for me to consider. WHY DO YOU HAVE AN INTERNAL NARRATOR?! My thought process all feels a lot more abstract. Like, feelings and impressions and such.

I don't have an internal narrator. I am the internal narrator.

This.
The idea of it not being there is what's weird to me!

This guy actually teaches you memorization techniques and how to build a mind palace: https://www.youtube.com/user/punknellis14

It's your game, your decision.
Someone threatening to post on MSB if you don't allow them on your game is a reason to not allow them on your game IMO.

@L-B-Heuschkel said in A Lack of Imagination:

@Auspice Story of my life as well, that. I tag people with some tagline on Ares pages so I can keep them apart. In real life? Same, but on the cell phone. It's not that I don't care. I just literally can't tell people's names and faces apart, and I get them mixed up most embarrassingly.

Oh yeah, it'd be almost embarrassing to show someone my phone and have them open the contacts. People are tagged with weird nicknames sometimes if they have the same first names because just using their last name wouldn't help in some cases.

@Rinel said in A Lack of Imagination:

@Auspice

I do have to be thinking about it. I misplace stuff pretty frequently. But if I'm devoting thought to it, even if it's just "I'm putting this here for tomorrow morning," then it's super unlikely I'll forget it.

I'll remember for roughly a month. Longer and it's gone.

But faces/people... Those are a big fat nope.
I could talk to you and the instant you walk away, I forget what you looked like. One of my top 3 anxieties is meeting someone for the first time and not knowing if the photo they sent me is older or current or and staring at this tiny picture on my phone and a crowd of people, squinting at every face that goes by.

This may be why I'm such a big fan of fantasy hair colors. If you tell me you have pink hair, I will 100% know who I am looking for.

@Rinel said in A Lack of Imagination:

I'm only a few stops down the line from eidetic memory. I can usually recall exactly where in a paragraph or on a page something I read was

See, I can do this, but only sometimes. Mostly with text. And it's enforced by things I write down. If I write something down, I remember it, which is why I still handwrite so many things.

But I'm that person who, when I was married and my stepson would be in the house, we'd be getting ready to leave and my ex and the kid would be going around trying to find stuff and I'd just be there: 'Your shoes are there. You left your wallet there. Your...'

It's got a timeframe tho. After a few weeks/months it drops out so that thing I put in the very important very safe place? Fuck if I know what it was other than very important and very safe place.

My ability to imagine places based on their description depends on two things:
the length of the description and the person who wrote it. If it is a very long, meandering, prose-y description, I am gonna get lost in the words and have nfc what is being described. If the writer bounces back and forth and to and fro and starts describing one thing and then goes to describing something else and then comes back to that thing? I'm probably gonna have no clue what they're describing in the end. But if it's 5-8 sentences that hit the points in a neat, organized manner without going all grandiose about the language? I can probably get a pretty clear picture of what's being described.

I've always considered it a good thing I've never had to describe someone to a sketch artist.

They'd come out looking like One Punch Man.

But I can imagine places I've been easily. Or even just heard described. People just become blank blobs.

Tho from the Twitter discussions around this, I learned some people don't think in sentences/words/a voice at all and only images. Like of they're considering having toast they just...think of toast.

And that is fucking weird to me. Like I have a constant inner dialogue going and then other multi-threaded thoughts on top of that about shit I need to do, how to do it, processes, etc. And songs or imagery or whatnot might interrupt or layer over it but I couldn't imagine it not being there at all.

@Tashly said in A Lack of Imagination:

(And Gunnerkrigg is rad, yes. I can't wait to be inevitably disappointed when someone decides to try start a Mu* based on it <_<)

it would fail after the chosen ambassadors from the court to the forest are staff alts/bffs and everyone rage quits.

I can imagine scenes, people, etc. fairly well, but I can't remember what someone looks like after they've left the room.
Heck, if a famous actor looks different enough in a film, I can't recognize them. I've realized I have face blindness to an extent.

It does make PBs kind of fun because I don't feel that same draw or even issue with the famous faces some people do. Like I don't feel an allure/attraction to them, but at the same time: I'm not repelled by the use of them! (The ones I am repelled by it's because I have a really really bad experience with someone who played one, sort of like how you can have a bad memory tied to a certain song or place or smell or something.)

ETA:
Though certain scenes/images get 'locked' in my head. Like I can read a pose or a passage in a book and the imagery of it (for example, say, two people dancing) will get stuck in my head like a chorus from a song will get stuck and I can't replace it with anything else for a while. I've actually got a few poses like that stuck in my head rn from a scene and I keep having to go back to re-read them.

@Atomic said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

My brother broached the idea to me that I should get .. I dunno, tested? Examined? However folks put a pin in figuring out how one isn't textbook neurotypical? He thinks I'm in the AD* zone, somewhere. A lot of reading later I'm inclined to take his advice. I guess the question is, outside of the possibility of a diagnosis, does it actually help getting it identified?

I think so. There are medications and different medications work differently. I know if I was medicated it'd help me immensely. I've lost a job over not being medicated.

Unfortunately, getting tested/treated can be expensive, so. I think it depends on how much it may be impacting your life.

@silverfox said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Throw even one "new" person into the mix and I withdraw instantly.

So long as it's like, a 70/30 mix, I'm fine with new people! If I have enough advance warning/prep (we're talking days/weeks), I can handle new people. But I usually shut down for days after (don't leave house, don't talk, barely even interact online, etc.).

But yeah, don't tell me 'stop lying you aren't shy' when literally your only interactions with me have been in groups where 90% of the people present have been people we know. And the one time it wasn't, I sat silently the whole time and you were the opposite side of the room and didn't interact with me at all so you wouldn't even know.

@gryphter said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

I think I'd be hard-pressed to control myself from exploding if somebody saw how I act online or with my friends and tried to tell me I'm not shy. Motherfucker, eat a whole bag of raw dicks.

Right?

When I'm in a social situation where I don't know anyone*, I can't even find my voice. Hell, when I don't know the majority of people, I often can't. Like if I bump into someone in public on accident I probably come off as rude af because my 'Sorry' comes out silent.

Part of why this made me so mad is no one spoke up. Just a week before this, I had an anxiety attack right before a meetup and people in the group were aware. Like they saw me start to walk up, then walk away to take a few minutes to compose myself and they knew why. Like any one of them could've said something, but no.

*the MBD concert I went to is an exception. That band has such a great meaning to me that going to see them is like going to church. But, alternatively, the two book signings I've gone to in the past year, I sat alone, and I barely even said a word to the authors themselves... even though I really really wanted to.

I was talking to someone about shyness. How it can manifest different in different people.
And I was reminded of a really frustrating experience I had recently...

In that dreaded RL group's Discord, one girl was venting about how she wishes she could do more on her own but she tends to just go places, stand or sit around alone, then leave after a while. That no one ever approaches her and she can't approach anyone. I commiserated with her because I'm the same way when I don't know anyone and that it's hard being really shy and having a lot of anxiety.

Someone broke in and began going off at me about how I'm not shy. I'm always engaged at the group's events and chatting with people and and... I pointed out that I know everyone. That we all have gotten to know each other on Discord, which helps immensely. And she just kept insisting that I'm not shy and to stop lying.

It's just yet another reason why I've felt closed out of that group. I talk to one or two people in PMs and one of them told me last night that she's only still in it because she likes most of the people outside the central clique that's formed and the hobby itself. I realized it's pretty much the same for me.

But the core of this is: goddamnit, personalities and mental health issues manifest in different ways. Don't denigrate mine because it doesn't manifest in the way you approve of, you anal wart.

@TwoGunBob @gryphter

Yeah, the recruiter was very polite and understanding. She said the market in Austin is opening up big rn for my career and suggested I keep an eye on their (the firm's) openings and to let her know if I spot anything that looks good. She also said they send out a weekly 'highlight' of a few people in their directory to companies and offered to put me in next week's.

So I think she understands, 100%, that what this company is asking is not reasonable at all.

I turned down continuing the interview process from the phone interview today.

For one, it doesn't sound like it'd be a good fit in general. What they need isn't something I have professional experience in.
For another, it's a month-long interview process culminating in a 2-hour on-site interview during which the bulk of the interview is a presentation...... for a 3-month contract.

I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna spend a month working my ass off on interviews, assessments, and presentations for a 3-month contract (I also need to be putting effort into getting hired before then). The recruiter understood and I have a feeling, based on her understanding, that she's been hearing very similar from a lot of people.

Phone interview tomorrow. Maybe something'll come of it.

If you're a fan of social deduction games (mafia, werewolf, Town of Salem...), Among Us is a lot of fun: https://store.steampowered.com/app/945360/Among_Us/

It's about $5 on Steam (it was on sale for $3 recently, which is when a friend bought it for me so we could play). Tons of fun. It's probably my favorite thing right now.