Posts made by Auspice

@hedgehog
Murder by Death - I'm Afraid of Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf

@Macha said in The Crafting Thread:

@Auspice ...I want.

I want to say they're easy to make buuuuuuuuut-

I have realized that crochet falls into that category of 'is easy for me.' It's that thing that just comes naturally to me at this point.
(Now if only I could get one of the yarns I have to behave. I have this AMAZING FANCY OMG THE SOFTEST yarn that was gifted to me, but that shit wants to break.no.matter.what.)

For this DIY White Elephant thing, I have decided to make these dragonscale gloves. I've made them for myself in the past (I have two pairs, in fact) and have some slight modifications to the pattern that I think improve them vastly (as-is, the wrist is actually much shorter than it appears on the model-hands and the scalloped edge comes out kinda weird- sorry designer but most of us don't have dainty model wrists :P).

Since I'm not gonna shell out for $20+~ fancy yarn (esp. since it usually requires hand-washing and I can't guarantee everyone at this party will be yarn-savvy!) I'm gonna go with slightly cheaper-but-still-pretty yarn and still go the quick-and-easy scarf in a complimentary color.

I figure fingerless dragonscale gloves and a matching scarf will be appropriate and I know I can do the gloves in a weekend and the scarf in an evening.

...I can do those faster than one of my recent Arx crafting projects. I'M NOT CHARGING ENOUGH ON ONE END OR THE OTHER.

There is always, always some level of OOC involved.

This whole 'oh it's just IC, oh we can't let our OOC feelings get-'

You know what it smacks of?

'teehee that wasn't me being shitty that was my character'
'ha ha I didn't do that terrible, horrible thing you didn't like and specifically asked me not to, my character did.'

OOC always factors in to an extent. Always.
And if you are observing behavior in a scene and something about it is just wrong on some extent, then I think it is absolutely OK to acknowledge that and no one should be shamed for speaking up and saying so.

Because if that weren't the case then hey, why not start allowing games to do rape plots again? After all it's just IC, right?

Joke aside.
Had meeting today to review documentation thus far.
Came up that my contract is up on Jan 10th and thus it all has to be 'done' by then.

I joked 'unless my contract gets extended' (boss wasn't in meeting, mind) and one of the other guys on the team goes 'No, it needs to be done by then.'

Which, I mean. I get it.
But still.
Deflating.

Going to go home tonight and drink myself into a stupor.

brb going to play Ghost's He Is at Mass

https://catdogwelfare.wixsite.com/catfaces/cat-faces-interactive-quiz

Can you recognize kitty expressions?

I got 8/8 on the first quiz, 5/8 on the second.

@Tinuviel said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

@Derp said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

@Tinuviel said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

ending sentences with a preposition.

...has been acceptable for generations and the prohibition against such was prescriptivist bullshit from people that wanted to make English sound more like Latin, so nyah.

Just because something is acceptable doesn't mean it's right.
I also don't care about prepositions, I just couldn't think of any other grammatical things that matter this early in the morning.

Motherfuckers who don't use apostrophes in their poses.

I see you asshole with your
'He isnt paying attention so he doesnt notice when they....'

@Tinuviel said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

@peasoupling said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

Like, seriously, some people's writing throws red flags all over the place.

Surprising nobody, I am often made uncomfortable by the writing of others.
Unfortunately staff frown on my constant reports regarding the Oxford comma and ending sentences with a preposition.

@Ghost
But by and far, MUs seem to consider 3rd parties as non-entities.

I've gone to Staff in the past to say 'Hey, here's a log/evidence in which my friend tells me that Dude is threatening her and is making her miserable and I have evidence of Dude engaging in bad behavior in other veins.'

And Staff's reply was: well, unless your friend reports it herself, we can't do anything. Sorry.

I know that's not an isolated incident. People have experienced that sort of thing all the time. MUs, by and far, feel that ONLY the victim can report. Witnesses cannot. Uncomfortable third parties cannot. Only the person receiving the harm.

And I guess that's the concern here: even if I page the person being targeted and they say 'yeah, I'm uncomfortable here, can you help me out?' .... I could step in, pose going over to them, buddying up, etc...........but that'd be the extent of it in most cases, sadly.

@Tinuviel said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

Chances are you're going to check in with the woman in this example.

That's still speaking up.

@Tinuviel said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

Second, why is your focus on women?

Because in this scenario, it was a woman.

I think I failed to get my point across well, so let me put it this way:

You see two guys flirting with women in a club.
One is being polite and respectful.
The other is leering and simply exuding gross.

Women are sort of conditioned to put up with both. Many are even going to welcome the former (if they're single/receptive). But they'll put up with the latter out of a fear of what might happen if they say no. What if he turns violent? What if he retaliates in some other way?

So chances are, if you witness this, you're going to want to say something.

Now I know we think: this is just a game.

The issue is... how many people quit games because of the discomfort? How many of us witness this and then worry...what if I'm next? What if another woman is next?

That is why I began this discussion.

Not to see a flood of people go: ugh, mind your own business.

Because I'm not talking about the guy being cool and respectful.
I'm talking about the one whose behavior, the whole of it, exudes slime. Where just reading it and witnessing it makes you feel like something is wrong.

And you can't always just straight bug out. Maybe it's an ST'd scene (and I don't want some Staffer coming over here on MSB later going 'fuck that Auspice for just leaving in the middle of something I was kindly STing, jesus' and then if I TELL that Staffer going 'fuck that Auspice for leaving just because some other player was posing in a way that made her uncomfortable; bitch could've stuck it out for a couple hours'). Maybe it's a scene YOU'RE running. The option isn't always there.

@Alamias said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

I'll be the first to admit that I played an IC Creep. He was built to be a sleazy 'Girls Gone Wild' porn producer type that would band anyone that let him, but that is not my RL personality at all. Maybe because I played him so over the top I never (to my knowledge) ever received any complaints OOCly about him, and people tended to deal with him ICly.

If this is IC creep on a character, then it should be dealt with IC, but maybe I am missing the point?

One can usually tell the difference. I've played male PCs who are 'playas' as it were. And tbh, it usually comes across in: being over-the-top flirty and 'Ladies, ladies, there's enough of me to go around' style attitude versus...

'You're the only one for me'
'Name blushes profusely as she looks his way'

The white knight, the overly romantic 'husband' material ........ who is somehow in a deeply committed relationship with multiple women at the same time.

Those are the creeps we usually see pop up.

Lonely Island's The Creep style of guys can actually be an amusing concept to see and observing it from an OOC scale, you can usually identify 'OK, this person is actively aware of what they're playing. Coo'.'

But the guy who seems to be collecting a harem of women meant to be latched onto him and him alone while he's juggling six of them? That's fucked up.

"I read a lot of urban legends on it. Nic Cage does it."
"...Nic Cage is Santa?"
"That's why he did Face/Off. To show how he can change his face."

@Derp said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

@Auspice

That also isn't the scenario that you originally presented. Your scenario was 'I see behavior that I think might be creepy but I am afraid / don't know how to approach the other person about it'. Not 'person has come to me and said that something is making them uncomfortable'.

Those are two distinctly different scenarios. In the event that you come to me and say 'hey, person X says that they are uncomfortable with situation Y', I will thank you for bringing it to my attention and go speak to person X.

You're the one that brought 'as a staffer' into the discussion.
I began the discussion with 'as a player.' I was never discussing this from the staffing perspective. You came in, fists swinging, accusing people of behaving like children who need you to hold their hand and being, frankly, an asshole about it.

I witnessed something that made me incredibly uncomfortable and wondered hey, how have other people handled this as a player.

In theory I would be within right to report to staff based merely on that merit.

In practice, almost every Staffer I've ever encountered would laugh me out of the +job.

So I was asking people, from the perspective of a player.

You may have begun your post with 'as a player and a staffer,' but every part of it was from the lofty, condescending attitude of 'as a staffer, I expect people to....'

It did not approach the thread in the manner it was intended.

@Derp said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

@Auspice said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

Because your response is basically: 'I don't give a shit as a player or a staffer.'

That was not my response. I specifically said that I would act on it if a complaint is lodged, and do so swiftly. That is not at all 'not giving a shit'.

'Well sure you have logs and evidence of this behavior and the threats against the victim, but the VICTIM hasn't said anything so......... welp. this person can keep doing what they're doing.'

So, let me just say this bluntly -- you, as a third party, don't get to decide that someone is a victim of anything. Period. That is a decision between the affected person and the adjudicator of fact. You can believe that someone is a victim, and encourage them to speak up, but you don't get to slap that label on them.

I'm pretty sure scenarios in which someone has told me they're upset, they feel threatened, they feel uncomfortable, but they're too scared to speak up because of aforementioned threats equal someone being a victim.

But in those situations, when I've gone to Staff on their behalf, I've been told 'Sorry, unless that person says something, our hands are tied.'

And it sounds like you'd do the exact same thing. And that's depressing.

@Derp said in How to Approach (nor not) a Suspected Creep:

@Auspice

Ok, so first -- you asked what we would do, if anything, and I told you what I would do and how I think as both a player and a staffer , so you wanna pull back the aggression a bit? I wasn't accusing you of doing anything, or telling you how to behave. I was telling you how I view it.

Second, if you come to me as a third party in the matter, my very first question is going to be did the other person say something to you? Because I truly don't believe it's not your place to police them, either. So you're right. I won't do anything because you're essentially asking me to police the fun of two other people, neither of which have said anything at all to me, even though I make it very clear that they can.

Different players have different standards that might differ from yours, or mine. That's fine. That's to be expected when dealing with homo sapiens. They're a strange creature.

Because your response is basically: 'I don't give a shit as a player or a staffer.'

This is how we have witnessed a few creepers in the hobby run rampant. Because of 'Well sure you have logs and evidence of this behavior and the threats against the victim, but the VICTIM hasn't said anything so......... welp. this person can keep doing what they're doing.'

@Derp

Ok, look.
I get along with you on a lot of things, but dude.
This wasn't about 'whine whine why doesn't a staffer step in'
This was: what do people think a player's role is as the third party

So you need to shut up in this regard.
Jesus fucking christ.

Because this is the exact sort of behavior that makes people afraid to speak up.

Because mother.
fucker.

I have, as the third party, spoken up to Staff before.

And you know what I've been told?
Repeatedly?

'Since you weren't the targeted party, I can't/won't do anything.'

So fuck off.

ETA:
Seriously, this is just vexing me. ANY TIME I've gone to Staff with 'I witnessed this sort of creeping, it made me uncomfortable' the response I've gotten is essentially 'So? It wasn't being done to you, why do you care? If the person they were targeting reports it, we'll do something.'

The topic of this conversation isn't 'oh no I'm being creeped on, what do I do.' Obviously you report it. The topic is: I'm WITNESSING someone being creepy, what do I do.

Because Staffers pull this shit. 'Well I can't do anything unless-'
Right.
You WON'T do anything.

@Quinn In this case, there is theory they are a known creeper, but that has also backfired in the past. (As in: people have assumed X person is known creeper and X person has not been at all.)

And I have to consider that, too: is the fact that this person has had other shady behavior and the theory that they're a creeper coloring my perception?

I do know I shared the poses that squicked me with a friend and they had an equally shudder-y sort of response. So I don't think so.

Next time I may just page the gal(s) being targeted in-scene and quietly ask. If they get mad, they get mad. I think I'd rather a reputation as someone cautious than not.

@Ganymede said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

When and how you drop in your eggs or chocolate chips means a lot, I have found, to the simple baking of cookies.

And yet, there are infographics that can tell you, based merely on how your cookies look how to fix them... based on science, not art. That you put too much (or too little) of an ingredient. That you baked at too high or too low a temperature. Nothing of art to it.

Humidity, altitude... these little things can have an effect on the outcome.

@Ganymede said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Soufflés and all sorts of dishes

A soufflé, arguably, falls under the purview of baking. It is even defined, as a baked egg dish.