Not sure whether to put it here, or in RL sads.
My dog is getting older. His breed is expected to live 12-14 years, and in April he'll be 11. He's starting to show signs of it, too.
Once upon a time, I'd open the door and he'd run out with me, all full of energy. He still goes with me, but he's slower, and you can tell that his joints are starting to bother him. He's not as mobile as he used to be. Jumping is almost ou tof the question at this point, but he climbs ok. Except when he doesn't.
Recently, he's started showing symptoms of dry eye. His right eye looks terrible. I made a vet appointment, but I know that they're going to put him on drops for the rest of his life.
I have mixed emotions. He's been a part of my life for so long that I can't imagine life without him. But at the same time, I know that he'll be gone sooner than I'd like.
Yet I know that he was loved. He knows that he was loved. He has lived the fullest, happiest life I could give him. Which, honestly? Sometimes I could have been better. If it came down to taking care of me or taking care of him, he won out, every time, and yet there were still times that I just felt so guilty because I couldn't afford something he needed.
Anyway, he's still relatively healthy and happy, and I am gonna make the most of that. But it just sucks so much, seeing him get older and start to struggle and look at me with that face that says he expects me to fix it, or help, the same as when he was a puppy -- and knowing that old age is about the one thing that I can't fix for him.