I just quit my second job (phone job) - I want to get good sleep for what is to come.
And I managed to save a bunch of a my plants after the summer winter storm!
Also one nice thing about mushing is that I don't have to worry about passing germs to roleplay partners.
I am so sorry for what you dealing with GreenFlashlight and what those around you are dealing with.
I was working the Covid isolation floor yesterday and am worried about a staffer who came down with a strange blood clot, wondering if it is covid related and if they have more clots.
The crisis is far from over and its going to be a rough winter, I think.
We went from record breaking historic heat and it raining heated ash while the sky was covered in a thick cloud of smoke to recording breaking historic colds for this time of year with it snowing and freezing in 24 hours.
My plants are mostly not to going make it! I tried to wrap up tomatoes plants in blankets which fell ontop of the plants along with the cages from the weight of snow!
2020, wtf!
My real life peeve is smoke!
We got this like haze of smoke over everything from wildfires. With this happening during the Covid scare, I have people coming up to me, I cant breath well. Is it smoke or Covid? I wish the smoke would be gone and the Covid too, but together..wtf...2020!
I am going to be two jobs for a while. So if I am busy, it is not personal. I adore my rp partners, but expect life to get crazy.
I am going back to in person nursing in order to help out with the Covid crisis and am keeping my tele health job PRN. I am also tending a massive Homestead type garden.
I actually don't know how often I will be around or not, I plan to play it by ear, not worry about the game for a while and just fit it when it works and it feels low stress to play.
To The Man with the Crooked Smile
The man with the Pearlescent smile strides gracefully over shiny floors that smell like chemicals. Standing out among those in scrubs and faded old threads, he is adorned in a finely tailored suit. He smiles, his pearlescent smile as shiny and sterilized as the floors, the big man. He is a treasure here and he knows it. Nurses blush, elderly in wheelchairs perk up under the glow of his attention and even busy overworked doctors stop to say hello. He makes his way past a withered small woman in a wheelchair asking for help, speeding up. He makes his way past a confused elderly man asking for his mom, waving him away. He makes his way past the woman with down syndrome, trying to show him her new stuffed rabbit, shushing her. He escapes to his large office with the big windows and then his smile fades as he drops down into his comfy desk chair, newly ordered and more expensive than the many wheelchairs in this gloomy haven. He calls his mom, to tell her how things went on his first day as the new director, a job his uncle got him. He whines about the smell and she assures him, you will only have to be on site for a little while before working at corporate headquarters and never having to see a patient again.
The man with the crooked smile makes his way over the shiny floors, loud in his old big boots, adorned in a pair of old blue scrubs, a slight limp to his step, a heaviness. He is not a nurse though. He never finished high school. He has a troubled past. As a kid there was never money to fix his teeth and it never came as an adult. He got a job as a server, at this place of despair and of death, haven of the abandoned, hideaway for the untouchables, because it was a job he could get. He never intended to be a caregiver, but he became one. He smiles his crooked smile to the nurses who smile warmly back, warm because he sometimes helps them. No blushes though, no those are for the pearlescent. He smiles and stops to help the elderly woman in her wheelchair. He stops to guide the confused man looking for his mom to breakfast and talks him down from fear. He stops to admire the stuffed rabbit that is shown to him. He goes into the dinning room and gets busy, bustling all day to try and do enough to make a small difference, even if only for today and for this moment. He doesn’t have time to think much or whine. He is used to the smell. He knows he will never move on from this place and he never did.
The man with the pearlescent smile, gathers everyone up to hold a meeting. We need to save money, he says and smiles and smiles until his face seems about to crystallize into something non living. It is a smile of pain. Yes, even he can feel pain. No nurses are blushing now, all their heat toward him iced into hard stares or surrendered into resigned bitter sighs. Use less gloves. We are deducting breaks from your checks even if you don’t have time to take them. Spend less money on food for the patients. We are cutting staff on the floor. No staying over no matter what is happening. He says and smiles and smiles and smiles. He speaks of good. He speaks of ideals. He praises us all for caring. He says we need to use less food, less masks, less medications. But you care and god is with you. Less wound supplies. We are doing good, good, good.
As he listens there is no longer a man with a crooked smile, not right now, not in this moment, only a man with crooked teeth and sad plain brown eyes. I thought he was handsome when he smiled, crooked teeth and all. Do the nurses sometimes now blush when he walks by and smiles his crooked smile?
I follow the gleam into his office. He just sat down to his gluten free, paleo, grass feed, dairy free meal, perched in his plush seat, looking very handsome in his tailored suit, a picture of his beautiful wife and son, the small boy already smiling a false pearlescent smile, upon his desk. I ask him, how can we use less gloves we already don’t have enough? What food is there extra to cut back on? He stabs his organic sweet potato smothered in coconut oil with a fork and says. “Figure it out sweetie, you can and you will, I know you are smart.” I look down at the budget cut paperwork on his desk and think about the bonus he is getting, paid for taking sliced bananas from the elderly and the sick. He takes a bite, a big greedy bite.
And the man with the crooked smile, gets his smile back despite it all. He brings in peaches from mom’s garden. He goes to Good Will to bargain for bags of clothing to bring back to those without. He shows up, day after day, still admiring rabbits, still smiling his crooked smile and still guiding whenever he can. His is a persistent joy and I used to think a naive joy. I don’t think that anymore. Isn’t he mad? Isn’t he mad he doesn’t make more than minimum wage? Isn’t he mad that those we care for don’t have more and he smiles and smiles, his sincere and gentle smile. He doesn’t seem mad.
When Covid hits, it comes to them, cut back on gloves, or course it comes to them. It comes to others like them, there are many like them. I have left long before Covid, moving as many girls like me do, overwhelmed with sorrow, with despair, lured by better options, we never stay. But the man with the crooked smile remains.
In another state, they send out a gleamer who smiles his pearlescent smile at the camera, going this is unprecedented. He looks nervous. Are the pearlescents frightened? Paramedics on the news express shock at how few staff there were and now limited the supplies. And a pearlescent boy, much like the pearlescent boy I know, keeps saying unprecedented. But I was there and late at night when nobody can see is a good time to save money, smile, smile that pearlescent smile, a face that becomes marble doesn’t break, a soul vanishes.
The man with the crooked smile goes to work. He is not young. He is not healthy. He smiles his crooked smile to those more isolated than ever. He shows no fear so that others will not fear. The health aids are there. The dishwashers are there. The housekeepers are here. The cooks are there. The servers are there. The nurses are there. The man with the pearlescent smile is gone. The man with the crooked smile was there. The man with the crooked smile is now gone
Yeah, I just read in the news the antibodies tests are wrong half the time. And I did pester my insurance further and a got rather formal response that the FDA has not approved the test for determining who has had Covid or not, but only for research.
Still if I got the test and had antibodies, it would have been a comforting reassurance to have. Then again false reassurances can be dangerous. I would have been still very careful about infection control, but it is habit for me, even before Covid.
I think I will give up on the test for now and revisit the antibody test later.
Than you all for the thoughtful input. MSB is a deep thinking and intelligent group.
Tried to get an antibody test before going to in person cares because I have been intensively exposed to Covid (A while back) and being told at first by a doctor "The antibody test doesn't exist" Then after explaining I looked right at test results being told "Well it does, but you have to go the Mayo Clinic or something, it isn't here yet." Telling the doctor. "I seen results from tests ordered from a clinic nearby" Then the doctor says "Well maybe it does exist and can be done, but we don't know what immunity means yet." Then saying. "I am a nurse dealing with Covid, I understand that it is complicated, not fully understood yet and not an assurance of immunity. but I would still like to know if I had it" Well our lab doesn't do them. Your insurance doesn't cover this test.
Meanwhile a non-working friend of mine who has self quarantined through the whole thing and had no known exposure got an antibody test just because she wanted it. It was negative. And celebrities can get antibody tests. I talked to an ER doctor who told me he wasn't able to get an antibody test either.
It is super frustrating. I complained to my insurance but I will probably need to pay out of pocket and go through a different medical practice to get a test.
(Disclaimer: I would advise anyone who has a positive antibody test to still take every precaution as we don't yet know how long-term and effective immunity to Covid is. There is also some risk of covid exposure when going to a lab or clinic so maybe better done if one needs other blood work anyways rather than making a special trip)
I don't have a 37 I just counted wrong, but...
I think tea would be a good 37. A warm cup of tea with honey can make everything seem much better.
I don't mind if anyone uses this list. Most of list is advice other people gave me.
I had lots of issues. I got lots of help. Thank you mushing community for all the help! I complied a list of things that helped me. Maybe it will help others.
I hope this helps, it helps me, these are the 37 rules I try to follow! It is largely compiled from things other mushers told me while I was struggling and some comes from counsler and google. Some I read on msb.
I wish you every happiness and success AB. I hope you find wonderful rp in a community that works well for you. But even more so I hope your real life goes well. I am sorry you have had such a difficult time lately and I hope that things go better. I think they can go better.
I was sitting her delaying my charting watching the news when the stories of meat shortages came up. I was like oh no! And ordered some rice and beans just in case.
This brought up a few questions that I would be curious to see how others answers. I am also very much procrastinating on all the paper work I should be doing with MSB!
Anyways...
Where is the line between hording and being sensibly prepared?
What are good options to replace meat? I went with rice and beans.
Should we be gardening and raising egg laying chickens and stuff - I go back and forth on this. My soil is clay and potting soil is up in price and very expensive right now. But on the other hand..food shortages. Also foxes likes the chickens around here a lot and I am not sure I am ready to of fend off foxes!
I am so sorry for the lose of your uncle.
And I agree completely with taking Covid serious, wearing masks and washing hands.
My real life has been difficult.
I am in tele-health and have been fielding calls from relatives who's family have covid or are in facilities with outbreaks in addition to normal stuff I do. It has been emotional and difficult. Despite that I am very honored to help however that I can and I do feel some guilt for not looking for an in person job.
One of my roommates is always exposed as they are essential and still working. They are doing the right thing and I am proud of them, but it does mean that our household is never out of the woods in terms of exposure.
My son has special needs and is home from school. He is a sweetheart, but teaching a hyper child with autism and ADD from home while working tons of hours, has been a challenge. I have renewed appreciation for his teachers. The online learning platform is not ideal for him. I have had a long running fear of what will become of him if something happens to me and this current crisis has really brought those fears to the forefront, but day by day the fears are getting better and life is going on.
There has been an outbreak in my neighborhood, but my neighbors on the mend. I didn't get sick and nobody in my house did, despite pretty intense exposure. We are actually thinking we might have already had Covid as we got a super flu in Feb that knocked me out like no sickness ever has before with high fevers and shortness of breath.
I would love an anti-body test, but need to be patient for those.
I have friends and family on the front lines and due a combination of supply issues and just not caring enough about little people on the part of their management, they don't have the supplies they need. So I have been spending time and money on getting these supplies and making my home made lysol, which smells like peppermint and probably works better anyways. I feel like in this way, I am helping my friends and family it through, but also my community as they are using to sanatize as they go about their way which can only help.
A friend of mine did pass of Covid. They had serious chronic health problems, but their passing is still...well I cannot put my feelings into words on this.
I feel blessed that I have not go sick despite having auto-immune disease and that my sister with autoimmune disease as well is doing well. I feel blessed to have my son with me and blessed that he is smiling and happy despite it all. I am also blessed to have an income through this all.
But it still has been stressful. I had some struggles trying to come back to Arx and realized I wasn't ready for a full return. That being said, I appreciate the Arx community and some of my friendships found there have got very real. My return will be slow, ic_only for now and probably focused on smaller scenes. It is nice to know that Arx and my characters are still there and I do appreciate that staff is very patient and understanding about real life.
That being said there is much that is wonderful about the mush community and in times of crisis, I appreciate the friends I made even more.I hope everyone stays safe and I think this pandemdic is hard on different people in different ways.
I was exposed to Covid when I went to help my neighbors who have covid.
I am in the age range to be low risk, but I have autoimmune disease and then I watch the news and see NYC talking about their ICU filled some with younger patients and it is scary.
I am also working from home, doing tele health and some calls coming in are covid related, so everything seems covid covid and it is hard to keep the anxiety down.
I was considering going back to work in person to help out with this crisis, but clearly now I need to isolate and not consider that yet. I will wait at least 14 days and get a tested before I do that. They are not testing people with no or mild symptoms, but I would have to be sure I am not a spreader before doing direct care. I was already isolating for a very minor cold like symptoms that resolved and was probably not covid. Could have even been spring allergies.
I also apologize to those I have been ignoring on Arx and want to assure anyone, it is not personal at all and would like to ask people to be patient if I miss messages, pages, get behind or don't log in.
I am trying to stay hydrated, stay positive, take my vitamins.
The harder part is trying to relax, keep stress low and sleep enough which is important for the immune system. I have to wait 14 days to see. I think the unknown with Covid can be the hardest of all. Ironically worrying about covid, could make covid worse, but easier said than done!
Logically I realize I will probably will get covid, but I will probably survive it, but the fear is still there. I have anxiety disorder with a fear of pandemics which I was in therapy for. This outbreak also stopped my therapy for now, although I could try seeking such over the phone.
I realize this is effecting many people, most people in some way or another and I send my well wishes to everyone. From lose of income, to kids home from school, to supply shortages, to illness in one's self or loved ones, to fear of illness - these are rough rough times and even those without Covid are effected.
I appreciate all the suggestions. Watched Lego Master earlier and am watching Frozen 2 now.
Good thoughts, thank you.
I did see too Frozen 2 is released early.
I wonder if anyone has suggestions on shows to stream that are not dark shows - as dark shows increases my anxiety. I am self isolating looking for movies, funny shows, distracting shows to stream on netflix, hulu, disney + or prime. I am open to suggestions if anyone has thoughts!
My thoughts and prayers are with those effected. I am will be wishing Mietze and her family to get through this well. I don't know Mietze's player at least not that I know of, but her posts here have always impressed me with their insight and clarity. I am effected by the situation as well and I find reading her posts encouraging. I think she is a great mother and her family is blessed to have her. The love she has for those around her really comes through.
SilverFox, I am sorry about your school and am wishing you and your students the best. Thanks for caring so much about your students.
Arx can be wonderful community and I am deeply thankful the many friends that I made there. In the time of quarantines, it can be likely a great outlet for many.
While dealing with the outbreak - I am personally asking that people give me a bit of understanding if I miss a page, discord message, messenger or don't rp much. I don't know how much I will be rping really. I also just to lower any stress as much possible ask that nobody ask for me anything ooc that is game related. Asking ic is fine and I love to hear from friends oocly just not when attached to any ooc requests for ascii, training or etc.
I am wishing everyone well. I am grateful that we have understanding and supportive staff who get that real life comes first and really to wish the best for their players.
