Best posts made by Thenomain

@wizz said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

If these were my shoes (and I am genuinely grateful in this case that they aren't, you really do seem to have to deal with a lot of bullshit Surr and I am sorry for that) I would have approached these people privately and allowed whatever weird crusade this thread suddenly became to become its own thing on its own momentum, if there really was any.

Or is it better to debase yourself publicly so those who are not directly involved are informed?

I don't think there's a right way to do this. Myself, I've been trying to be a better person and lean on those I consider close friends. It doesn't always work, as one particular person knows, but I also would rather try behind the scenes.

It's pretty obvious that Surreality didn't think this was good for her situation, and I can't fault her for it. Some of the fallout is to be expected, but finding that perfect middle ground is not trivial.

@bad-at-lurking said in Interest check - Teen Wolf/Mercy Thompson MU:

@thenomain said in Interest check - Teen Wolf/Mercy Thompson MU:

@bad-at-lurking said in Interest check - Teen Wolf/Mercy Thompson MU:

More than you wanted to know, but I seriously enjoy these books, so I gush a little.

This makes you a positive advocate, and someone who would find good things in a Mu* of this stripe, so gush away!

I am still going to make fun of her, er, wolf paw tattoo, though. Is that some kind of new thing to indicate that you’re, er, smooth down there?

If it is, wouldn't we have seen it popping up on the rainbow haired sex pixies on MUs by now?

Well we will now.

@lemon-fox said in Forgiveness in Mushing:

@thenomain said in Forgiveness in Mushing:

Accepting the situation is something that I think too few people strive for. I constantly try to improve, and it frustrates me when I think I have no progress in this field.

Don't give up on it!

Well, no, because I try to have a mantra of "accept and understand". Forgiving isn't in there because that's something that will either come out of understanding, or the emotions will fade from moving on.

I have a short list of people I've not forgiven for things they've done, almost exclusively to other people, but I can still interact with them for projects and things that need to get done. Repeating "it just doesn't matter!" over and over in my head also helps.

@faraday said in Earning stuff:

actual stories

I'm not interested in a plot structured story. I'm interested to write the story my character tells over its life.

So maybe you and I have different definitions of "story" and, for that matter, the importance of "random social scenes" in getting there.

Maybe the dichotomy is that I don't need a structured reason to have a scene and see where it goes. What you call "random" I call ... well, random, perhaps, but not without sense or purpose.

@ganymede said in Forgiveness in Mushing:

Honestly, I don't notice, and I don't care.

Because forgiveness is what happens when we feel wronged.

If we didn’t feel wronged, there’s nothing to forgive.

I can sincerely say that every well adjusted person I know just knows this at a “that’s life” level.

Some day I will be as good as them.

—

Or I’ll be as good as Bill Murray, tho if I can be The Real Ghostbusters version I would prefer it.

@lotherio said in Earning stuff:

@lisse24 said in Earning stuff:

I think we need to do a better job of finding ways to make random/social RP focused and meaningful from the outset.

It would be great to find a solution that could reward random/social without unbalancing scales; without becoming code heavy/staff reliant.

Maybe some light code system that gives characters a reason to interact. Ooh! How about a game system where there are unknowns and the characters get together sometimes to pass along...lets call it lore. Oh! Better! Clues.

All praise and joking aside, even a system like this is very game dependent. Another system I’ve seen is one that rewards people for playing together, but I’ve seen it work (Arx) and not work (The Reach). It doesn’t matter what system you design if the players don’t engage with it.

@aerianyx said in Learning how to apply appropriate boundaries:

So, this is my long-winded way of asking for advice or tips on how to ascertain if something is worth broaching and most importantly, how to address an issue in a way that doesn't come across assholish.

I have seen, over and over, people so emotionally terrorized that they're afraid if people find out they'll find out if you do anything that even hints about going against them.

Here is what I do:

• First, I prod people I know. "Do you know anything about x?" If they explode in complaints, I'm probably safe with my friends and a lot of stress goes away.
• Second, I pay attention to them in scenes and on the boards. I usually make my final decision here: Are they harmful to the game or those I care about?
• Third, I usually end up going to straight-up full asshole, but don't do that. Instead, I advise people continue prodding in larger and larger social circles. If you have a friend-circle who are positive you always have something to fall back to.
• Finally, if you think it's important, bring it up to a staffer you trust. It doesn't matter if they're in the sphere this other player is involved in, bring it up to them first. This is a prod to the staff level, and you might get some important feedback. You can then decide how much harder you want to push to staff.

The hard part is if you can't do anything about it. Then you still have some options. The biggest one is:

• Avoid the asshole.

This is not always easy. If the situation is something that is impossible to avoid, then you have another:

• Tell everyone, as polite and considerate manner possible, what's bothering you. Don't make a big deal of it.

People are pretty human when they know their playmates are upset, and Mushing is mainly an exercise in improv, so ask people to roll with it.

What you need to feel comfortable in doing any of this is knowing that you either already have a good social skill, or that you're going to make mistakes while building it up.

We're all human, and many of us are even adults. Do not ever forget the most important rule of Mushing: RL Comes First.

@tragedyjones said in Fallout: Montreal:

My body is ready. I am going to assume this will go live whenever the Fallout 76 beta is to torment me.

Well then you could have your survival sim in one window and RPG in the other. Win-win!

@groth said in Constructive (keyword) Criticism of Arx Systems:

It's hard to get good feedback though, most players never want to give any opinions at all while others just want to rant and rave about what they want while the designer usually just wants to know if things feel like they're intended to feel.

There are a lot of documents out there aimed toward board game designers on how to get feedback. This is a well-trodden path. It starts with wanting to be open to feedback.

If people on Arx don't feel comfortable giving feedback or having a discussion, then that's an internal issue that should be addressed, starting with the important one: Sometimes the feedback you get won't be pretty.

"Kill your darlings."

More specific questions would be a good start, too. Explaining the scope of the feedback being requested. Taking even the Firehose style responses to better get the feedback intended. Communication as a cycle is a craft.

That's my "I agree", but hopefully adding to it.

I dunno, @magee101 might have a point: Staffing is Super Cereal.

Dammit, now I want cereal for dinner.

Hurrah for adulting; the ability to decide when to not be serious!

Oh my lord:

• Portray the Pentacle as an Alliance
• Show the Orders as mystery cults

Hello Mage. Nice to meet you again.

What, did someone forget to post when the Wizened alpha write-up came out? Hello again, Nockers! I have missed you too.

@arkandel

See, here it makes it sound like you’re giving players a choice. “Here is a thing I want to do, cool?”

What you described was setting. This is what players should be agreeing to before they finish their first character. Their interpretation is going to change things, yes, but I cannot, e.g. go to Arx and decide my character is half-elven.

Nor can I go to an Elf-Only Inn RP channel as Spock. This is not a lack of “buy-in”, this is outright disrespect to the game. (Or hilarious.)

There are only a few things you can do, and most of them are corral the players until they agree to play the game before them. The other is throw them off or close the game.

You can also luck out and not have this be a game-closing problem. A solid player base will help you overcome many obstacles.

@tinuviel

I would have taken it as just a vibe; I will say that I was extremely twitchy and overreacting on the public channel. This is a thing I do and I'm not proud of it and I'm owning it.

However, Creature lectured me about it not once but twice, and at the second one I asked for the same consideration that they were asking from me. This was not welcome (okay), but terms like "understand" and "not good for either of us" were used, which are typical weasel words for "I'm throwing you out but don't want to sound mean doing it", except it was presumptive and honestly kind of insulting.

I am not for a moment saying that I would've worked for the game, but I would liked to have had a chance to get away from Overbearing Staff Judgement in order to get my senses back. After staff started making decisions for me while asking for understanding, asking for a certain attitude but not affording the same, I decided that there's no sense in trying.

It seems like a great game for those who fit staff's expectations. For those who don't, good luck.

tl;dr: I didn't agree the way they wanted. Their game, their unwritten rules.

What kind of game?

99.9995% of the people like phone talk/texting functionality.

I like complete news files and simple chargen. The simpler the better.

Other than that, pour all your effort in making people feel welcome and included with things to do.

@kanye-qwest

I did ask for it. And I told them twice was too much for what they were asking of me, and to offer me some slack. They took this to mean that I didn’t want to work with them, which is the words that they put in my mouth that triggered this round of flailing.

I’m willing to own my flailing. I was willing to own it when you ridiculed me publicly on Arx. I am not going to let staff anywhere use that as an excuse to make me their bitch for ten seconds. No, if staff wants understanding and sincerity I’ll give it to them, but if they throw it in my face then I’m going to call them out for it.

Punish me for crimes I’ve committed, not those you think I might commit. It’s just that easy.

The entire Evennia IRC crew are amazing. Their ability to answer the questions and do the things without making you feel like a newb is fantastic, and people there are always sharing thoughts and concepts on how to do things, for themselves and others.

A++, This Is How You Succeed at Interneting.

@arkandel said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

Not everyone here has the self awareness or nerve to do as much.

If I had that much self-awareness I wouldn't fail the same way over and over.

Praise to those who don't. Emmahsue. Coin. Chime. Yourself. Usually Ganymede. Many others. So many people here who don't make noise, they are the people who should be catered to, they are the heroes, but we don't give them enough credit or voice because they don't use their voice to make waves.

Those people are who we want. Not me. God no.

--

@meg said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

@thenomain said in criticism not allowed in ad threads is only enforcing a false positive, prove me wrong:

I had four people independently contact me warning me away from the people running the game for doing what I accused them of doing,

Man, theno, you know I like you, but name names or don't bring it up. Don't drop shadow figures of people who 'all agree' about this one thing without giving some concrete names and at least some bit of proof.

Three reasons:

1. It's not my place to out them. Let them out themselves.
2. It's not my place to out them. You know what happens to players who want to lie low to questionable staff but get outed? It's not pretty. I'm willing--maybe too eager--to be that person but it's not my place.
3. The post wasn't about the game, it's about my motivation for using the ad thread as a conversational ground.

Saying "pics or it didn't happen" doesn't mean it didn't happen. Seriously. Don't fall into the "prove it" defense because it's just as easily used to dismiss criticism. There's a certain point where the evidence has to stack up, but it won't happen unless someone starts it.

You can't have stone soup until someone puts in the stone and invites the town.

So I think you mis-interpreted my motivations, but hopefully that clears it up.

@kumakun said in Fate Development Thread:

How would you guys handle milestones and character development in a persistent setting?

I would ask a similar question: "How would you define a session, or story arc?"

Minor Milestones:
I think at the end of any run scene, if someone can explain how the scene applies to the Minor Achievement then they should get it. (Maybe max once per week per one of the four Minor Achievements.)

Significant Milestones:
Whomever is running the scene probably knows beforehand if the scene itself is significant, though surprises will be had. If a private scene reveals a major character shift, then the dreaded "log review" would probably happen. These things are supposed to be personal.

Maybe limit people to one Significant Milestone per week or two weeks, or let them bank one. Sometimes you learn a crapton about yourself in a hurry, but the effect could be offset.

Major Milestones:
This is Fate's big level-up. Off the top of my head I can't think of anything less than an application and obvious situation. This is probably going to depend hugely on the themes of your game. I think that "Avengers: Civil War" held more than one Major Milestone for both Cap and Tony Stark.

The Key for any of these is that they make sense. Thank goodness that there's little in Fate's advancement system where you can't point and go, "There's the thing that I did/happened to me."

Adding and activating Aspects may be really personal, but I think you could make Advancement pretty clear and straight-forward.

@auspice said in Echoes in the Mists - Discussion:

Let people enjoy things ffs.

Filtering out the people who ruin it for everyone else is not a trivial task. Sometimes the easiest way is to not invite the bad with the good until you're ready for it, then setting up a very clear set of parameters and dealing with the jerkwads who don't want to follow it.

Note: Ainneve is Evennia spelled backwards. It took me longer than 5 seconds to notice that. Alas.