@auspice Ugh. That is a weird question, and it would have thrown me, too. If there is no goal (point in doing) a thing, it’d be hard for me to justify doing it at all on the clock on someone else’s dime. I probably would have had to ask for an example of what they meant. Granted, I have been self employed for years, but...
@auspice If you do have to walk a bit still I might recommend getting some foot braces or compression socks to keep everything in alignment. They help me when joints are out and inflamed.
@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@gingerlily Give me your hamstrings! I'll give you uhm, a chocolate chip cookie.
Give me your brain and we have a deal. I want to keep my own thoughts and stuff, I just want a brain that isn't constantly misfiring chemicals and giving me headaches. You can have that, and also be able to touch your toes AND get into lotus position with no effort!
@zz said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@auspice If you do have to walk a bit still I might recommend getting some foot braces or compression socks to keep everything in alignment. They help me when joints are out and inflamed.
I had never thought of compression socks for helping with walking. That might not be a bad idea!
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
@auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
The migraines had ebbed off. Drugs were managing.
But oh god I have a killer one today.
Love and sympathy. I had gone 9 days with no migraine it was a personal record! So cool. Then work exploded and I got a nassssty one on Tuesday. Life is cruel.
@auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
I had never thought of compression socks for helping with walking. That might not be a bad idea!
They are pretty nifty, from personal experience, but don't use them too often or your body'll demand them.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
@ganymede said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@auspice said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
I had never thought of compression socks for helping with walking. That might not be a bad idea!
They are pretty nifty, from personal experience, but don't use them too often or your body'll demand them.
I'm ready for anything to help my right leg. My calf muscles build up so fast and get super tight, so the tendons in my foot get pulled all wonky. I'm approaching perma-limp right now. ![😕](http://musoapbox.net/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/android/1f615.png?v=4vfms5ns7sl ":\")
Phone interview today for a position at a small company (a startup, but a really healthy one). It's a rather unique kind of role. As in the phone call ended with him saying he needs to decide how he wants to approach the next stage, but will get in touch once he does (meaning he's interested, yay!).
If I get this, it'd actually use my writing skills. And pay well.
I'm too scared to get my hopes up so someone else do it for me.
I have just sent in my resignation from a job I've had for the past seven years, which paid well, offered absurdly flexible and limited hours, came with a private office, and allowed me to do things I probably would have done anyway as a hobby, all in a relaxed, low-stress environment.
My partner and I will now be moving 3/4 of the way across the country to a state where I have never previously lived, and do not yet have a job or even a job offer.
Anxiety level: off the fucking charts.
@autumn said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
My partner and I will now be moving 3/4 of the way across the country to a state where I have never previously lived, and do not yet have a job or even a job offer.
Why?
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
@ganymede The cold, damp climate where we are presently makes my partner physically and psychologically miserable. And, to be fair, it's getting to be pretty hard on me as well.
@autumn That is rough, I just had to move 900 miles and the job I had where I used to live was supposed to transfer me down there to the new location. After /2 weeks/ I am still not in the system down here, my bills are shot, my credit rating is going to tank, but at least I have an interview tomorrow finally for something new.
Back on the interview train. Phone interview today (should know in a few days if I'll get an in-person). Interview with a recruiter on Monday (was supposed to be today, but I was still too sick).
I can't find it in myself to feel hopeful at this point. I'm just going through the motions.
I eye this thread askance. Uncertain.
I eye it and am like: yes? no.
I have to adult a lot this week.
I am not looking forward to it.
I realize I am posting here way too much and writing far too much, because it is much more enjoyable to argue about shitty people who make my teeth grind than to handle the adulting I need to do this morning alone, and shitty people who make my teeth grind are not actually enjoyable to even think about much.
I do not want to call the asshole surgeon to tell him the same thing he's ignored the past four times I've been to his office to tell him that I can't have the test done he wanted done by this week -- because he completely ignored what I told him the last four times I've been there -- knowing that the best result I'm going to end up with is a rescheduled appointment and more of the same antibiotic that makes my skin slough off in peeling sheets in anticipation of having at least one of my breasts partially or completely hacked off in the coming months.
I do not want to haul 3 more boxes, each approximately 80lbs, or have to open them on my parents' lawn to haul in the slatgrid panels individually to drag into their garage with the rest of our show gear.
I am really not in the mood to price shit today, either, even if know I need to keep at that steady because I was too productive earlier in the year and have a huge stockpile of crap that needs pricing.
@Auspice: here's the thing. You shouldn't be hopeful. Hear me out.
I spent almost four years unemployed, despite constant searching and a genuine desire to return to the workforce. And at first, whenever an interview seemed to go well, I allowed myself to become hopeful. But then I would get the inevitable letter or call informing me they made a different decision, and I would get crushed and there would be crying, and it would basically be an emotional shit show.
I don't know how good you are at managing your expectations; some people do it better than others and it's a skill I had to learn over time, and still don't entirely manage perfectly. But my advice to you is, after you've done an interview, you can certainly acknowledge that it seemed to go well...but then you have to find a way to let it go, and go to the next thing. Easier spoken then done, but if you try, you may find you will weather the process of finding employment in a much healthier way. I've literally had someone yell at me for this particular advice, only to come back to me a few months later and acknowledge that I was right.
"If you stand for nothing Burr, what will you fall for?"
-- Hamilton: An American Musical
Other than the one job where they passed after gushing over me and discussing benefits in depth, I haven't been upset in being passed up on. Not other than the general 'damnit, still no job' sense at least.
One of the biggest pieces of advice I got when I was 18 was: 'The worst they can say is no.'
But the issue here is I feel nothing anymore. I feel no hope. No drive. Just sort of an empty, fatalistic sense of 'why bother?' As if I'm only applying to jobs and going to interviews because it's become habit.
And logically, I know, I'm risking that coming through in my interviews... which will only hurt things more. But the well is empty.
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
@auspice I have no advice, and I find words of encouragement and suggestions for action never help me when I am stuck where it sounds you are.
I hope someone else in the community is in a position to help you find options that you can implement to get some relief.
I'm still gonna leave this gift-wrapped hug, here, in case you might want to wear it for a while, right next to this jar of best wishes.
@surreality Do you have a website? I want to see the awesome things :3 But also need some inspiration motivation to get my shit up on my shopify. In two months I have managed to get seven things out of over a hundred posted and I just dread it. I hate taking pictures, I hate writing the descriptions. I just want to make things and have them magically disappear and leave money in their place >.<
@taika said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@surreality Do you have a website? I want to see the awesome things :3 But also need some inspiration motivation to get my shit up on my shopify. In two months I have managed to get seven things out of over a hundred posted and I just dread it. I hate taking pictures, I hate writing the descriptions. I just want to make things and have them magically disappear and leave money in their place >.<
Maybe buying super fun photography stuff would help? https://photojojo.com/
I have a friend who, for a while, made and sold jewelry on etsy and she got almost more excited about the photos once she got a small lightbox setup. 
@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@gingerlily Give me your hamstrings! I'll give you uhm, a chocolate chip cookie.
Give me your brain and we have a deal. I want to keep my own thoughts and stuff, I just want a brain that isn't constantly misfiring chemicals and giving me headaches. You can have that, and also be able to touch your toes AND get into lotus position with no effort!
