Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.

[Derp]

@TNP said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Ganymede said in [Real World Peeves,

... and we forgot to actually file a notice of appearance for you so you cannot raise any legal arguments in defense of the appeal we filed or inquire of any witnesses. Godspeed.*

Sounds like they conveniently 'forgot' to do what was needed to present a successful case in an abominable situation that they should feel horrible about doing?

While it would be nice to think that's an option, in reality if you 'forget' to do something for a shitty client, it's still potentially malpractice.

[Ganymede]

@TNP

To be blunt, it’s just bad optics. Last thing a politician should want is a headline that reads:

“City attempts to deny death benefits to widow of 30-year veteran of fire department who got brain cancer as a result of the hazards of work.”

I mean, seriously.

[boneghazi]

My six year old has learned how to dab.

[Groth]

@nyctophiliac
I'm sorry

[Alamias]

@nyctophiliac said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

My six year old has learned how to dab.

I know your pain. My 11 year old started doing that over a year ago and...ugh.

[boneghazi]

It was somewhat cute the very first time he did it but then the horror set in shortly afterwards.
Then he said boomshakalaka and I'm just.

[WildBaboons]

@nyctophiliac

[Alamias]

@WildBaboons Ha! I just watched Cabin in the Woods last night! I love that movie.

[Derp]

@Alamias said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@WildBaboons Ha! I just watched Cabin in the Woods last night! I love that movie.

That movie is absolutely glorious, and it's a crime that it doesn't get more love.

[Ganymede]

@Derp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

That movie is absolutely glorious, and it's a crime that it doesn't get more love.

In second place: Zombeavers.

Seriously, it's an awesome movie.

[Auspice]

Of late, the RL group I'm in has made me reflect warmly on this board and how kind y'all can be. Over the past couple weeks in said group:

• one girl has lashed out at people who have been friendly to a guy she's 'claimed' (he's gay and married btw). And by friendly I mean 'have simply spoken to'. Some of us escape this treatment (but I'm not sure how she picks who she's ok with him being friends with vs who she isn't).
• the group owner got really mad at me for referencing aforementioned gay member's gayness (super tame joke; I spoke to him after and he was OK with it) as it 'outed' him (despite the fact that he talks about his husband frequently) and chewed me out. The following day, this guy made the 'attack helicopter' joke (which is known to be transphobic) AT a genderfluid member and......nothing was said (except by the person it was said to....who got kinda waved off by others).
• group owner talks often about wanting to promote a safe place for people to discuss mental health, to feel welcome, to de stigmatize........but it seems to only go for her and her friends. Everyone else gets silence at best, complained at for being 'negative' at worst.
• at a suggestion from myself and another member to setup a ko-fi account to help fund prizes, reserving meetup spaces, etc (since she complained about such things), the group owner did so and then....promptly bought herself some business cards.

Outside the woman running this and a couple others, everyone in the group is really nice. But there's a growing number of people who are pretty much disengaging from public online interactions...

And every time I've seen her behavior be brought up, it gets answered with the dreaded 'but I have anxiety'.

[Derp]

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

at a suggestion from myself and another member to setup a ko-fi account to help fund prizes, reserving meetup spaces, etc (since she complained about such things), the group owner did so and then....promptly bought herself some business cards

Woooooof. There are some potentially very bad things happening there.

[Auspice]

@Derp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

at a suggestion from myself and another member to setup a ko-fi account to help fund prizes, reserving meetup spaces, etc (since she complained about such things), the group owner did so and then....promptly bought herself some business cards

Woooooof. There are some potentially very bad things happening there.

Yeeeeeeah. The other person who had made the suggestion was messaging me this morning very upset about it. The fact that she had to share Facebook screenshots of the announcement of the purchase (and it wasn't shared in Discord since a couple of us are Discord-only and others aren't very active in FB / it was a COMMENT on the original ko-fi post vs a new post) means the woman likely knew she did wrong and was trying to keep it on the DL.

[mietze]

As I have said for years, people who truly believe that MSB is the worst of humanity/interpersonal interaction bluntly really have probably never belonged to a PTA, volunteer org, or any other organized social group with at least some assets and that isn't totally tied up as an already-friends group.

MSB is fucking tame.

Doesnt mean it doesnt hurt or break my heart now and then, but.

[mietze]

That being said, it is also relatively easy to set up an association usually. If there's truly a desire to start paying reservations and purchasing stuff on a regular basis, doing that might help keep things on the up and up (and also would allow the funds to remain available even with a change in leadership).

The problem with one person having the funds in their name is that it's so very easy for even well intentioned people to slip "I need to get this little 5 dollar thing, but I will pay it back right away." "Well maybe I should ask people first but they'll probably be okay with it!". And before you know it things are more and more serious. That can still happen with incorporated orgs and that is often how embezzlement starts from volunteer orgs and PTAs too, especially with lots of cash handling.

It's a pretty yucky feeling. Hopefully the group can hammer out some guidelines for agreed upon things that can be purchased at the very least. I think a lot of times people think there's a baseline of "common sense", but nothing surprises me, even when people honestly did not intend to use funds inappropriately.

[Auspice]

@mietze said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

The problem with one person having the funds in their name is that it's so very easy for even well intentioned people to slip "I need to get this little 5 dollar thing, but I will pay it back right away." "Well maybe I should ask people first but they'll probably be okay with it!". And before you know it things are more and more serious. That can still happen with incorporated orgs and that is often how embezzlement starts from volunteer orgs and PTAs too, especially with lots of cash handling.

What's funny-sad is she initially resisted because she claimed she didn't want people to give her money for exactly that (she didn't want people to feel like there might be something improper). I had brought a piggy bank to a few meetups. I did that back when I was an ML for NaNoWriMo and at the end of the event, I'd take all the cash from it and make a bulk donation to the OLL (the non-profit org that oversees NaNo). She made a sort of snotty comment at me for it and I shrugged and stopped doing it. The plan was to give the cash to her and/or buy a few prizes to give away to people (instead, I bought some and I give things away at meetups -I- organize).

But then she went and made an account anyway and.....the very first thing she did was what she insisted she wasn't gonna do. And what she kept advertising she wanted money for was prizes / location reservations. But she got business cards. And told everyone she got them.

It's.....yeah.

I'm kind of debating getting a petition together to send around to 'recommend' that the person she has as her second be given control of the group instead. And lean into the suggestion as 'Hey, you keep making very negative comments lately that you aren't enjoying this, that you don't like doing this, that you want other people to do all the work so you can just sit back. So maybe A should run it instead.'

[reimesu]

@Auspice Clearly, what she wants is for everyone to beg her to keep control. Be aware that if someone recommends that A should run it instead, she is going to throw a shitfit.

[Tinuviel]

@reimesu said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice Clearly, what she wants is for everyone to beg her to keep control. Be aware that if someone recommends that A should run it instead, she is going to throw a shitfit.

I see you too have met my mother-in-law.

[Auspice]

@reimesu said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice Clearly, what she wants is for everyone to beg her to keep control. Be aware that if someone recommends that A should run it instead, she is going to throw a shitfit.

Oh, I'm sure. I am absolutely sure.

During steotch, another gal made it clear that next year, she was gonna run her own team. I've come to understand why.

[Aria]

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@reimesu said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice Clearly, what she wants is for everyone to beg her to keep control. Be aware that if someone recommends that A should run it instead, she is going to throw a shitfit.

Oh, I'm sure. I am absolutely sure.

During steotch, another gal made it clear that next year, she was gonna run her own team. I've come to understand why.

I was gonna say that I'm pretty sure this is the point where someone is supposed to shout "But with blackjack and hookers!", then make their own group.