Autism and The MU* Community

[faraday]

@il-volpe said in Autism and The MU* Community:

You might be amused by this barefoot running trend thing

Indeed! Now I mostly wear 'barefoot shoe' models (oxymoron non-withstanding) because they let me walk on my toes. I've always been uncomfortable wearing shoes, like I have straight-jackets on my feet. I never imagined that there was a strong correlation between toe-walking and autism. It seems so random.

I was also hyperlexic as a kid, so it's interesting how two so opposite symptoms (hyper and hypo) can be associated with the same condition.

Other random relatables:

@il-volpe said in Autism and The MU* Community:

MUSHing, where people's social-signals are right there in text, allows me to play at being far more socially adroit than I am.

This.

@kk said in Autism and The MU* Community:

One thing I will say is that autism often looks different in females than men.

I've read that due to social pressures, women tend to become better at masking than men do, so that tracks.

@grayson said in Autism and The MU* Community:

had to be corralled back into what was socially acceptable even though it made absolutely no sense (and still doesn't).

So so so many social things just have me being like; "But why...?"

@grayson said in Autism and The MU* Community:

It would been nice to have known a few decades ago,

Seriously, right?

[il-volpe]

@faraday I really like those foot-glove toe-shoe things called Vibram Fivefingers. They have two major disadvantages. One is that the best ones, with the thinnest most flexible sole, are deadly on ice; you melt the ice under your foot and hydroplane across the street. The other that everybody wants to talk about them.

Just being barefoot is best, but people are batshit about it, so I end up walking around with a pair of shoes slung over my shoulders so I can put them on to go indoors.

[Too Old For This]

@faraday Sooooooooo, to showcase just HOW different autism can be.... I can't stand to wear loose shoes. I have to have them laced up tightly, have to be able to feel them around my foot, or it bothers my brain. Its not uncomfortable physically but I have literally refused to go places because I couldn't get my shoes to feel right.

[faraday]

@too-old-for-this said in Autism and The MU* Community:

I couldn't get my shoes to feel right.

But this right here ^^ I think shows that it's not really all that different. We both get overloaded if our clothes don't feel right. We just have different preferences for what "right" is.

[Too Old For This]

@faraday Very fair! I've become super rigid on my clothing requirements the older I get. Only bootleg or wideleg jeans. But I can wear leggings just fine. Which is because I am that odd height that's kinda between 'sizes'... so petite is too short and regular is too long... but I can't stand to have a bunch of stiff denim bunched up at my ankles so the 'normal' cut for jeans drives me nuts. Don't have that issue with leggings, though I get a different issue with them in that the waist is always too high... because fashion says bigger = longer torso?

[kk]

I don't toe walk, but I stim. Stiming is to me something that can be soothing, calming or even joyful. But it is something that looks really crazy and odd to others. So I learned to mostly do it at home. When I was a child, I would stim out in public and that was something that marked me as being very different and not okay. While there there are many different ways to stim, I tend to bounce around hyperly in a sort of circle listening to the same song again and again or rapidly rub my legs over and over again. The rubbing I do when I am anxious to calm and the hoping is like a joyful rush of sensory fun.

One time I was in a happy mood and at a gathering with my then boyfriend and his friends and were outside and without even thinking about it or realizing what I was doing, I just starting hummin and hoping and bouncing about hyperly while flapping my hands and stuff. They all though I was crazy and I still feel embarassed of that to this day. I didn't know what I was doing until it had already been a few moments.

Then more recently while at work, I had this super super stressful day. I was in the middle of working 5 days straight (12--14 hour days straight), two nurses called off and everything was a mess. I go into the nursing station and start frantically rubbing my legs once I got things taken care of enough to have a moment to do that. It was soothing and I didn't even realizing I was doing it. And another nurse walks in and looks at me like wtf. I am dealing with feeling ashamed of that right now. I don't think there is anything wrong with stiming, but I know it looks werid to people and I try to keep it inside my house or at least in my own yard.

[Ganymede]

All this shit actually makes me happy for my little girl. Thank you.

[faraday]

@kk said in Autism and The MU* Community:

I don't think there is anything wrong with stiming, but I know it looks werid to people and I try to keep it inside my house or at least in my own yard.

Yeah, my hope is that this is something that education can combat over time, like how it's become more accepted for places like the zoo to offer sensory-friendly experiences.

FWIW I feel your pain on being embarrassed but also think we shouldn't have to be. So what if you rub your legs, or I rub my hands and bounce on my feet? It's not hurting anybody.

[il-volpe]

I do hand flaps, and tics. Not all the time, I can be very still. I do what my sister-in-law calls "the tyrannosaurus thing" which is holding one's hands high in front of one's chest. Once I walked in on my sister-in-law, my stepmother and my grandmother all talking about how they could tell when their husbands were getting sick because they'd do the tyrannosaurus thing before noticing themselves that they weren't feeling well. My grandmother looked at me and said, "It doesn't work on you, you do it all the time." I'm a lot more aware of it since then and do it less in public.

I'm pretty drawn to people who tic and stim, my instincts go "family!" and I want to share food with them and clobber any hyena that tries to nibble on them.

[Derp]

@il-volpe said in Autism and The MU* Community:

Born to Run

Is that the McDougall book?

[Macha]

Shoes have to be laced firmly, enough to feel the shoe close around my foot (I hate flats, because they just.. slide off my heel, and it make me crazy.

I hate skinny jeans. I need bootcut/flare, as a rule. But I love leggings.

I am somewhat busty, so I tend to size up my shirts. No one else in my world seems to understand why I want to be in something that can double as a nightshirt.

[il-volpe]

@derp Yes. https://www.worldcat.org/title/born-to-run-a-hidden-tribe-superathletes-and-the-greatest-race-the-world-has-never-seen/oclc/318360335&referer=brief_results

[il-volpe]

@macha Another autistic friend of mine uses only slip-on shoes because it takes too long to adjust laces so that lace-up shoes are exactly the same amount of pressure on each foot.

[Wretched]

Just chiming in as a fellow toe-walker whenever i am not forced into footwear.

[silverfox]

So many of the things you all have described in your experiences are things that we also see in our exceptionally gifted children, but who aren't/haven't been identified on the spectrum.

So speaking as an educator who wants to have the open mind: Where does the line get crossed for a behavior to be more spectrum than a quirk?

[GreenFlashlight]

@silverfox My completely amateur understanding of the diagnosis process is, it's not about the severity of any one behavior; it's about how many symptomatic behaviors a person displays.

[faraday]

@silverfox Like GreenFlashlight said, the diagnostic criteria is a bit complex. Gets into how many behaviors, how severe, did it start in childhood, etc. But in general with any mental challenge, I think the border between personality quirk and disorder comes when the behavior starts having significant negative impacts on your life.

So a kid stimming, walking on tiptoes, or liking clothes without tags isn't in and of itself a problem. But if that same kid is ALSO having a lot of trouble communicating with others, or is so bothered by their shoes being too tight that they can't function... that's the time to maybe look into further evaluation.

[silverfox]

@faraday

Huh.

I wish I could say this to a particular parent because this is legit. Just this morning they were describing how sometimes their kiddo has to put on several pairs of socks before they find one that feels right (thus leading them to be late to school), plus a lot of other things you guys described.

[Carma]

This post is deleted!

[il-volpe]

@silverfox said in Autism and The MU* Community:

Where does the line get crossed for a behavior to be more spectrum than a quirk?

Seemingly sarcastic, yet true: The line is where neurotypicals start to think it's weird and annoying.