When communication is too long to read ...

[Misadventure]

Shot in the dark post to see if anyone has experience with something similar.

Friend who is neurodivergent needs to communicate with a person.
Person is described as ND, but not sure if that's anything official.

Friend sends large info dumps by nature, but understands this isnt everyones cup of tea.

Person ignores messages over a certain length as boring. No matter how important the content might be. Think co-workers defining a task or similar.

Person must be able to be communicated with, they work in this kind of field. Yet, a bullet point list might be seen as too long and boring.

Information? Suggestions?

[Derp]

It's been my experience that breaking communications down into smaller bits is sometimes an easier way to do this, especially if it's done in writing. I have to do this for some of the people I work with.

For example, I'll send an e-mail that might say:

• Let's schedule a meeting to talk about the agenda for <thing>. Are you free at <X Time>?

And then send a follow-up e-mail that says:

• Let's make sure that we talk about <this other thing too>.

And then maybe one that says:

• Hey, can you make sure to do <this other thing> at some point?

Is it a pain in the ass? Yes. Should adults have to communicate like this? No. Should your coworker or whoever be trying to develop better coping mechanisms to deal with long-form communication about important topics? Absolutely.

But we do what we have to do to make our lives the least amount of hell possible, so if I have to send a million e-mials like a micromanager, then that's what I'm going to do.

[Ghost]

@Derp @Misadventure I think Derp has it. It's all about the formatting.

I'm not ND, but I could easily read anything in bulleted points, and even find the idea of reading code sometimes easier than reading specific people's text dumps.

Massive blocks of paragraphs hurt my eyes, especially without indentation, so try to keep paragraphs precise. Bullet points and using Header formats helps, too. I also tend to use the table of contents/headers features in gdocs/office to adjust the format to be easier to read.

Sadly, if it's a massive info-dump about proprietary game-related information, they're probably at the mercy of whoever collated the data to begin with.

[faraday]

@Misadventure Ask the person.

"I need to communicate this block of info to you - how can I do it in a way that you can effectively consume it?"

To be effective, ND accommodations need to be tailored. There is no 'one size fits all'.

[Ganymede]

@Misadventure said in When communication is too long to read ...:

Person ignores messages over a certain length as boring. No matter how important the content might be. Think co-workers defining a task or similar.

Person must be able to be communicated with, they work in this kind of field. Yet, a bullet point list might be seen as too long and boring.

Person sounds like an asshole to me.

If your particular neurodivergence makes it difficult, if not impossible, to read large amounts of text, then asking someone to trim it down seems to be the appropriate remedy. For example:

"Thank you for sending that message, but I am afraid there was too much in there for me to parse out. Can you succinctly sum up the situation so I can digest it and give you an appropriate response?"

Telling people that you're bored when reading what they have written is how an asshole would explain things.

"That was too long, so I was bored and didn't read it. Try again."

Also, I believe the party receiving the communication has the responsibility to ask for clarity.

[faraday]

@Ganymede said in When communication is too long to read ...:

Also, I believe the party receiving the communication has the responsibility to ask for clarity.

I agree that if the person literally said "that looks boring; I'm just gonna ignore it" for work-critical communications, they're acting like a jerk.

In general, though, I would implore giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to approach the situation in a compassionate and constructive way.

Of course in an ideal world they "should" take the initiative of solving the problem themselves, but there can be many factors - shame, anxious avoidance, fear of reprisal, overwhelm paralysis, just to name a few - that may make it difficult for someone to reach out for help. Trying to meet them halfway can make all the difference.

And honestly - lots of people, even NT folks - tune out when they see a big wall o' text. Exploring different communication methods (a summary? a wiki or project board? a conversation?) may benefit more than just that one person.

[Misadventure]

Alrighty, thanks for the replies.

[Ganymede]

@faraday said in When communication is too long to read ...:

Of course in an ideal world they "should" take the initiative of solving the problem themselves, but there can be many factors - shame, anxious avoidance, fear of reprisal, overwhelm paralysis, just to name a few - that may make it difficult for someone to reach out for help.

As the parent of a ND person, I do remind them that others won't know their needs unless they speak up. Thankfully, they do. Sometimes, in inappropriate loud ways, but, hey, they are young, and they've got some time.

[faraday]

@Ganymede said in When communication is too long to read ...:

As the parent of a ND person, I do remind them that others won't know their needs unless they speak up. Thankfully, they do. Sometimes, in inappropriate loud ways, but, hey, they are young, and they've got some time.

That's awesome, sincerely. But I am also the parent of a ND person who isn't that adept (as you say - they are young, they've got some time), and I know other ND people who are stuck by one or more of the reasons I mentioned before. So I still implore folks to approach the situation in a compassionate and constructive way instead of rushing to judgment.