Turns out it can be super fun to try to make having sex while playing video games a game itself.
I was playing Halo with a friend of mine who totally ghosted for 2 or 3 missions. When I demanded an explanation, he provided one:
Well, my girl was over, and she told me that she would start sucking me off if I killed someone, and stop if I died. So I sniped the first chump I found, and hid in the shadows until she was done.
Best explanation ever.