So you have a hot button.
You assume something, and won't change that assumption if told otherwise?
That's on you, not the English language.
It very much is the English language.
"I'm sorry that you took it that way" is very obviously blame-shifting. Parse the fucking grammar, dude: It starts with "I'm sorry", sure, but then the subject shifts: to "you". After that it's all on "you". This is almost canonical blame-shifting that is so obvious that I suspect my former ESL students would spot it, and they're fucking incompetents grammatically speaking!
If you want to actually express regret for a reaction, there's a myriad of non-blame-shifting ways to do it. For example:
- I'm sorry, I didn't intend to be offensive.
- I'm sorry, I didn't realize this would offend.
- I'm sorry, my wording was clumsy.
- I'm sorry, I probably didn't word that right.
I'm sure I'm coming across as condescending right now. I'm sorry you can't understand fundamental human interaction.