Oct 28, 2016, 9:10 AM

@Misadventure said in Harassment in VR, there's something we can likely learn from this.:

Assuming any given set of actions has at least one context where it is acceptable or better, who is responsible for making sure those contexts are clear? Who should be teaching these limiters? Is every human innately capable of walking these lines for everyone?

I'm sure we're all familiar with the expression 'It takes a village to raise a child' and what it comes down to is that it's everyone in the communities responsibility to teach what is and isn't appropriate behaviour. People will act in the ways which are condoned by the community they're participating in.

@ixokai said in Harassment in VR, there's something we can likely learn from this.

And ignore it more when more things that made them uncomfortable happened. More pages, more comments, ignore. Ignore was how the someone expressed 'no' in this situation.

As @surreality points out. The option of talking with the person in question and explaining why their behaviour isn't ok goes a long way. There's no need to make any threats, those tend to be implicit. If the person still persists in the behaviour after being told it's not ok, then you have all the justification you need for removing them from your game.

Most of the time the 'creeper' isn't aware that their pages are being received so poorly, because noone ever talked to them about it and the conversation will make them chill out. In the cases they don't, it's easy enough to show them the door. There's no need to be particularly hard-ass about it either with talks about hammering or flattering. What's most successful in my experience is just telling them you believe it's better for both them and the game if they'd seek their luck elsewhere.

@mietze said in Harassment in VR, there's something we can likely learn from this.:

I really don't think it is much of a stretch to expect that people ask before making sexual or physical contact with someone. Do you really need someone to say don't touch my tits to you every time you meet someone with tits in order to not do it? If you fuck someone on the first date does it give you the expectation that you will fuck everyone on your first date even if they did not give indications they wanted to, and kosher to blame it on "well I went on a date once and we fucked, so I just assumed I got to do that with everyone?" Gimme a break.

In my experience it's rather rare for verbal consent to be given for sexual or physical contact. Usually it's signalled through some form of body language to mixed success. You hold our your hand before a handshake, you hold your arms wide before a hug, you bow before a sparring bout etc.

There are however people arranging events where each and every physical contact has to be verbally consented to and it's kind of neat.
http://www.cuddleparty.com

Before you arrive

Arrive on time.
No drugs or alcohol, period.

After you get there

Pajamas stay on the whole time.
You don’t have to cuddle anyone you don’t want to.
Ask permission and get a verbal yes before touching anyone.
If you’re a yes to a request, say YES. If you’re a no, say NO.
If you’re a maybe, say NO.
You are encouraged to change your mind.
Respect your relationship agreements and communicate with your partner.
Come get the Cuddle Assistant or me if there is a concern, problem, or if you need assistance with ANYTHING.
Tears and laughter are both welcome.
Respect people’s privacy when sharing about Cuddle Parties.
Keep the cuddle space tidy.