Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff

  • Pitcrew

    Ketoburger deliciousness. The 'Bun' is literally a shredded Mozzarella sheet baked on parchment paper.
    3 kinds of cheese, mushrooms, bacon.

    alt text

  • @Wretched

    Holy shitballs that looks good.

  • @Wretched

    You are eating on your fucking drawing tablet? What is wrong with you!

    Wait, what's not wrong with you?!

  • Pitcrew

    @Thenomain I mean, we could start a list. But yes thats my NEW drawing tablet, but it was only used for taking the picture and trying to dodge Lily... which was only partially successful.

  • Pitcrew


    I do so love Boggle the owl.

  • Pitcrew

    I am learning to say fuck you to anyone who wants to give me shit or side-eye for going to therapy. so... fuck those people. I think a lot of people could feel better if they had time to just unload about whatever now and then.

  • Pitcrew

    @Macha I start Therapy in 8 days. Wheee! And I know plenty that do therapy, no shame, all the awesome.

    People that give you shit for taking care of your mental health are morons, it'd be like making fun of someone going to the doctor for burns or a broken leg or because they were stabbed. Oh you need a prosthetic? You need bandaids? You need help? What a loser! It's the same idiots who will make fun of a fat person at the fucking gym. Flip em off, and continue doing what is good for you.

  • There's work being done on the fire system.
    It's causing alarms to go off in the sec office.

    I think my head might just explode before the night is over.

    I have a provision on file that I can leave if necessary for migraines but we're also woefully short-handed (someone high up pulled one of those 'let's cut a bunch of people to save money and then complain constantly about things not getting done' moves) so I'd feel bad if I leave.

    Just three more hours and I can crawl under the blankets in a dark room..

  • Pitcrew

    @Wretched I finally have an appointment to look at medicine options, so I may be able to finally be on something for anxiety or ADHD. I don't really want anything for depression, since it can make you less receptive to your own brains joy juice, but the other two possibilities super excite me .

  • Pitcrew

    @Macha Awesome! My appointments are wednesday, am looking forward to it.

  • Pitcrew

    I started prozac yesterday with mixed results. Lastngiht i cried because i was afraid my wife would love one cat less now that we got a new one. But today was a darn good relaxed day with few traces of anxiety; and while I know that it takes time to see the full effects of mental health meds, I am cautiously optimistic. (lets hope theres no 'Wait, nevermind followup in a month)

  • Pitcrew

    @Wretched I wish you the best with it - meds changed my life, in all seriousness. You will be emotionally wonky while your brain chemistry adjusts, but stick with it, be patient, and if for some reason it doesn't work out, remember that everyone's neurochemicals are different,. Your doctor will help you adjust until it's right for you!

  • @Wretched @Cupcake Adding in my support/agreement.

    I had my first diagnosis/prescription in my mid-teens and it has taken a long, long time to find the right chemical and therapeutic balance that works for me.

    If prozac doesn't work, don't get discouraged. Talk to your shrink. It may not be the right prescription for you. "Depression" is a pretty broad diagnosis that's comorbid with many, many other mental (and even physical) health conditions and it can take a while to figure out your exact causes/needs.

    Also if you have any reservations about your psychiatrist/therapist, if you feel like they don't listen to you, etc., know that they are also not your only option. There are many others in the profession and it's worth finding a person you feel totally comfortable with, who specialises in what you're going through. (Google is your friend.) You can be as specific as you like and no one can tell you you're wrong about your needs. For example, a trans friend of mine found working with another trans person made a world of difference. For me, it took a lot of experimentation to figure out which type of therapy I needed (not the one-size-fits-all CBT) and I've realised I'm more comfortable with other women. Explore your options. Don't settle.

    P.S.: Nice cat.

  • Pitcrew

    It has been really hard to limit my online commitments to a reasonable level and how much I'm doing in general, especially as I started to finally, finally feel better. I started to bite off a little more, but stayed careful. It's good, because I basically just relapsed. ugh.

    On the bright side, I now have a cardiologist who is willing to say "I don't know, but I'll find out" instead of blowing smoke up my ass. It's actually comforting. I know that none of them know, thanks, I wish that previous doctors weren't so scared of looking foolish that they couldn't admit it enough to help me.

  • Pitcrew

    There has not been a day this week that I have not been to the doctor, lab, or radiology. Yes, including today, and both days last weekend, too. I have somehow managed to beg enough to not go go the hospital (observation, it never helps, they never observe what they hope to).

    I fucking hate this.

  • Pitcrew

    @Sunny I'm so sorry. That is such a stressful place to be. Lots of love to you. :(

  • Admin

    I switched from a powerlifting gym to a gym chain recently since it made more sense for my life; I go before work anyway and there's a club nearby, so I skip rush hour altogether plus when I visit people outside the city I don't need to worry about where to exercise. Plus it's a bit cheaper.

    However the people who go to Goodlife are animals. No one reracks their freakin' weights but just leave them right on the barbells, and if they take dumbbells out they are just left behind when they are done. What the hell.

    On the gross side I've had the dubious pleasure to become reacquainted with the sight of old men airblowing their wrinkly balls in the changing rooms. I had forgotten about that daily sight from the last time I had a chain gym membership but now I am having PTSD flashbacks every time I go to change. Whyyyy.

  • Pitcrew

    I've spent the last 24 hours with a bout of nausea that I go in waves between wanting to throw up or break down sobbing.

    I've already made an appointment with my counselor, but it may be a day or two until I can see her. In the meantime, I feel like I'm falling apart. I just need someone to talk to. I don't want or need answers, just someone to listen until I can get into my appointment.

    The community is not my therapist, I know that. That's why I have one. But the one time when I can't see her right away and I'm going through something kind of messed up, all I can do is my best to not just go to pieces.

    I don't know what to do.

  • Pitcrew


    1-800-273-8255. That's the national lifeline. The director says that only around a third of callers are considering self harm. All the others are looking for emotional support or information on nearby resources. If you're feeling hopeless or like things are falling apart, give them a call.

  • Third interview was yesterday. I think it went well. It was definitely more of a grilling session than the culture fit I'd hoped it'd be.

    But, for once, I was able to look people in the eye as I answered questions. I'm glad to be past that anxiety issue at least.

    Unfortunately the woman doing the hiring is now traveling for a few days so I just get to stress and wait.

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