Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.

surreality · May 13, 2019, 2:45 AM

@Sparks That is the reason I have been desperately seeking a way to hook up that old 30inch monitor, like I have room for my desk on it or something. (Bwahaha I so don't but I'll make it fit!!!) I took damned good care of it for a reason, and yet, apparently there is some adapter or another that simply does not exist. (It has stumped everyone who has been asked.) I could hook it up to the 2010, and have the connectors for that, but this poor damned thing is on its last legs and I suspect putting that strain on it would cause it to set itself on fire at this point.

The iMac Pro glare is not bad. I dunno if it's the angle, if they finally managed a decent coating, or what, but it... actually isn't bad, despite not being matte. It's better than the 2010 in that regard, that much is certain.

Lisse24 · May 13, 2019, 1:34 PM

@silverfox said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Arkandel

It's really common for every woman to be wished Happy Mother's Day.

Here's one bullshit example: https://www.popsugar.com/family/Why-You-Should-Celebrate-All-Women-Mother-Day-44733416

We can respect women and everything we do.

It doesn't need to be on Mother's day.

I especially hate the 'we're all mothers in some way.'

You know what? I'm not going to have kids and I'm OK with that. My value and worth are not determined by how much or how little of a 'mother' I am. Regardless of my ability or choice to have children, I have worth because I am. You do not need to bend over backwards to put a label on me to provide me that worth. My value exists without it.

Auspice · May 13, 2019, 1:39 PM

I dunno, I'm fine with it.

Back when I was still married, mother's day 'well wishes' were very, very 'biological mother' only and I was a stepmom. And my mother-in-law ground it in even more (she resented the fact that we hadn't given her kids). So mother's day was wildly depressing for me (I wanted kids, but I was dealing with infertility).

So seeing the constant deluge of 'IF YOU HAVE KIDS BIOLOGICALLY, HOORAY FOR YOU!' was incredibly depressing.

I understand where y'all are coming from, but as someone who was a stepmother for roughly 6 years and was surrounded by media that was very poignant in saying 'you're not a REAL mom, ha ha ha' ... I am totally OK with the attempt that has been made to shift language/advertising to be more welcoming.

Lisse24 · May 13, 2019, 1:45 PM

@Auspice I think it's great that language is being expanded to include step moms & foster moms & adopted moms and all kinds of moms!

I'm not OK with messaging that has to try and find a way to squeeze motherhood on you because without it, somehow you just aren't a complete woman. You can have inclusive messaging without sending the message that it's something all women need, and really, that's all I'm asking for.

Auspice · May 13, 2019, 1:50 PM

@Lisse24 said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice I think it's great that language is being expanded to include step moms & foster moms & adopted moms and all kinds of moms!

I'm not OK with messaging that has to try and find a way to squeeze motherhood on you because without it, somehow you just aren't a complete woman. You can have inclusive messaging without sending the message that it's something all women need, and really, that's all I'm asking for.

My guess is they're trying to figure out a way to be inclusive (the gender issue) and haven't gotten there yet. It's a growing pain thing.

So just like they, only a handful of years ago (I've only been divorced 4 years) were still pushing the 'This day is for women who remember holding their newborn!' narrative, I imagine in another year or two... they'll have it sussed out for how to present language for all women who are mothers in an inclusive way.

The media sucks at being inclusive in advertising. We know this. I'm just glad they finally got over, after years and years and years, only celebrating women who pooped out a kid.

Ganymede · May 13, 2019, 3:12 PM

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

The media sucks at being inclusive in advertising. We know this. I'm just glad they finally got over, after years and years and years, only celebrating women who pooped out a kid.

It’s not that the media sucks at advertising; it’s that the average American sucks at comprehension. So if the media wants to hock wares, it must do so by broadcasting the most simple message possible.

Sparks · May 13, 2019, 4:06 PM

Impending lack of ADHD meds.

Today is the last day of my dosage trials; after today, I am back to ADHD brain full time until my next meeting with the doctor and (hopefully) a long-term prescription for one of the meds we tried. Thankfully, I have that meeting on Thursday, which—assuming everything goes smoothly—means picking up a prescription on Friday and being able to use the meds again after that.

But having gotten used to this whole "I can focus without using a handful of coping mechanisms at a time" and "gosh, I'm actually able to understand and track the passage of time!" business over the past two weeks, I am not looking forward to those interim days much.

Rinel · May 13, 2019, 4:24 PM

Minor peeve: I'm still not over the demise of 16:10 monitors. SO MUCH VERTICAL REAL ESTATE, LOST.

Major peeve: halfway through laser hair removal. Zero noticable reduction in hairs. And it's not just me who says as much. Gonna go see if I can meet with the doctor to discuss options. I don't have money to spend on shit that doesn't work.

Major major peeve: I can't use minoxidil.

Derp · May 13, 2019, 5:42 PM

@Rinel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Minor peeve: I'm still not over the demise of 16:10 monitors. SO MUCH VERTICAL REAL ESTATE, LOST.

Major peeve: halfway through laser hair removal. Zero noticable reduction in hairs. And it's not just me who says as much. Gonna go see if I can meet with the doctor to discuss options. I don't have money to spend on shit that doesn't work.

Major major peeve: I can't use minoxidil.

Feel those feels.

silverfox · May 13, 2019, 6:29 PM

@Auspice

It's seems pretty clear to me. Are you the primary caretaker of a child or were you at one time the primary caretaker of a child? Yay! You are/were a mother.

You've never been the primary caretaker of a child?

You're not a mother.

I'm not a mother. I don't have a WAY to be a mother right now. I really want them to stop grinding it into my face. I know it's innocent and that there isn't malice behind it (unlike, clearly, your mother-in-law who in this one instance was a terrible person) but it hurts like someone has punched me in the stomach.

Tinuviel · May 13, 2019, 6:33 PM

@silverfox said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

Are you the primary caretaker of a child or were you at one time the primary caretaker of a child? Yay! You are/were a mother.

This is news.

surreality · May 13, 2019, 6:45 PM

@Rinel I may request to pick your brain about the laser thing later in the year if you're amenable. There are some reasons I may want to look into it also, and money is... yeah, exactly. I alternately hear I'm 'totally the best!' candidate and 'totally the worst!' and that's nnngh, but on top it's like... yeah, that shit sounds like it hurts. But so does hair so fucking coarse it very literally cuts my 'zomg fabric touched me I'mma flip out now!' skin. So... augh.

Ghost · May 13, 2019, 6:55 PM

When I asked my tattoo artist if his number was still xxx.xxxx...

"Fuck, I don't know. Nobody remembers actual phone numbers, anymore. Let me double check..."

And I thought: "Hah, guy doesn't remember his number..."

Then I thought about it. I have maybe 3 numbers memorized these days. The rest are listed in my phone/cloud storage under names.

He's right. Nobody memorizes phone numbers anymore.

surreality · May 13, 2019, 6:57 PM

@Ghost I couldn't tell you my mobile phone number if there was a gun to my head.

Ghost · May 13, 2019, 7:00 PM

@surreality said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Ghost I couldn't tell you my mobile phone number if there was a gun to my head.

How weird is that?

Memorizing phone numbers was one of my core social life support skills between 1986 and 2004.

It just kind of clicked in me that without my phone I'm not entirely sure I could call my mom or dad in a crisis.

ETA: Say my apartment burned down and my phone was inside. Someone might ask: "Do you have anyone you could call"?

Answer: "Sure, can you give me a ride to the verizon store so I can pickup a replacement cell and download my contacts from cloud storage...?"

Arkandel · May 13, 2019, 7:08 PM

@Ghost Hell, I don't even like picking up the phone if some barbarian actually calls me on it. Ugh. Just text or e-mail me like a normal person.

Thenomain · May 13, 2019, 7:10 PM

@Ghost said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

He's right. Nobody memorizes phone numbers anymore.

Remember when all those numbers you didn't know where in this giant book, and if you wanted to call someone whose number you didn't commit to memory or write in a smaller book you had to remember where you put the book, possibly remember their street address, remember to carry the book near to the phone so that you could dial the phone, wait for it to dial and then maybe, maybe you could get done what you were trying to do?

I thought about this procedure and I wasn't even done remembering it before part of my brain said, "This is taking too long!" That's right, not only did I lose the skill to something that is much more convenient, but I've lost the ability to be patient enough to remember what it was like. And it's not like looking up numbers in the phonebook was horrible; you'd chat with family or listen to the TV while doing it.

I swear that we've given ourselves ADD.

And if you dialed the wrong number, the exchange would be fairly pleasant. "Oops, wrong number." / "That's okay." / "Thanks, bye." I once recently had someone call me to chew me out for dialing the wrong number, and it wasn't me. He dialed the wrong number to complain! (More likely it was a faked called ID, but the idea that someone yells at anyone for wrong numbers makes me sigh.)

Ghost · May 13, 2019, 7:13 PM

@Arkandel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Ghost Hell, I don't even like picking up the phone if some barbarian actually calls me on it. Ugh. Just text or e-mail me like a normal person.

Same. 90% of the time my phone rings it's scamming. 5% is work and 5% is my mom or kid wanting to talk about drama (I still don't want to pick up on these).

One of the least satisfying aspects of my life right now is that I actually have to pay attention to whether or not my phone is ringing, because if it's an on-call IT call and I dont answer my boss will get mad. Sucky part? If I dont recognize the number, I still have to pick it up because it might be that coworker A gave my number to a coworker who hasnt called me before.

Meh.

Rinel · May 13, 2019, 7:19 PM

@surreality

Yeah no worries.

surreality · May 13, 2019, 7:21 PM

@Ghost My folks still have a landline, as do I. Those numbers I know, since... my folks' number is the one I grew up with as a kid. Mine was 'my maternal grandmother's number' since I was 7 or 8. Mine is also especially mnemonic; it's a multiplication table going down the line for the second half. I meeeeeeaaaaannnnn...

We still use the landlines more, because I am pretty much always here and it's still hit or miss if I even remember to take the mobile with me unless we're going to be out a while. I use it for messages and such more than calls. The only people who have the number are a few gaming friends, my huband, and my folks. Anyone and anything else is spam or people calling (so insistently forever) for the person who had the number previously. (Casey, your friends are assholes who love you a whole lot. Or you owe them lots of money. I don't care which.)