Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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It wouldn't be dramatic of you, but depending on how close you are to her, it could just play into what I will assume is his "woe is me" play where he has to deal with his crazy ex and no one understands him blah blah but now SHE sees what he has to deal with and hey, drinks on him?
Speaking from someone who has been there, done that, got the "I should have listened to you" speech after he did turn out to be the total abusive asshole I tried to warn them away from.
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@Auspice If you do, be prepared for her to tell him everything you said and then the resulting drama on FB. No good deed goes unpunished.
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@quinn said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
It wouldn't be dramatic of you, but depending on how close you are to her, it could just play into what I will assume is his "woe is me" play where he has to deal with his crazy ex and no one understands him blah blah but now SHE sees what he has to deal with and hey, drinks on him?
Speaking from someone who has been there, done that, got the "I should have listened to you" speech after he did turn out to be the total abusive asshole I tried to warn them away from.
And this is what I worry about, except it won't just be an 'I should have listened to you speech' right away.
She is in a very, very fragile place, which is why I'm so anxious for her. She went through worse than I did because her ex wasn't just emotionally abusive, but physically, too.
My ex could undo all the work she has done and been doing to recover and put herself back together. And not only am I far away, but so is her best friend (they recently moved to Florida). Who I am sure is also anxious (because she lived a few blocks from me and was someone whose house I would go to when I needed to escape) about it.
@tnp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@Auspice If you do, be prepared for her to tell him everything you said and then the resulting drama on FB. No good deed goes unpunished.
I know this all too well.
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You can say "The situations and behaviors you describe as damaging? That's how I describe the worst behaviors of my ex. Please be wary."
Also: if he starts wanting you to account for your change from purchases, run.
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@Auspice Your other option is to post openly about the behaviors you survived and got away from. Maybe say you were inspired by your friend's struggle (hers) and how well she's doing - how strong she is for getting out of that situation, and you draw a lot of parallels. Talk openly about the behaviors of your ex, and how it started. Because it's never right at first, it's the sympathy and empathy and false, manipulative bullshit that start so easily and turn into that.
And how you're never going back, and you're proud of her for making that break. Sometimes our friends don't need us to tell them what not to do, they need us to tell them what they've done right. And how proud we are of them. It is a less confrontational way to call him out while building her up (which it sounds like she both needs and deserves).
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If she is your friend, she probably knows what you went through and would avoid him. If she does otherwise, she’s probably not your friend.
All God’s children — they have to die.
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@rook said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Facebook was built ON, BY, and FOR drama. Don't ever think that it is intended for any other use.
Memes.
I mean that's all I use Facebook for, anymore. >.>
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No, Amazon, 1 Business-Day Delivery Is Not December Twenty-Fucking-Seventh!
“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos -
@thenomain I feel your pain, but, there is no delivery service in the world that can handle 1 day shipping during this particular holiday in the united states.
That's why Santa Claus...
***=NSFC content***
click to show -
@lithium said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@thenomain I feel your pain, but, there is no delivery service in the world that can handle 1 day shipping during this particular holiday in the united states.
That's why Santa Claus...
***=NSFC content***
click to show@Lithium is a poopoohead.
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Losing your job the week before Christmas - and them telling you they want you to work until NYE. Having your friend sexting the dude she knows you're building a thing with, and trying to lie to you about it. Same guy being a jerk who can't handle a phone call because he's so stressed out.. when you need someone to talk to about losing your job.
Fuck it.
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@macha said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Losing your job the week before Christmas - and them telling you they want you to work until NYE. Having your friend sexting the dude she knows you're building a thing with, and trying to lie to you about it. Same guy being a jerk who can't handle a phone call because he's so stressed out.. when you need someone to talk to about losing your job.
Fuck it.
That sucks majorly.I was coming here to bitch that we'd be spending Christmas in the hospital this year, but yours sounds like it might score a bit higher on the bullshit-o-meter.
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@macha Those are neither friends nor people to build something with. Putting up with their BS just makes them think its normal behavior.
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I did a very very dumb thing on Sunday. I was having a bad night and in a bad mood. I then burnt my hand. In a fit of losing my cool, I punched the wall. Except I wasn't wearing my glasses. Which meant no depth perception.
Now, I know how to punch.
But lack of depth perception meant I fucked up.
The entirety of said punch landed on my pinky knuckle.I am pretty much positive I broke something. A very small something. Like, 'stress microfracture' small.
I've been largely ignoring it as a result (since it's my own, dumb 'yes you're all welcome to point and laugh at me' fault), but the bad weather in Austin today and having to catch the kitten and the pile of things he knocked off a shelf this morning has me in a bundle of cranky pain today.
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This is why you need to punch things softer than walls and more resilient than kittens.
Or, you know, do what I do: makiwara set up in the basement.
Racism isn't Tinkerbell. It doesn't need you to believe in it for it to exist.
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@derp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
This is why you need to punch things softer than walls and more resilient than kittens.
Or, you know, do what I do: makiwara set up in the basement.
What basement?
I would like to (goes back to the whole 'being poor' thing, sadly) get into some form of martial arts class tho.
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
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@auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@derp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
This is why you need to punch things softer than walls and more resilient than kittens.
Or, you know, do what I do: makiwara set up in the basement.
What basement?
I would like to (goes back to the whole 'being poor' thing, sadly) get into some form of martial arts class tho.
I took some Aikido recently. It's a biiig change from both the Okinawan martial arts and the Wing Chun I studied previously. I recommend trying out a few, to see where your interests and strengths lie.
Racism isn't Tinkerbell. It doesn't need you to believe in it for it to exist.
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@derp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@derp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
This is why you need to punch things softer than walls and more resilient than kittens.
Or, you know, do what I do: makiwara set up in the basement.
What basement?
I would like to (goes back to the whole 'being poor' thing, sadly) get into some form of martial arts class tho.
I took some Aikido recently. It's a biiig change from both the Okinawan martial arts and the Wing Chun I studied previously. I recommend trying out a few, to see where your interests and strengths lie.
As a teenager, I did a few ju jitsu classes. I also got dragged to some karate classes by my mother (who wanted someone to go with). I much preferred the former. Having a whole set of moves to learn from (vs. 'building blocks') was much more my style. I liked having the entire series to work with because it just meshed better with how I operate and learn.
I've never had a chance to try any others since.
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I'm doing a tech screening for a possible job.
One of the questions:
'Describe to a non-technical friend how SSL works.''No. Just no. Don't do this to yourself or anyone else' should be a valid answer.
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
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@auspice "Okay so you know how the internet is just tubes, right? Well SSL is the magic that makes the tubes safe. Until someone finds a twenty-year-old bug in it."
