Mar 12, 2021, 4:27 PM
Given the economy right now, telling a child that they are lucky for having a stable home and amenities is not far from the truth.
Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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@derp WTF? Is she off bothering them now, because she's not getting what she wants as a reaction from you?
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Please be safe.
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@derp Oh!
"You little bastards never gave me my due for being the one who decided to bring you into the world. This is all your fault!" ??
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@macha said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@derp Oh!
"You little bastards never gave me my due for being the one who decided to bring you into the world. This is all your fault!" ??
More like:
"Don't you know how much I sacrificed for you the two or three weeks a year that I had you? Do you know how many bar concerts I gave up? Do you know how much it takes to feed three kids for two weeks?"
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@derp So...
So could you FEEL me roll my eyes? I did it so hard, it hurt.
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Okay. So. Serious talk.
ANY parent who EVER tries to guilt-trip a child (grown or not) for the 'sacrifices' they made for that child? NOT a real parent. That is someone who was expecting to get a lifetime YesMan/Indentured Servant/Gofer/Flunky. If you EVER hear anything about how hard it was to 'sacrifice' their social life or the economic hardships they faced in feeding/clothing/putting a roof over your head... that is not a parent, that is an entitled incubator. Walk away and don't look back.
No real parent will EVER make their child feel guilty for THEIR decision to have a child. I had my first child at 16, I literally did not get a choice in the matter, and I still will never make my son feel guilty for having been born. It was not his decision, he did not get to choose who he was born to. Even though I didn't get to choose whether or not I wanted to have a baby, I chose to have sex with someone and it resulted in a child. Not his fault. He will never hear that it was his fault I couldn't go to parties or concerts or that I spent my 20s working dead end jobs just to make ends meet. Because it is Not His Fault.
And it's not yours either. Seriously, that person does not care about you as a person and you owe them nothing. Walk away, delete them from your life, they are worse than dead weight because they are actively trying to hold you back. I won't say that it's easy or simple, it won't be. It never is. But you are worth more than what they will ever give.
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@too-old-for-this I am sorry you did not have a choice, when you were 16.
I am grateful you now have a choice, and you decided to be AWESOME to your kid.
I never stopped hearing about how 'lucky' I was to have somewhere to live, something to eat, etc. How I should be 'glad' I wasn't being 'worked as hard' as people my dad knew growing up. (No kidding, my dad used to tell me I was lucky we had a washer and dryer in the house, as my bio mom at the same age - had to take her stuff to the laundromat).
Irony? My parents used money from my bank account at times, to pay for their cars, the mortgage, etc. Yes, the social security checks from when my bio mom died were meant to take care of me. But they'd put what was left every so often in a bank account, and then crack into it later for things... while spending plenty o' money on cigarettes, and drinking, etc.
Same people that wouldn't fill out financial aid paperwork for me so I could apply to college. Because I didn't 'deserve' to go to college, I hadn't 'applied' myself enough in school. (Hello, untreated ADHD)
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Given the economy right now, telling a child that they are lucky for having a stable home and amenities is not far from the truth.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Given the economy right now, telling a child that they are lucky for having a stable home and amenities is not far from the truth.
Presentation matters.
I tell my kids often how fortunate we are compared to some families, as a way of teaching gratitude. Not gratitude to me specifically, but just gratitude for our blessings.
I think that's very different from guilt tripping your kids into thinking they owe you something for raising them.
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@faraday said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
I think that's very different from guilt tripping your kids into thinking they owe you something for raising them.
Well, sure. I'm Catholic.
But, as I said elsewhere, context is important. I tell my kids how lucky they are and I also tell them that if any of their friends don't come to school with a lunch that they are allowed to share theirs and if they do they will get double dessert at home. I tell them how they should share with others because they are so fortunate.
Of course, I also tell them that I can and will take it all away if they end up being little shits.
As far as I'm concerned, I would never guilt-trip my kids. Why the fuck would I do that? It is my job to raise them to be independent, productive members of society. And once they are out of the house and on their own, then I can enter another phase of my life. Guilt-tripping requires connection, and connection requires contact.
On a side note, on parenting, Denzel got robbed.
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@ganymede
I now want to see that movie. -
@macha said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
I now want to see that movie.
Viola Davis won that year for a reason. Goddamn woman out-Denzel-ed Denzel.
I have seen Fences on stage. It is wonderful and painful. On stage, it is grim and nightmarish on a stark black set. And let me tell you, when the audience is packed with people -- black Americans -- who grew up with fathers like that, you damn well feel their pain and anguish.
Grown men in tears; grown women pointing and yelling.
No one can damn well watch any of that without telling me Denzel got fucking robbed. (Watch the video at around the 1:50 mark to see the man's thoughts on losing to Casey Affleck.)
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I'm looking into apartments, right? And I come across an apartment complex that says: "Get 15,000 Dasmen rewards when you move in! Great bonus!"
What is Dasmen rewards??
..."we'll renovate your apartment if you earn reward points!".
This is some bullshit. WTF.
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@cobalt ...that is some of the dumbest shit I've ever seen. even worse was some of the point prices for dumb shit.
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If it's a system I've used in a classroom to reward attendance and participation, it probably shouldn't be used by and for an actual adult.
He/Him
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Me Yesterday: It's good that I'm getting my second dose of the Covid vaccine. I hope everyone get theirs soon.
Me Today: I'm literally dying. I'm laying on my couch literally dying. screams overdramatically
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@macha said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@cobalt ...that is some of the dumbest shit I've ever seen. even worse was some of the point prices for dumb shit.
Amazon Kindle100,000 Points Needed
Modern e-reader featuring a touchscreen display and Wi-fi.
Amazon Fire Tablet47,000 Points Needed
Modern 8” tablet with an HD display and Alexa....what?
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@tinuviel My boss has offered uys a 'Pizza Party' if we sell more of our promotional signup bs.
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@wretched We get stuff like this offered to us on occasion too. For meeting/exceeding a specific metric or wevs. And I never understand why they think its going to work. Like... guys. Have you seen the foods we bring in for our team potlucks? And you think we're going to squeal and jump around over the shitty pizza you guys buy? I have a teammate who literally has a baked goods side hustle because she loves to bake. My team gets the BEST party foods. You think your 'pizza party' is gonna impress me? My teammate made me a whole ass cheesecake with strawberry topping. Fuck your pizza.