@arkandel said in Let's talk about TS.:
@ganymede said in Let's talk about TS.:
For you, this may be the case, but it's not the same for everyone. Hence, the part where I said that you should set up clear boundaries and then expectations.
This takes all of 5 minutes, and saves you a whole lot of later stress, presuming your partner isn't lying. Then you have a difference issue entirely.
I suspect you're right. It's just tricky to start a conversation like "Hey, so just because my character is banging yours it doesn't mean other characters of mine won't bang other people" without feeling like I'm basically insulting the other person.
I mean, again, this is an issue which I feel is their problem, not yours.
I've never made it a point to tell anyone that TS doesn't make me their virtual property. That to me does seem like a given. And if to them it isn't a given, I would expect it to be their responsibility to bring it up. If they don't, they don't have a right to get mad at me afterwards when they realise that this is totally not my kink.
@sunny said in Let's talk about TS.:
When I say that I want to not talk about me or the person behind the other character (save to avoid things that might upset/trigger/whatnot the other person), that should be respected.
Dear lord, thank you for saying it.
Perhaps this makes me antisocial, but I do not log on to pretendy-fun-times to talk about RL. Nothing makes me run for the hills faster than a RP partner who feels that our RP entitles them to be all up in my OOC business. Especially after I've made it a point to politely inform them that I'm not here for that.
To everyone who misunderstood @sunny: this is my squick. My boundary. My expectation to keep things IC as much as possible.
Approaching TS (along with other kinds of RP that I know can make people uncomfortable, like gore/torture) I always make it a point to talk to people about their limits, reassure them that we can fade/stop/dial-down at any time if they become uncomfortable, and so on. When asked about my limits, my usual response is that I'm mostly OK with anything [insert exceptions], but would like to keep it IC as much as possible.
That should be respected. That is my boundary. I've had people lose their shit about me refusing to talk at length about my character, my life, and so on. In fact I once told someone that I have anxiety issues, which they were exacerbating, and that I want to stop talking to them – to which they responded by getting increasingly angry that I was 'ignoring them' and 'refusing to communicate'.
All I wanted from this person was to be left alone. And when I've stated that, it should not be a debating point.