@testament The other thing is that if someone was a real jerk to you, and they did not learn that that's not acceptable, they usually will be a jerk to someone else and others will eventually usually connect the dots. It might be kinda late for you sometimes, but it often does eventually come out.
The other other thing is that this type's targeting can feel very personal, but it's not really your FAULT that you got targeted, they're just the type to go after someone and guess who was unfortunately convenient!
@wretched said in Learning how to apply appropriate boundaries:
I think the worst thing is not that we have flaws, but to not work to fix them when you realize it/have them pointed out. I mean people who have known me for a time know i can be more than a little cantankerous, opinionated, set in my ways. I've bitten peoples heads off over little shit and for most of that I have some remorse.
I eventually write people off if that continues, even if they feel bad, because feeling bad and not stopping is pretty awful, too. It's harder to protect yourself, though, because you want to give that person the benefit of the doubt and then oops! Burned again.
Really if everyone's saying the same thing about you it's something to look at, if it's a bunch of different things it's probably personal differences but still worth it to look at and evaluate, but if one person feels that EVERYTHING is ALWAYS your fault, it probably is not, but if it IS, then why didn't they walk away? It's not healthy to keep that going.
Sometimes it's not as important who exactly is WRONG WHERE WHY if the pattern of dysfunction keeps occurring so much as accepting that things are just not working and it's time to disengage. Someone commented above that they crosscheck their every interaction with someone with someone else. It might be simplistic of me to suggest, but I don't think they should interact with that person anymore. It's not working. (Edit: at least, don't interact OOC.)