The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves)

[Too Old For This]

@sunny Having spoken to my mom, who is the most executive functional minded person I can think of, apparently the running playlist at the back of the head is actually an ADD thing. She seemed surprised to find out that I can a constant stream of favorite songs and scores that run through my head. And then asked me how I managed to get anything done with that. And then I had to explain to her that the music is what allows me TO function. That without it the thoughts and ideas and anxieties will pile up faster than Bellatrix Lestrange's vault at Gringots.

And then I had to explain the reference.

[GreenFlashlight]

@sunny said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

Does everybody not have a soundtrack in their head?

I don't. I have a narrator who speaks in prose. "As she typed the sentence, a slight grimace crossed her face, barely perceptible in the brow, rather more in the lips. She shifted on the bed to try to change the pressure on her left hip and relieve the dull ache pooling in the meat of her butt. The pain had been escalating for the last few weeks; nothing serious even now, but the kind of thing her mind would fixate on with worry if she let it. Typing all that out should have made her fixate more on it, but instead it seemed to pull the camera back in her mind's eye to take in other little aches and discomforts in her body. Her toes were cold. She wondered, for the kajillionth time and with no small amount of exasperation, why she was like this."

[Macha]

I had heard it is a common ADD thing? I mean, having music in one ear while I was in class let me function in college. And lets me get through work super quick

[RightMeow]

@macha said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

I had heard it is a common ADD thing? I mean, having music in one ear while I was in class let me function in college. And lets me get through work super quick

Wait. Is this an ADD thing? I use to have to study with music going. I had to split focus to focus, if that makes sense.

[Wretched]

Music rules my life. There is not a day that goe3s by that is not a musical experience. A world without music is empty.

[Carma]

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[Ganymede]

@rightmeow

I think it is common, but not exclusive. I am pretty neurotypical and I love music when I’m doing anything.

But I am also a cat, so —

[faraday]

Music (at least, the right music) has been proven by research to help people concentrate. It’s not exclusively an ADHD thing. But since ADHD folks have extra trouble concentrating to begin with, it’s common to find it as a coping strategy.

I haven’t heard about the inner soundtrack being particularly associated with ADHD but it’s an interesting potential connection. I constantly have songs going in my head.

[Macha]

Free@Will is an app that will help you find a kind of music to help you 'be more productive'. I used it to see if there was anything better than the one genre I know would at least kinda work for me (Spoiler: Not really)

But it's useful and you can get a free trial.

Mine is techno. I discovered that when I was a teenager. It confused the hell out of my best friend at the time. Techno was her chill music.

[Wretched]

[Too Old For This]

[Missingno]

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[Too Old For This]

@cassite Its my basic response to any questions as to why my son is struggling in school. I have literally emailed that strip to teachers and gone 'Look at this. LOOK. The kid on the right is your average child. The one on the left is mine. See how many more steps he has to go through just to get on the same level? See how shaky his foundation is? This is what it's like for him every day he's in school'. It has limited success, teachers are still adults, and in this area, they tend to be older adults. Meaning, old school. He gets called things like 'unmotivated' or 'easily distracted'. I get complaints about him wearing headphones (he listens to music on Spotify during class). And my response is... Is he present? Can you see him? Is he engaging in class? Does he respond when you ask questions? Okay, then fuck off with your assumptions. Yes, he struggles with completing assignments. That's a classic ADHD/ASD characteristic. He's trapped in his own head knowing he needs to get it done but unable to find the motivation to do so. It's so much easier to let the music play and engage in the classroom than it is to sit silently working on a PDF assignment sheet.

I go round and round and even the sympathetic teachers don't really know how to make him engage in the classwork. Schooling from home is Hell for him.

[Macha]

@too-old-for-this Thank you, for standing up for your son. For understanding what he's going through.

My father just called me lazy and stupid.

[Too Old For This]

@macha I can't do anything else. I went through the exact same thing when I was his age. I was told I was brilliant, tested high all around... but my grades suffered because I never turned in homework. In class, while engaged WITH the class, I was fine. But as soon as it went to 'quiet work time'... out came the books, the headphones (walkman at first, portable cd player after that). I was constantly in trouble for being 'lazy' or 'unmotivated' and 'not living up to my potential'. I would also skip classes that I deemed 'unnecessary'. Like chemistry. Science and I have a LONG mutual hatred of one another. I refused to take PE and got an academic waiver, loaded up on stuff like accounting classes, computer classes, technical drawing courses. Things that might actually be useful to me in life. I was 2 courses shy of graduation at the end of my sophomore year despite everything.

School has changed. My son doesn't have the opportunities in his school system I did in mine. This schooling from home has hurt him so much academically. PE is no longer a required, full-time course he can opt out of in favor of something that might be more beneficial to him. I get it. I hate that he's stuck in this. I hate that he's being forced into this by an antiquated school system. So I do everything I can to advocate for him, to stand up for him.

[Macha]

@too-old-for-this I would get in trouble for even having my walkman on me BETWEEN classes. Like, having the headphones on my head, even though they were clearly not on my ears (Oh if only I'd had today's wireless earbuds back then. I could have done so much better in school).

The assistant principal would LOOK for me, to try and get me in trouble for having my stuff on me. My stepmonster blew up at her one day. "Is she causing trouble? Is she hurting anyone? STOP CALLING ME."

[Wretched]

[faraday]

@too-old-for-this said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

I have literally emailed that strip to teachers and gone 'Look at this. LOOK. The kid on the right is your average child.

I feel this.

My kids are both struggling with virtual/home school and it sucks so much. I mean, all kids are of course, but I think it's extra hard for ones that have added challenges.

[Too Old For This]

@faraday Its been especially difficult as a number of the things he's supposed to be getting through his IEP have been unavailable to him through the virtual schooling. And when I bring up that he's being penalized for this as he's not receiving the aid he requires, the overall response is just 'shrug We can't be held responsible for the COVID pandemic and the issues it has caused'.... okay, but you can hold him to a level of accountability that you won't hold yourselves to??

[faraday]

@too-old-for-this Yeah, exactly. I send emails to the teachers like: "Look, my kid just can't pay attention in class. Help?" And I just get crickets chirping. I sympathize that they don't know what to do either, but it still sucks not to be getting any support.

I've basically taken to just teaching my kids everything myself, just following the school's curriculum.