The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves)
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@Ganymede This was specifically hearing, since speech wasn't the issue, but... yeah, often lots of overlap. Thankfully, from what I gather, they stopped using the techniques they used then. ('Advanced Interrogators' picked them up, though, not a joke.
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Something that compounds my ADD and is probably a large part of why it created anxiety in me is I have dyscalculia (dyslexia, with numbers) and one of the symptoms of this is audio processing. I have a delay in processing the things I hear. Especially through speakers.
It's why I hate talking on the phone. Why I insist on watching things with subtitles.
If I'm talking to someone with full headphones (not a single earpiece) and there's limited background noise and they speak clearly, I'm fine. But if there's noise or they mumble... Nope. I'm really grateful for my new coworkers, actually. They've been really cool about being willing to take or make calls (unless, y'know, we're too busy and I have to).
But it makes talking on the phone really, really hard when you have to force yourself to focus on one. single. thing. And then even when you do......the chances of making out what you've heard are really low.
I had to take a call today at work and it was for making a temporary badge and I got the name right except for one letter (f not s!) and I actually had a little celebration for myself.
For some people, talking on the phone while multi-tasking is no big deal. For me it's next to impossible. I can multi-task otherwise really well (when I have to run the SOC solo, that's 8 monitors to watch and handle information on and I love it because my brain runs high speed). But you add in talking to someone on the phone (in person is fine!) and I just become a bundle of nerves.
This is why, I think, I had my major nervous breakdown from working in a call center. It's not 'just' anxiety. It's anxiety born of this processing disability that's compounded by my ADD.
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@faraday said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
Thinking about this today while on the support chat with Verizon.
Online chat/RP with ADD:
- Read message.
- Start thinking about reply.
- Get distracted.
- Some random amount of time later... "Did I reply to that? Crap."
To quote a common Tumblr response, "I feel called out by this post."
"Well, I'll go flip to this article really quickly and read it while I wait. Oh, there's the timer, I better go change over my laundry. Hrm, while I'm down here, there's that box I meant to sort through, I should take that back upstairs, then maybe I'll go see if that person I wanted a scene with tonight is onlâ gah, I was RP'ing! I hope they haven't been waiting too long for a pose!!"
a.k.a. Packetdancer (or "Pax" for short)
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@Sparks said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
@faraday said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
Thinking about this today while on the support chat with Verizon.
Online chat/RP with ADD:
- Read message.
- Start thinking about reply.
- Get distracted.
- Some random amount of time later... "Did I reply to that? Crap."
To quote a common Tumblr response, "I feel called out by this post."
"Well, I'll go flip to this article really quickly and read it while I wait. Oh, there's the timer, I better go change over my laundry. Hrm, while I'm down here, there's that box I meant to sort through, I should take that back upstairs, then maybe I'll go see if that person I wanted a scene with tonight is onlâ gah, I was RP'ing! I hope they haven't been waiting too long for a pose!!"
This is one reason I'm glad for living alone and having my desktop (now that it's back in action!) in the central area of my apartment.
I may run around and do a dozen different things, but I'll always pass back by it and see Potato there on the left-hand screen. Because I am so much like this, too. I was once on the phone with a fellow MUer and I had it on speaker (dunno where my headset was at the time; I usually don't do that) and I kept wandering off mid conversation because something would distract me. I think I was standing on the sofa inspecting a curtain when he called me out for being a space cadet.
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So I know I've said I don't have ADHD, but I've been reading this thread, and I've been thinking "Hmm" a lot. I'm planning on asking my shrink (more than) a couple of questions when I see her this week.
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So, the first ADHD medication trial I did (mentioned about two weeks ago in this thread) didn't do much for me; the ritalin was a really mixed bag. I was able to focus slightly better, but it gave me a raging headache, so we stopped fairly quickly. I was sort of disappointed and went, "Well, maybe medication won't do much for me after all."
But now I'm trying first adderallâtomorrow's the last day of that testâand then dextroamphetamine. And oh my god this is amazing stuff.
The first day I was taking the adderall, even on a minimal dose, I was able to sit in a 1.5 hour long meeting and actually focus for most of it; yeah, my brain still drifted off on some side track prompted by a random comment twice, but that's way better than the like... 12 times it would've normally been unless I was digging my fingernails into the palm of my hand under the table or one of my other coping mechanisms. Instead, I just sat there and listened and my brain stayed on track. And then I was able to go and start a task that I'd been putting off for like 3 weeks.
(And again, that was on one-third of a full dose. Full dose, I think my brain probably wouldn't even have wandered those two times!)
The downside is that the 5-hour adderall pills only work for me for 3 hours at a time. And the difference between those first three and the last two is stark. Plus, I get a kind of unpleasant headache for the last three hours.
Luckily, there's a very likely explanation for this: adderall is a mixture of dextroamphetamine (which hits quickly) and levoamphetamine (which takes longer to release). So the first three hours is usually the dextroamphetamine, the last 2-3 hours is usually the levoamphetamine. The fact that only the first three hours are effective (and that I have a headache for the last three hours) is a pretty common sign that dextroamphetamine works well for my ADHD, while levoamphetamine is a thing that is Not For Me. So starting on Wednesday, I'm dose-testing just plain dex, and we'll see how that goes.
At any rate, the reason I post this is that if you are ADHDâeven if you think you have 'sufficient' coping mechanisms to function in daily lifeâif you are offered to do medication dosage trials, I really suggest that you do it. Because, yes, I had sufficient coping mechanisms to function as an adult (and a senior engineer), so I could've just kept going. But now I've seen how brains are actually supposed to work, where I can just... pick a thing and start it, much less do so without ending up thinking about three other things along the way, and it's amazing.
(Though I'm told the euphoric feeling of "holy shit I can actually do things what is even happening" superpowers does eventually fade, even as the productivity and focus remains.)
a.k.a. Packetdancer (or "Pax" for short)
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@Sparks i had nearly the exact same experience. ritalin gave me a RAGING headache as soon as the effect started slipping. The 2nd dose didn't make a dent in it. The adderall is a night and day difference. I occasionally get a little bit of headache as the 2nd wears off, but if I make sure to drink enough water it rarely happens - and even then a little advil knocks it out easily.
It is life changing. It hasn't really stopped me from having my executive function problems, but that has to be done with CBT, and I know this. What it DOES is give me the ability to focus, and to feel like I am awake and present in my life. You wouldn't usually think "constant sleepiness" is a symptom of ADHD, but man.
I set out my first dose and set an alarm for an hour before I have to be up. I take it, and go back to sleep until an hour later when my second alarm goes off and it's at peak effect in my bloodstream. I can just hop out of bed and start my day, and I don't even NEED coffee, really. It's amazing.
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@Kanye-Qwest said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
It is life changing. It hasn't really stopped me from having my executive function problems, but that has to be done with CBT, and I know this. What it DOES is give me the ability to focus, and to feel like I am awake and present in my life. You wouldn't usually think "constant sleepiness" is a symptom of ADHD, but man.
Oh my God yes this. I had no idea my chronic feeling of insufficient sleep was a symptom of ADHD until I started this Adderall trial!
I set out my first dose and set an alarm for an hour before I have to be up. I take it, and go back to sleep until an hour later when my second alarm goes off and it's at peak effect in my bloodstream. I can just hop out of bed and start my day, and I don't even NEED coffee, really. It's amazing.
...I should try it that way. I've been taking it just before catching the bus to work.
a.k.a. Packetdancer (or "Pax" for short)
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@Sparks said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
@Kanye-Qwest said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
It is life changing. It hasn't really stopped me from having my executive function problems, but that has to be done with CBT, and I know this. What it DOES is give me the ability to focus, and to feel like I am awake and present in my life. You wouldn't usually think "constant sleepiness" is a symptom of ADHD, but man.
Oh my God yes this. I had no idea my chronic feeling of insufficient sleep was a symptom of ADHD until I started this Adderall trial!
So basically my doctor insisting I 'just need to sleep more' before she'll consider meds is her potentially screwing me over?
I take ambien ffs just to try to sleep more. I don't take it EVERY night because I know how bad that can be, but man if I am not TRYING to sleep more.
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I had no idea constant sleepiness could be a symptom! Today, though, was a squirrel day. Swear I did something, then blink and it's been 5 minutes and the thing isn't actually finished.
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Yeah ADHD people often have trouble disconnecting and going to sleep, and then we don't always get good sleep while we ARE asleep - not to mention the mental fatigue that comes from constantly trying to refocus attention and castigating yourself and being anxious about all the things you are letting slip. IDK all the science behind it, but it is definitely a symptom.
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@Kanye-Qwest said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
Yeah ADHD people often have trouble disconnecting and going to sleep, and then we don't always get good sleep while we ARE asleep - not to mention the mental fatigue that comes from constantly trying to refocus attention and castigating yourself and being anxious about all the things you are letting slip. IDK all the science behind it, but it is definitely a symptom.
I was explaining to someone recently that I sort of have to use my phone at night to be able to sleep. Because if I just lie there... my brain will never shut off. So I have to just queue up a bunch of mindless YouTube videos to keep my mind occupied enough that I can start falling asleep during them.
Then hope that in the space between putting my phone down and settling in, my brain doesn't kick into a 'Oh hey remember that thing...'
I also wouldn't be surprised if super weird dreams are a thing with ADD/ADHD. Because mine are never mundane and I wake up sometimes just exhausted from my dreams. But I know very few people who experience a similar level of 'fucked up'ness in their dreams.
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
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@Auspice said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
I was explaining to someone recently that I sort of have to use my phone at night to be able to sleep. Because if I just lie there... my brain will never shut off. So I have to just queue up a bunch of mindless YouTube videos to keep my mind occupied enough that I can start falling asleep during them.
I usually read before bed on my Kindle, because the phone's back lightâeven with Night Light/f.lux type stuffâcan make me more awake. Reading works better because it still occupies my brain enough to keep it from doing the 'race around the house like a panicked cat' thing, but doesn't have the backlight to keep me awake.
(The downside to this is that sometimes instead of slowly letting fatigue take over, I get really into the book and then it's like 4am and I'm like "well, shit".)
a.k.a. Packetdancer (or "Pax" for short)
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find a podcast, seriously. "Sleep with me" is a good one, it's a guy reading very bland news stories in a very bland voice. No lights, just enough distraction to keep your mind from racing off.
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@Sparks said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
@Auspice said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
I was explaining to someone recently that I sort of have to use my phone at night to be able to sleep. Because if I just lie there... my brain will never shut off. So I have to just queue up a bunch of mindless YouTube videos to keep my mind occupied enough that I can start falling asleep during them.
I usually read before bed on my Kindle, because the phone's back lightâeven with Night Light/f.lux type stuffâcan make me more awake. Reading works better because it still occupies my brain enough to keep it from doing the 'race around the house like a panicked cat' thing, but doesn't have the backlight to keep me awake.
(The downside to this is that sometimes instead of slowly letting fatigue take over, I get really into the book and then it's like 4am and I'm like "well, shit".)
The downside there is exactly why I can't read before bed. I almost always end up staying up all night reading the book!
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I have a special playlist on my ipod for falling asleep to when my brain won't turn off. It has somber instrumental sountracks mainly.
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@faraday said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
I have a special playlist on my ipod for falling asleep to when my brain won't turn off. It has somber instrumental sountracks mainly.
Mine is the constant reminder known as aging, which causes my body to break down and will eventually lead to my demise.
Sleep is a blessed gift in the face of oblivion.
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@Kanye-Qwest said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
find a podcast, seriously. "Sleep with me" is a good one, it's a guy reading very bland news stories in a very bland voice. No lights, just enough distraction to keep your mind from racing off.
I miss "Nuns in Space." Dearest Scooter is a gift.
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@Sparks said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):
(And again, that was on one-third of a full dose. Full dose, I think my brain probably wouldn't even have wandered those two times!)
I don't have much experience with dextroamphetamine, I've always been using the generic version of Ritalin. However my experience with Ritalin isn't that you get even better at concentrating the higher the dosage, rather there exist a dosage during which you feel like you function like a normal human being while doses higher then that make you feel like your eyes are itching and you can't relax and finding that ideal point is probably what you'll be working out with your doctor.
My biggest issue is that while the ADHD meds will keep me awake and better able to get things done, especially in the mornings, it doesn't do anything about chronic fatigue from bad sleep. For better and worse what you're getting is alertness.
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1pm: I should probably eat today.
(Got distracted by YouTube.)2pm: I should probably eat today.
(Went to kitchen, decided to refill cat food, ultimately ended up vacuuming and cleaning bedroom)3pm (now): Jesus why do I feel like I'm gonna pass o- oh. I never actually ate did I?
Bonus round: while writing this I realized I left the cat food bowls on the kitchen counter. I'm gonna get home to some unhappy kitties.
Saying the quiet parts out loud since 1996.
