Rape fetishes are sexualizing an act that's about power and control but isn't actually about sex. It requires, if we're defining rape here as between a biological male and a biological female, what we generally define as copulation generally set aside for procreation on a strictly non-social basis.
And y'know? That's really fine. It's not my thing but rape kinks if you're doing that right are about consent and negotiation regarding power dynamics and exchange, which is in every way the antithesis of rape. But taboos are titilating, so.
And that's the problem I think with the players who are trying to work through some halfbaked idea of what rape kinks are and equate automatically to actual rape being also about sexual acts because the commonality is the presence of some genitals.
But they don't often tell other players that this is their angle. Taboos being taboos there's no impetus and no social reward to speaking up. So instead, they commit the text version of walking up to someone on the subway and using their shirt to blow their nose. It's a very clod fisted way of dehumanizing and devaluing another player.
But I really wish that many players who favor this sorta thing actually got the important distinctions. You don't need a plot and a scorched earth to explore and justify an idea about power exchange that makes your bits tingle.