@Ganymede and @Kanye-Qwest
Alright, I can certainly get behind this.
I do think, however, that the ... language used could be better when discussing this situation with white men.
Too often, I get told, rather directly, that I should basically feel like a terrible person for the equivalent of winning the genetic lottery. All of us tend to get lumped into one group, the same as say, blacks or asians. And just like it makes minorities mad to get lumped into one giant supergroup, it makes white men angry too.
In regards to things people actively do to try and enforce racial/gender stratification, I do very few of them. I do have a few traditional beliefs that people tend to fall on either side of the fence on. Raising a hand to a woman is not okay to me, unless you're being threatened with grievous harm by a woman. Maybe not a progressive idea, since it does place women in a different class, but one I think has merit.
In regards to the things that hapen just because I'm a white guy, though, regardless of my actual actions or input, it's really frustrating to be treated like The Enemy, or That Fucking Guy just because I happen to be white. I'm sorry. I didn't get a choice in that matter. For what it's worth, it's not all sunshine and roses on this side, either. But too often, this kind of a conversation turns into "You should feel bad because you're white."
I think that instead of statements like "you are part of the problem", it might be better to use more neutral statements like "the problem exists because this situation exists". Statements like these are especially fodder:
But the old saying is true : when righteous men do nothing, evil flourishes. In this case, it's not enough to just be innocent of this shitty behavior yourself. It is - sadly - not enough to try and prevent it if you happen to see it happening to a friend or someone you know. The only way to be 'part of the solution' here is to ACCEPT that because of your position of privilege, other people suffer.
There is a limited amount of stuff I can do about that. Telling myself that I should feel bad about being me because other people aren't me is not, in my opinion, a good solution. Tell me to support other people. Tell me to use whatever position I have to try and help. Those things, I can do Telling me that because I'm me, someone's life is shitty, and I should be not-okay with this is... maybe functionally identical when it comes to end results and what actions I take, but a world of difference away when it comes to the mentality that you're trying to foster, of cooperation and harmony. Them's almost fightin' words, you feel me?
So I think that maybe it would be wise to take a look at the language we're using in these conversations, and try to find less antagonistic ways of saying what we would like to see happen.