RL Anger

[surreality]

More or less everybody thinks <thing> is perfectly fine when they're doing it, and an utter abomination when somebody else does.

It's how often it happens that ultimately makes all the difference.

[mietze]

Nope, not at all. There's plenty to go around. However, it's always good when you're really going to throw it down in front of a community that's super familiar with your long term behavior, you need to accept the fact that eventually someone's going to be super sick of it.

[mietze]

@surreality said in RL Anger:

More or less everybody thinks <thing> is perfectly fine when they're doing it, and an utter abomination when somebody else does.

It's how often it happens that ultimately makes all the difference.

I would also say in addition "And in how often they very vocally decry others very personally/aggressively/rudely that do it while unbelievably engaging it to the same extent if not more themselves."

[surreality]

So much of all of this could apply to so many people around here I am not even going to guess re: subtext/target/etc.

[mietze]

I think it can apply to just about anyone yeah. It's kind of like the old adage don't talk shit about someone in "private" about a mush and then be all butt hurt or shocked when they inevitably hear about it.

If you can't handle people calling you on your bullshit then maybe don't blast or make fun on people when a ton of people know damn well your behavior elsewhere. I have often wondered, especially when it's in an aggressive convo here, where the speaker knows there are people present who know how they've behaved, why they become so vocal about how horrible that behavior is?

For the most part I think most folks even here are very much "eh not worth it" when it comes to responding, but eventually you are gonna get on someone's last nerve.

It's happened before, it'll happen again. And it is certainly not limited to gamer geeks. (As anyone who's ever been a part of a volunteer org knows.)

[Pandora]

I forget sometimes that you people know/play with one another. I mean, it's still fucked up you lot treat people you apparently know on some level so badly, but I guess it makes more sense than just flinging hate at each other without any readily apparent provocation.

Still, have a fucking Kit-Kat and chill. Life is too god damn short.

[mietze]

Just for that comment I'm going to deduct 50 DKP minus from your menstrual attractiveness stat.

[WTFE]

@Pandora said in RL Anger:

At least I own being mean and hateful when I am in fact being mean and hateful, which is honestly not that often.

Never understood why this was considered a virtue instead of an exacerbating condition.

If someone doesn't realize they're being an asshole, it's not really quite their fault (except insofar as not knowing you're being an asshole is often fucking stupid).

If, however, someone knows full well that they're being an asshole and then flat-out says they know it this actually, to my mind, is worse. It means they recognize assholeish behaviour and then explicitly decided to continue doing it.

[Arkandel]

@WTFE Not many people are assholes all the time, but even more importantly, almost everyone is an asshole sometimes.

Personally when someone acknowledges it I look at it as an admission of fault; it's not an apology - maybe that'll never come - but maybe more of a request - hey, I know I can be a jerk but I've got upsides too... is that okay?

If I waited to hang out either here or iRL only with perfect human beings I'd be one lonely son of a bitch.

[Ganymede]

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

If I waited to hang out either here or iRL only with perfect human beings I'd be one lonely son of a bitch.

You aren't already?

Asshole.

[WTFE]

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

@WTFE Not many people are assholes all the time, but even more importantly, almost everyone is an asshole sometimes.

Absolutely agreed.

Personally when someone acknowledges it I look at it as an admission of fault; it's not an apology - maybe that'll never come - but maybe more of a request - hey, I know I can be a jerk but I've got upsides too... is that okay?

That isn't the kind of usage I'm talking about though. I'm talking more about the people who say things like "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I admit it" or "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I know I'm one". As if knowingly being an asshole mitigates.

If I waited to hang out either here or iRL only with perfect human beings I'd be one lonely son of a bitch.

Hmm... I'm a lonely son of a bitch. Perhaps a strategy change is in order...

[Arkandel]

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

That isn't the kind of usage I'm talking about though. I'm talking more about the people who say things like "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I admit it" or "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I know I'm one". As if knowingly being an asshole mitigates.

I guess that's better than being a hypocrite about it? "I'm not an asshole, I just tell it like it is".

[Coin]

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

@WTFE Not many people are assholes all the time, but even more importantly, almost everyone is an asshole sometimes.

Absolutely agreed.

Personally when someone acknowledges it I look at it as an admission of fault; it's not an apology - maybe that'll never come - but maybe more of a request - hey, I know I can be a jerk but I've got upsides too... is that okay?

That isn't the kind of usage I'm talking about though. I'm talking more about the people who say things like "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I admit it" or "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I know I'm one". As if knowingly being an asshole mitigates.

If I waited to hang out either here or iRL only with perfect human beings I'd be one lonely son of a bitch.

Hmm... I'm a lonely son of a bitch. Perhaps a strategy change is in order...

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

That isn't the kind of usage I'm talking about though. I'm talking more about the people who say things like "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I admit it" or "well, I'm an asshole, but at least I know I'm one". As if knowingly being an asshole mitigates.

I guess that's better than being a hypocrite about it? "I'm not an asshole, I just tell it like it is".

These are equally damning statements.

My saving grace is that when I'm being an asshole I just think I'm being funny and then I cry at night after the realization dawns on me.

But I do it in private. Where I'm not bugging anyone with it.

You whiny bastards.

<.<

[surreality]

This whole thing is so dazzlingly vaguebook-y it's starting to make my eyes cross.

Also, fuck these painkillers, that instantly made my brain mock up a 'vogue' cover with 'vague' in its place and a pixelated censor hazed face with backlighting ('we have protected the identity of this witness... ' ) as the cover photo, complete with slogans like, 'how to get away with snarking the shit out of someone while playing innocent' and '10 completely bullshit rules you can make up on the fly to apply to participants in an argument to try to gain the upper hand' and 'how to instill paranoia and alienate people (part 4 of 7)'.

[Cupcake]

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

If I waited to hang out either here or iRL only with perfect human beings I'd be one lonely son of a bitch.

I am aware of only one perfect human being on this planet:

[Coin]

@Cupcake said in RL Anger:

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

If I waited to hang out either here or iRL only with perfect human beings I'd be one lonely son of a bitch.

I am aware of only one perfect human being on this planet:

Except for that one time he went on Twitter and started fighting with his fanbase because they criticized Texas and his wife's from there so obviously he needed to go out into the world and #NotAllTexans.

[Kanye Qwest]

@WTFE said in RL Anger:
ver understood why this was considered a virtue instead of an exacerbating condition.

If someone doesn't realize they're being an asshole, it's not really quite their fault (except insofar as not knowing you're being an asshole is often fucking stupid).

Wrong.

[surreality]

The main reason I prefer self-aware assholery is that there's less drama involved, generally.

A: "You're being a total asshole!"
B: "Yep, I know."
A: "Knock that shit off!"
B: "OK."/"No." <action can be taken if necessary by staff or who/whatever>

A: "You're being a total asshole!"
B: "OMG NO I AM NOT! HOW DARE YOU!"
B to "OMG A JUST CALLED ME AN ASSHOLE!"
"OMG A is such an asshole!"
C to A: "You need to stop abusing B!"
A to B: "What the fuck, B?"
B: "I am not talking to you, you monster!"
B to "A is harassing me now!"
C to A: "Stop harassing B!"
...and so on.

[Jaded]

Yes you cheap fuck. We will yellow tag your god damn fire panel and report you to your local fire marshal because you decided you did not want to have your fire devices monitored in your -apartment building-. That is a violation of state code and we are not obligated to "Ignore it for a month or two..." while you decide if it is cost effective for you to replace faulty, non-working devices.

[Pandora]

@WTFE I am not an asshole -ALL- the time, I'm certainly not an asshole to an extent that I've ever been banned from anywhere except this one game that doesn't allow kissing/handholding and I had a lesbian relationship. But I am aware that sometimes I say things that people don't like, with the knowledge that they won't like it, and yet I choose to say it anyway because my life isn't about saying what people want to hear. The last time I was overtly abusive to someone, I was drunk and told someone I don't like to kill herself, and MSB had a field day telling me how horrible I was for that, and sure it was mean, but I'm not going to pretend I feel contrite about it. So, me=asshole. Fake apologies are kind of like fake tits, they look nice but they feel fake. Who has the time?