Nov 23, 2017, 9:09 PM

My downstairs neighbor. Goddammit.

For a little bit of context: my husband and I live in a two-story, 50s era apartment building in SoCal. This means that there's not much in the way of insulation. The building also has hardwood floors. We've lived here for over 10 years and we're a generally quiet couple -- when we socialize, we go out rather than have people over (because it's harder to bounce early from a social situation when the social situation is gathered in your own space; GO AWAY). The complex overall is pretty chill; no one really parties, folks just keep to themselves. 12 units of introverts, apparently. We have all been living in peace and harmony for years.

Anyway.

A year ago or so, an older couple moved into the apartment below ours. They're in their 60s and, on the surface, they are very nice. But they do not seem to understand that with apartment living comes an expected tolerance of a reasonable level of noise; plus, she is a ridiculously light sleeper to the point where I think even our breathing bothers her. She, apparently, cannot wear earplugs because they hurt her ears. Our apartment layouts are exactly the same, right on top of each other; the bedroom that they use as their master is the bedroom we use as my office. These are some of the things we've done to accommodate this woman:

  • Move the litterbox from the office to the dining room (we don't actually dine in there, don't worry)
  • Put down rugs everywhere
  • Kick the cats out of the office by 9p
  • Stop using the office by 9p
  • Don't go into the office before 9a

We do it because we're decent neighbors and not a couple of dicks. But she still complains. About everything. 'I heard your cat jump down onto the floor at 10p and it woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep for the rest of the night.' and 'Your floor fan makes our entire apartment vibrate. I would appreciate it if you don't use it (on the hottest day of the summer. on a Saturday. in the middle of the afternoon when she wasn't even sleeping. even though our crappy wall-unit AC doesn't really work).' and 'I heard you in your office the other night (I had an illustration deadline and was QUIETLY DRAWING and taking great pains to NOT MOVE AROUND in my chair)so I was unable to get ANY sleep.' She and her husband have actually asked to come into our apartment so they can make 'recommendations' as to how we can further muffle the sound between our apartments; we have declined because fuck that noise at this point.

Also keep in mind: their bedroom faces the street. A street that routinely has cars racing up and down it noisily and homeless people periodically screaming at the sky because fuck the sky! But it's my drawing that is keeping her up. Okay, lady.

While I myself am a very heavy, sound sleeper, I am sympathetic to her situation. HOWEVER. I doubt this is a suddenly new condition soooo ... why on Earth, knowing that she apparently cannot sleep unless she is ensconced in a sound vacuum, would they elect to move into a first-floor apartment in an old building with hardfloor floors? This is HER problem, not mine.

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I'm half tempted for my husband and I to switch our bedroom so that it is right over their bedroom just to invite the inevitable complaint of 'I heard you guys having sex and it kept me up all night'.

TL;DR: My downstairs neighbor complains about every single little noise and I am sick of it.

Anyway. Happy Thanksgiving.