RL Anger
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@admiral said in RL Anger:
@thenomain Regarding white males of America, I doubt it.
We still run shit on both sides of the political spectrum.
The implication with this is that men on both sides of the political spectrum weren't getting away with sexual harassment, and yet here we are.
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@auspice Depends on where you are, that could count as prostitution.
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I overheard a conversation yesterday between two co-workers, a man and a woman, with them both remarking about how the women were "using Weinstein too" for their careers. I very quietly sidled up to the man later and remarked how it didn't matter, and that sexual assault is never okay, and not a bargaining chip
UghhhhhhOMFG You should never HAVE to explain that to people.
Rage.
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I will willingly offer myself in exchange for steak and booze.
Is that acceptable?To be frank, I'm a simple sort of person, and will exchange steak and booze for someone to watch Stranger Things 2 with.
Can we watch American Gods, too? I've been meaning to watch that again.
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@thenomain i don’t see that has been the implication.
I’m sorry, but again. Any woman who has been part of a political organization no matter what orientation or side probably has with experienced it or knows someone who has or has been a witness to it.
I got rape threats on social media via a group that was organizing for Sanders. Only by the extremely loud and unrelenting from the group activism did we recently oust a state level political organizer from my party that raped a woman at a party event 3 days after she turned 18–and there are still people who will say out loud, oh that’s too bad, he’s such an awesome organizer. The state party chair screamed at someone wanting to pass a resolution at the state level specifically decrying rape and sexual violence and not tolerating it within the party that they and the victim could go “get fucked.” (The state party chair is a woman).
Rapes and sexual harassment happen in every single group on all sides. Pretty sure that 99.9 percent of all women could have told anyone who asked this.
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Yes.
That was my point.
That it isn't about politics.
This is a lot more effective than taking a knee during a sporting event, but then I can't say that the African American peoples of America have tried the "look, look here, see where the beatings and injustice is, I can prove it" and it hasn't worked yet. Women have been doing the same thing for just as long, and now is their time. About fucking time.
I'm just hoping that the social justice, with or without the warriors, continues to spread to all people of our Great Experiment, the American Melting Pot. I'm hoping that the fire lit under Hollywood is just the start of that flame finally catching.
It's only been a few hundred years of people trying.
No big.
(late edit: grrr, anger, fuel of impotent rage)
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The only reason why this is getting much attention now is because attractive white women are coming forward.
And yes, there are many of us continuing to fight for communities of color, both within and alongside. Which is pretty obvious if you’re involved.
I do think it’s telling that so many people “wonder” if people are working towards multiple things. As an activist, I confess, when I hear the wonderings I wonder how concerned people can’t NOT see the work being done.
Unless they aren’t part of it. I hope more people become part of it. Certainly the community is growing like I’ve never seen in the last 20 years.
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And powerful or undeniably successful women as well.
It’s harder to scream “it’s all about cheating whores and ethics in game journalism” when it’s ceos, people you admire, people part of the community you want to be, etc.
If the only people speaking out were “unsuccessful” or people of color the narrative would continue to be, as it has been for a long time “it’s just gold diggers and the dumped/couldn’t bes trying to bring the successful man down.”
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So....I'm going to be the bitch here and say it, because while on the one hand I am very happy that -- for once -- there are actually consequences coming to bear against people who have repeatedly, publicly, provably been accused of sexual misconduct, I am also very, very, very tired of the number of people (almost all men, but hey, sure, I'll play your stupid game and say 'people') coming out and saying "I'm so surprised!" and "I'm so saddened!" at the effects of the Weinstein accusations, #MeToo, and all of this spiralling together at once.
None of this is new. None of this is secret. None of this is shocking in any way, shape, or form. Women have been saying this for generations. Women far smarter, and bolder, and stronger, more powerful, and more eloquent than me -- and I've beating this drum for almost twenty years now.
If you're in any way surprised by the depth or the scope of this, by the number of women you know you have been assaulted or harassed, by the fact that so many have gotten away with it? It's because you weren't fucking listening.
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Nobody reasonable can be surprised at the scope or the proliferation of such people and their abuses. As I can only speak for myself, when I express surprise I express such at the particular people so far named not the fact that such things have occurred. There is a level of self-delusional denial that comes with the revelation that people you admire or like are in a position to be accused of such things reviled the civilised world over. If the people we liked can do such things, what the fuck are the people we don't like doing?
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@Aria I hate to be 'that guy', but men are sexually harassed and assaulted as well. It might not be as prevalent as with women but all abusers should be called to account. Not just those happen to abuse women.
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@admiral said in RL Anger:
@Aria I hate to be 'that guy', but men are sexually harassed and assaulted as well. It might not be as prevalent as with women but all abusers should be called to account. Not just those happen to abuse women.
I agree. But here's the thing:
It's the same toxic system that enforces silence on the part of abused, harassed, and assaulted boys/men -- usually for different reasons, but silence all the same. If it was at the hands of a woman? Well, it's not a problem, because men always want it! Twelve year old and his teacher? Haha, lucky him, amirite guys?!?!? If it was at the hands of a man? Suuuuuuper gay. Masculinity in question! Must've been giving off vibes. Should've been able to stop it. A real man never would've took that.
If you're a dude, this toxic system should seriously upset you. And I don't even just mean for genuinely sympathetic, altruistic, 'human suffering is bad' reasons. I mean for entirely personal, selfish reasons. Not the least of which is "demanding you be an emotionless robot, who not only controls his feelings but pretty much doesn't even have them" on one end of the spectrum to "assuming you are so hormonal and uncontrollable that your default state is 'rapist' and every woman you meet will be threatened by you unless she follows some arcane and esoteric set of rules that may keep your dick at bay" on the other.
How male abuse victims are treated is just one manifestation of that.
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So against my better judgement, I accepted my instructor's offer to go over my week 1 script (act one of a TV episode) via phone conference rather than just receive his written notes.
I figured: sure, I've got receiving harsh criticism in text down, but I should learn to handle it in person.
I wish I had listened to my gut.
This man is an ass.
This wasn't just harsh criticism.He never said a single positive thing. He cut me off constantly. He was practically yelling at me at times.
At one point, he misheard me. I tried to correct him. He snapped: "I know." and continued on with the misunderstood stuff.
The changes he wants me to make make no sense in places. Like it turns New Girl (the show the script is a spec for) into more of a drama than a comedy.
I had a 'part 1' to this class where we did our outlines. In a class taught by someone else, but that he designed. I got a 100 on my final outline. My instructor and classmates loved it. This guy? Wants me to throw out 2/3rds and rewrite based on what he wants (which is, again, more drama than comedy).
And the final lovely thing:
I emailed him last week after I watched the lecture recording. In the recording, for all the other show options we had to write for, he had script format tweaks. 'I know in Modern Family they do this, but I want you to do that instead.' etc. But he had none for New Girl. So I emailed to ask: 'Hey, is there anything in their script formatting that I shouldn't do?'He said no, use their format as is.
Well, part of the call was chewing me out for not tweaking my format.
I admit it, I was crying at one point. Just being cut off constantly and chewed out... That is not getting critical feedback on your work. And I wasn't even trying to forcefully stand my ground on things. I was trying to explain why I wrote things a certain way to help him better understand (since he made it clear he never read the outlines we turned in the first day of class).
I'm going to be lucky to pass this class and I'm already done caring.
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I am also very, very, very tired of the number of people (almost all men, but hey, sure, I'll play your stupid game and say 'people') coming out and saying "I'm so surprised!" and "I'm so saddened!"
Yeah, this is pissing me off. You are definitely a sad mfer, but you aren't SURPRISED. No one is surprised by this, and those hollywood dudes can just keep that fake shock for their mamas.
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@kanye-qwest What's pissing me off are the number of people that are saying things in my FB feed about how HEY, THIS IS HOLLYWOOD! or CASTING COUCH HAS BEEN A THING FOR YEARS!
Man, FUCK that shit. That's just downright infuriating, and what's even more infuriating is that I've seen women saying that shit.
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@ghost On the 'the casting couch has been a thing for years'... context would count.
'cause I can see it being a response that means either of the things below, depending on context. (Which, without any context... it's just gonna sound fucked up.)
- It's been a thing for years, you knew it going in, if you did it you have only yourself to blame! It's totally OK because it's no secret!
vs.
- Yeah, we've been trying to say this crappy horrible crap has been going on for years, it's fucked up and wrong, you're only waking up to what a thing this is and why it's bad NOW?!