You have four fucking phone numbers for me. I find it hard to believe that you could not reach me to tell me my doctor I've been waiting a month to see is leaving medicine altogether, I should not be finding this out the day of the appointment.
OMFG PEOPLE STOP MSGING ME ON FB BEFORE 9AM. I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD COFFEE YET I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOUR DUMB ASS.
Yup. My high school had all kinds of trenchcoats going on, usually from thrift stores. Mine was thick black wool, in 1985.
@darinelle This includes text messages, phone calls, or emails marked 'urgent'.
He/Him
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/why-english-teachers-die-young/
Claim: FALSE
Origins: The collection of labored and overwrought similes and metaphors included in the example quoted above are an instance of [deliberate attempts at bad writing], not [collections of bad student writing]. These entries were all taken from the Washington Post‘s long-running “Style Invitational“ feature, which twice (in 1995 and again in 1999) invited readers to come up with and submit “lame” and “painfully bad” analogies.
@arkandel I am going to use at least one of 1-3 in the next desc I write, on principle. And definitely 6.
Another good reason for the world to hope I never play again.
I am very fond of "They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
@arkandel
I really like numbers 10 and 11, especially 10 as I would call that a very apt analogy for a lot of relationships I have seen and been in.
I saw one once that had one that stuck with me, it was:
The jumper's body hit the pavement and exploded like a garbage bag full of beef stew.
@tinuviel Yes. Yes it does.
@arkandel also #3 and #5 are amazing, fight me
Some of these are legit.
Some remind me of Douglas Adams and his, "the spaceships hung in the sky in the same way bricks don't."
"Excuse the hell out of you. He's a bag of dicks. I'm a carefully curated box of cocks." -- to @GirlCalledBlu upon being misrepresented.
Some of these are legit.
Some remind me of Douglas Adams and his, "the spaceships hung in the sky in the same way bricks don't."
I always actually thought that was a pretty inspired line. Like, yeah, it's funny on its face, but it also gets you to imagine bricks hovering motionless in the air and really underscores how incredibly unnatural the scene would be.
@rinel Exactly.
"Excuse the hell out of you. He's a bag of dicks. I'm a carefully curated box of cocks." -- to @GirlCalledBlu upon being misrepresented.
My best friend from childhood has turned into... not a great person, and it bothers me even though we haven't spoken in years. But we used to be really close, and it's upsetting to see him on FB (I guess I should just unfriend him) posting really inane things.
A few days ago he was making posts about Athens Pride 2018 that were ignorant at best, he supports goddamn neonazis openly. The hell, man, you were never like this when we were 14. Dammit.
My best friend from childhood has turned into... not a great person, and it bothers me even though we haven't spoken in years. But we used to be really close, and it's upsetting to see him on FB (I guess I should just unfriend him) posting really inane things.
A few days ago he was making posts about Athens Pride 2018 that were ignorant at best, he supports goddamn neonazis openly. The hell, man, you were never like this when we were 14. Dammit.
I suspect abandonment issues are to blame. Your departure from his life had destroyed him. It's all your fault, @Arkandel, if only you hadn't been such a horrible person.
"Excuse the hell out of you. He's a bag of dicks. I'm a carefully curated box of cocks." -- to @GirlCalledBlu upon being misrepresented.
Jive is supposed to be a telecommunications app that makes a smartphone into something like one of those expensive teleconference phone systems.
It does not work. The entire app is crap. And their tech support is even worse. I have just spent 10 minutes explaining to a tech on their end, that I am not using the app on a desktop computer. That I'm using it on a smartphone. And then after 5 more minutes of me explaining this to him again he realizes he is talking to the wrong person.
Then proceeds to call me back 8 more times - wrong phone number.
For fuck's sake get your shit together. No wonder this app has shitty reviews.
I suspect abandonment issues are to blame. Your departure from his life had destroyed him. It's all your fault, @Arkandel, if only you hadn't been such a horrible person.
At least your track record remains consistent since this latest theory is as terribly and obviously flawed as the rest of them.
My best friend from childhood has turned into... not a great person, and it bothers me even though we haven't spoken in years. But we used to be really close, and it's upsetting to see him on FB (I guess I should just unfriend him) posting really inane things.
A few days ago he was making posts about Athens Pride 2018 that were ignorant at best, he supports goddamn neonazis openly. The hell, man, you were never like this when we were 14. Dammit.
