RL Anger
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I've been in an increasing amount of pain over the past year. By the time it got to the I should talk to someone point, I already had my yearly physical scheduled. So, I went to the physical and told my Dr. I dunno what I said, but my Dr. took it all very seriously, much more than I had to that point, and began to talk about autoimmune disorders and told me about a number of blood tests she was going to order. That was nearly 2 weeks ago.
However, several weeks later, my Dr. hasn't actually put in the paperwork to order the blood tests, meaning that I can't go get them. Waiting for results of tests is always frustrating, but I feel like this is even worse, because I haven't even been able to go get the blood drawn yet.
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I have ADD.
I have ADD, but I haven't yet found a doctor to take me seriously enough (yay being a woman) to give me anything for it. Usually I get 'Oh your anti-depressants should help with that' (wut.) or right now it's 'More sleep should fix that' (uhuh sure).
Meanwhile I have days I get so frustrated that I want to cry. I struggle with my job. I have a whole host of coping mechanisms just for daily life.
But the real anger part is my job. It's that I have told my bosses and project managers and their reactions range from 'Okay' to 'Oh I have trouble focusing some days, too!'
and then this bullshit.
I now, as of today, have to manually track my time. Every single case. I have to note the case number, a summary of what I did on the case, and how many minutes I spent on it. Because the client is concerned I'm not 'doing enough' on my shifts. This, after months of 'here work this special project.' After months of 'spend your shift focusing on <these> cases.' <these> cases being ones that take anywhere from 30-60 minutes to complete (sometimes more)... per case.
But oh, no, now it's 'We're worried she's not being productive enough because she's not closing enough cases per shift.' Because I'll 'touch' 20+ cases, but only close, say, 5.
Mother.fuckers.
You did this.
Not me.Maybe get better software where you can get metrics showing which cases we worked.
If you're so fucking worried about my time, don't give me another task that will take up time. Especially not a task that is madness-inducing for someone with ADD. How the fucking hell am I supposed to keep exact track of time spent?
I hate, hate, hate this path because this path leads to trying to justify my fucking existence with ADD. In a job with a company where I have witnessed (because I've done QA) people who are utterly horrendous at their job remain in their positions for months, years on end.
I'm great at my job. I just sometimes work slower than other people because of brain weasels.
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Oh, hey, you already have a 2 year degree in compsci. Lets put you in a freshman compsci class that is way below your skill level!
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@cobaltasaurus Yeah, I have an BS in English - Secondary Education, and had to take an english course for my AS
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@lisse24 Call your doctor. Harrass them (politely) until they give you the order.
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I did read about a study recently where signs of autism can be masked by women's generally different baselines and training. Seems that could apply to ADD as well.
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So, for a decade now, I've been arguing about my diabetes diagnosis. I did my research, and have politely and repeatedly asked for the test to make sure I'm type 2. (One of the admitting Drs in the ER thought it was type 1, but then someone else took over and stated it was 2). FINALLY, last fall, someone did the test. I'm type one. They didn't tell me this until my appointment this week. They've changed my doses and timings and added other things... and 'oh yeah, we might have damaged your liver, if these test results are anything, by giving you the wrong med.'. So effing furious.
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@macha I know that frustration, in that my mom spent the last 22 years misdiagnosed as a type 2. It took a week in the hospital due to diabetic ketoacidosis last summer to get her a correct diagnosis.
Bright side, now that she's on the right treatments, she feels a helluva lot better most days.
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Yaaaaaay hospitals. Bleh.
- about a month later
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Every time I think people can't get stupider...
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This whole Brett Kavanaugh thing. It makes me ashamed. It makes me ashamed of being male. It makes me ashamed of being white. It makes me ashamed of being upper middle class. It makes me ashamed of being from his generation. It makes me ashamed of my government. It makes me ashamed of my country. There is nothing from his bad acting to his outrageous entitlement that doesn't make me angry, and on top of that I hit most of the labels that makes me outwardly similar to that monster. Fuck. That.
That is all.
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Vote.
You'll feel better.
Specifically, vote for people who don't make excuses for that shit, like you don't make excuses for that shit.
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Vote.
I think the Millennials where I work are tired of me reminding them to vote. On the other hand, I have figured out that the link between Gen-X and Millennial is pretty strong.
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@thenomain said in RL Anger:
I think the Millennials where I work are tired of me reminding them to vote.
Tough shit.
You can't whine about your shitty working conditions if you don't at least do something meaningful to change the rules of the game.
Shitheads.
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Whoa there, Cowpoke, let's slow down there. The Millennials I work with are not whiners. Mostly. They're just kids. There are a lot of tattoos and woodsman beards, but I wouldn't classify almost any of them as Hipsters.
Step One: Vote.
Step Two: Figure out who to vote for based on their history.I know that Step Two should be Step One, but as politics has become so much marketing that being able to train yourself to understand Step Two seems daunting these days, and funny thing the political parties don't seem that excited to give people critical thinking powers.
Also something that makes me angry, but more on a slow burn:
- Without critical thinking education, we are fucked.