1. Base. I want transparency, candidness and a minimum level of mutual respect from the people who run the game I play on. I know I’m a guest, and the game is not made for me, it was made for them as the creators. Likewise, I owe it to the people and fellow players on the game I play on to give that to them in return.
2. Fix it first myself. If I have a problem with someone, I should take steps myself first to fix the situation. This could mean the game gives me tools and rules to support blocking people I don’t want to interact with on an IC or OOC basis (except in the situation of avoiding a consequence to my own idiocy or action). A clear and easy to understand set of policies regarding appropriate behavior and expectations of players and administrators is good. Help files for the code regarding the tools and rules is also beneficial.
3. Get help. If I can’t resolve the issue myself, I can follow the tools and rules of the game and submit a complaint with a suggested course of actions to be reviewed that deal with the issue. Having admin step in as arbitrators on situations sometimes is warranted, not always. I should be able to show that I’ve tried to fix it myself with step 2, and that I’ve been following step 1. If I’m an idiot and call out idiot behavior in others, then I don’t see why I should be getting help for the same issue I’m causing others. If I haven’t tried to fix the situation myself, then I might not be mature enough for roleplaying in this environment (I am not a fan of someone submitting complaints on behalf of others unless they are direct witnesses). If I’ve done these things though, then I should feel that admin will review the situation and abide by their own policies in dealing with it. I should know that my issue would be reviewed within X days, that I won’t get a direct response on what action if any has been taken but that I will be notified that it has been reviewed and acted on. At some point, I might not agree with the decision by admin and that’s okay because it is their game and I’m a player. I can choose to not play there, just as they can choose how to use their thinly spread resources to deal with all sorts of issues and creative/ooc direction I’m not privy to.
There’s lots of examples of bad admins and bad players. There’s a lot more examples of great admins and great players, we just sort of hone in with our horoscope mindset that the last negative moment is representative of something greater. If the hobby was that bad, I don’t think it’d have last this long with the growth rate it has. I give the benefit of the doubt to games, especially when I see that they take steps to empower their players instead of being gatekeepers.