Posts made by Caryatid

@thenomain No. See, I have a different take on this. When I am in the midst of a complete panic flail (which anyone who knows me I do suffer, more often than I'd care to but less often I used to), it only goes both ways to a point. If and when I am cognizant of reacting in ways that are contributing to making an attempt at communication worse, or impossible, it falls to me-- the owner of said reaction-- to go away until I can communicate in a more productive manner because I know, when I am in that place, I am incapable of processing what I am being told in a clear and unbiased fashion. It is coming in through a twisted filter.

I was there and watched you during that conversation. Yes, you acknowledged you were having this issue... but you took no steps to handle or adjust or improve that for the people who were being faced with a full on anxiety meltdown. You did not meet them in the middle. You said you were having this issue... and then expected them to make all of the concessions, while you put your head down and bulled towards what you wanted the outcome to be.

You owned your issues by saying out loud that you have them, to the extend that that is acknowledging they exist, but you didn't move to the necessary second step of handling them, in spite of being urged numerous times to do so. You were requiring them to not only be staff and app staff, but also to play counselor and psychologist for your issues.

Unfair, Theno.

On another forum I visited regularly before it died, they had an advertisement section, with ads locked only to the person who posted the ad, and then a reviews section, where people could throw up posts about their experience on games. It was not a no holds barred section of the forum, there were still civil rules of engagement expected, but you could bring in the positive and the negative there.

It might be a decent option.

@thenomain You did mention several times you were flailing and having a panic reaction. Several times staff and players suggested that you maybe step back and take some time to calm down. The suggestions were made multiple times, by multiple people, in considerate tones. That you did not placed the emotional burden of dealing with your reactions upon staff, which was just... not cool or fair, man. Those are your reactions. They're for you to own and handle.

They announced when they would be open. It's not on them that you didn't trust that they would be open then. They said they would. They did. This is pedantry.

@tinuviel That is rank pedantry. Your complaint was that they did not tell people when they would be opening. They declared the game would be open today. The game did open today.

@tinuviel I love you, man, but quoted from the first post:

"Log-in and character creation will be turned on Wednesday, January 9. We hope to see you there!"

They told people when the game was going to be open.

Staff clearly underestimated the response and they had to make a hard choice. I didn't think I'd make it in because of my schedule and had I missed it, I'd have been pretty damn disappointed too. But I will never fault people for recognizing what they can and cannot handle, and sticking to that line. My respect grows for people capable of doing that, it doesn't diminish.

@skew We both have good taste, it's why we're internet soulmates.

@ganymede Because she'll have a shaggy pixie cut.

@Ganymede You can stockpile some energy, I won't be playing a redhead. This time.

I'm definitely going to be giving this a try. If anyone wants to be magic buddies, hit me up. I'll be playing the owner/artisan of a touristy botanicals and beauty shop inherited from her mother.

There's something so viscerally satisfying about seeing the hard work ya'll put in take shape and achieve its final form.

Time to admit that the hiatus is over.

My constructive suggestion:

The next time there is an official break from something game-wise for staff, let it be a break from code/system stuff. Players are gently told not to bring number complaints, whining +requests are triaged off to a 'TBD' queue, and bug requests are handled but the complainers not engaged with. Let it be a month-long story-only request so that those of us uninterested in code, numbers, min/maxing, etc. can have the forward momentum on our RP that we'd like to see when we engage with the game.

@groth 99% of my sheets from both alts, I have from raw buying skills.

I'm not bovvered.

As someone who struggles with this as well, my number one piece of advice (which goes hand in hand with what everyone else has said) is this:

Learning how to consistently do this after a lifetime of not is difficult. You’re not going to wake up tomorrow after this thread being capable of being Wonder Woman. It’s easy to read good advice, harder to apply it and hardest to internalize it as habit and reflex. Do NOT beat yourself up if you don’t always manage it, remind yourself “this is a process”, and know there will be ups and downs, failures and successes, as internal and external circumstances have their way with you.

You’re already doing good to recognize the issue. The rest will come with time and effort and a few bruises. Be easy with yourself.

@ganymede I miss them too! One crazy jealous possessive chick’s antics are not enough to affect or remove the fun I had there with those characters.

@ganymede Oh no, I haven't actually seen anyone targeting you for this nonsense. I think your no-nonsense style of interaction goes a long way towards helping that and it's something I've tried to model with varying degrees of success (mostly less) because I think it does help act as a sort of... drama prophylactic.

But there has been high school drama whirling around you and I've seen it pass notice, or need to be explained because you missed it. The ghoul player on RfK, for instance, who chased Cai on two separate characters and was trying to wedge me out because she resented Nora being there (she mavved a gloating page to a buddy of hers into the all-game meeting about me leaving the game when staff fuckery reached a head there, for one instance of her constant shenanigans targeting me as an evil cockblocker).

It's not a bad thing. Or a bad superpower to have. But not witnessing it doesn't mean it isn't widespread.