@Tinuviel said in Consent in Gaming:
So yes, we are all in this together and we should do our best to ensure a good time is had by all, but punishing people for not wanting to play out the boring, the stupid, or the overlong just seems silly.
Define "punishment."
Should staff levy some sort of punishment? Of course not. Should players? Debatable. We all arguably want to be as accommodating as possible, but if someone is "depriving" me of my opportunity to do what I want to do, then I don't think anyone is going to look at me side-eyed for being a bit salty. So if I am the CO who is being dodged because a player doesn't want to play out a scene where I get to engage in the RP I'd like to engage in, I may decide not to spend a lot of time playing with that player's character in the future.
Is that punitive? Arguably. Consider the following:
@Thenomain said in Consent in Gaming:
Who you decide to help and spend your time with is up to you. This is ultimately a selfish hobby, and nothing, nothing can make you play well with others if you don't think they deserve it.
I think it is unreasonable for the player who elects not to play through a scene that I would like to player through to expect me to carry on, my wayward son, as if nothing at all just happened. Like we are still going to be besties if we only engage in the RP that such player wants to engage in, regardless of what I'd like to do.
The solution is to be deserving of it, of being self-aware.
Being self-aware sometimes means understanding that you may have to play through something that is boring in order to let others have their fun. It means understanding that it's not just about you and, maybe, you're part of a group whose needs and wants may be different from yours. If I could put my finger on what irks me these days, aside from people sitting around idle, it is the apparent absence of self-awareness reflected in attitudes and policies.
But I digress.
If someone says, "Hey, this doesn't seem like fun," don't think less of them. Think, okay what can we do that's fun? Have a conversation.
To be honest, if someone says "hey this doesn't seem like fun," I'm probably going to believe that they have the maturity of a pre-pubescent. One might as well say "I think this is boring" or "you're boring me," or something equally ribald.
Better approach: "I think we're heading in a direction I'd rather not RP through. Can we figure out a resolution that works out for both of us?"
Or: "I'm not really feeling this path of RP. Can we take it in a different direction?"
Treat your comrades like a fellow player, not a character who has to do things because otherwise your character won't get their spotlight time. Appease to their better nature or let them go.
As said above, jaded people get paranoid of being burned. Similarly, jaded people get tired of other players running over them because they attempted to appease to their better nature. Perhaps I am cynical, but I have found in the past decade that players are more than happy to take advantage of a situation to get what benefits them.
These nights, as I've become an elder, I find myself less and less willing to appease to anyone's better nature because, well, I can't find it. I have become increasingly frustrated with my experiences on games. I have trouble connecting by reaching out publicly to do so. So I am preparing not to give up, but instead to go back to building the game I want to see.