Whew, this is a heavy subject but also a very important one, and it certainly makes one go through a deep thinking. This is also a subject I have contemplated with myself, certainly much more often in the second decade of being in this hobby than the first when I was more young and stupid. Despite being a minority in the US, I was lucky enough to be a minority that wasn't as looked down upon or discriminated against as some of the other minority groups. There was discrimination, definitely, but the discrimination I faced was a thousand times less harmful than what African Americans or Hispanic people face on a daily basis. However, growing up in the US since the late 1980s and on, my brain certainly has gone through a whitewashing through education, media, and just the atmosphere around me. Sadly, I did not fully embrace my own origin until I became more mature because growing up in the states, it is inherently viewed that being white is the pinnacle of our culture and that was subtly taught in this country.
When it comes to this hobby, I have been incredibly guilty of playing predominantly white characters. In fact, I don't recall playing a non-white character until HorrorMU where one of the story arcs (the one allowing you to be a deity) that I was going to swap to an Asian deity which means an Asian art portrait as my character PB, my first non-white character that I can recall. However, RL waylaid me and I couldn't log on much anymore so I never actually got to play the character even though I had it mapped out and ready to go. It wasn't until I came back after my year+ hiatus that when I returned to the hobby on Savage Skies where I finished creating an Asian character and started playing a minority as a main character for the first time.
Now, here are the reasons from a non-white person's eyes on what lead me to the decisions I have made since I started this hobby. When I select a character, I want to play that character well so other people have fun when they interact with my character and aren't repulsed by the character's actions or the way I write. One can make a character more challenging to play by having odd quirks or hooks that are inherent roadblocks to a hero's story and I've found that I had no issues tackling any of those kinds of character challenges except for two characteristics, namely Race and Sexuality.
I don't play gay, bi, or trans-gendered characters because I would suck at them, mainly because I was never in their shoes once. I don't know how to properly play a character like that properly and what's worse, because of the lack of experience and accurate understanding, I could easily come off as offensive in my character's actions just because what one learns about them from an outside point of view is often misleading or just offensively incorrect. This is the same reason why I have yet to play a person of color (except Asian), for the very same reason except this time it is a racial characteristic and not a sexuality characteristic. What I learned about minorities (both racial and sexuality) when I was young was very, very different from what I've learned since growing up, and still learning about to this day. I don't think anyone can fully understand with all the learning they do because they lack one key element which is actual life experience (the good and the bad), which is why white privilege is such an important term that is being brought up heavily today.
Now why didn't I play more Asian characters in the past being an Asian myself? Because an Asian character isn't as easy as playing a white character, unfortunately. People often say (and I have been guilty of this in the past without fully understanding what I was saying) just play normally. Even the term "normal" is skewed heavily to where you grew up. In the US? Being normal is being white. In my opinion, you can play a POC character "normally" because you would be doing it wrong. Also, since growing up, Asians are rarely the lead protagonist in American movies or shows and if they are, sometimes they are portrayed inaccurately or even racially insensitive because it's amusing. Am I offended when I do that? Personally, no. I look at it and go haha, that's so dumb. Then move on. But it has certainly whitewashed what I think are easily acceptable elements in a movie, a show, or a story. It's easier to pick a white character and play it "normally", it gives me less stress and one less thing to consider when choosing an appropriate action. It is a bit sad that this is the way I look at things but it is also due to all the teachings and experiences I soaked up since I was a kid.
So will I play more PoC characters in the future? Unfortunately, probably not. Is it because I don't care about the lack of diverse IC demographics on games? Of course not, it's the opposite. I don't want to try to help balance the diversity in a game by introducing a character that is horribly played that brings shame to myself and discomfort to those that interact with my character.
