Posts made by Luna

In other news...Wells Fargo repossessed my car. I should be getting it back this afternoon, and as soon as I do, the state of Texas is going to open a case and investigate it. The agent for the consumer credit commissioner is super eager for some reason but he said it was better to have it back before we start, and I agree. It's seven levels of fucked up, start to finish. I had the money. I gave them the money. Clerical error messed up my payment, but aside from that they did a few things that aren't even legal in Texas. Then I had to wait almost almost week to give them LESS MONEY THAN I ALREADY TRIED TO GIVE THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. I literally can't even. I hate my rental Camry. Cars suck.

And I feel extra fat. I hate everyone so I'm going to go buy things at ikea.

@Arkandel I agree. I was speaking about doctors contextually however. And Debakey did WAY more than just operate. My psych doc is worth her price and she gives me lots of support and goes against office policy when it comes to my refills because she knows I'm out of pocket.

@HelloRaptor Six figures doesn't = rich. It can vary depending on cost of living and how far into those six figures you are. And the cost of malpractice insurance often runs six figures as well.

The plastic surgeons on Botched are rolling in it I'm sure. And why shouldn't they be? Debakey was very well off, and why not? He was a pioneer and thankfully a wonderfully giving man.

Why would person who makes a lot of money but doesn't make it helping people be encouraged to donate money, but a doctor who makes their money helping people be expected to not be rich at all?

A lot of this is apples to oranges in general. My experiences living in a major metro area are not the same as someone else's in even the same state in a rural area which aren't the same as people living in other states. Within America alone there's a huge disparity.

The Medicaid and Medicare systems are insane. You are forced into them. Even if someone wanted to buy private insurance they won't sell it to you if you qualify for the programs based on age/income. I purposefully made less money to go to school so I qualified for Medicaid. I didn't want Medicaid. I made a financial choice and could afford insurance but I was told that if you qualify for Medicaid it's a done deal and was signed up through the system.

That same system canceled me and wouldn't let me have ANY insurance. No reason. I just got a phone call that said they made a mistake. Our bad, it said. Sorry you haven't had insurance this year, system error. It's July. I have asthma. Thankfully it hasn't been much of a problem since I've gotten much healthier. I could afford my meds and finally kicked my long term controller med anyhow...which was 'only' $400 a month.

My major issue with this is why should I be forced into a system that's there to help people when they are down? Let someone else have my Medicaid dollars. When I was married and on Tricare, my doctor took it out of charity to the military and their families. It didn't pay shit. Why should someone who devotes so much of their life caring for others be relegated to chump change? I've done taxes for doctors. What they end up making after student loans and malpractice is not as much as people seem to think and then you compare it to the hours, the dealing with people and insurance companies and the good ones spend time advocating for their patients, the constant need to keep learning and the time not spent with families and yikes.

No system is perfect. You can't look at England and Canada and then the U.S. And say 'well we should do what they do' because we're all so different.

The government helps and hurts in turns. Look at rescue inhalers for asthmatics. Cheap generics were around. Then they decided we were killing the environment with our CFCs so they made them illegal. The new inhalers aren't generic (yay patents) and they suck. It'll be years before were paying less that $50+ for these to breathe and they don't work as well.

The best thing we can all do is become educated and be our healthiest selves. Smokers pay in with taxes and cost healthcare billions a year. At least there's a sort of offset there but quitting would help that drain. Obesity costs somewhere around 200 billion a year if I'm correct. It's bankrupting the nhs in England. That's one lesson we can all take to heart no matter where you are. Diabeties is expensive and in many cases preventable. These are two choices at the individual level we can all do to help the 'system'.

Headed to the beach with friends and all the sunscreen money can buy. And a hat.

I don't think hating something people can absolutely change is remotely the same as racism. And someone saying something mean on the internet isn't close to lynching and violence.

Not that I'd leave Texas for long but I'd like the option to live somewhere else if I wanted to. Being restricted to a handful of states because of SAD sucks. My options are Texas (I do love Texas so so much), Louisiana (I just can't), Arizona maybe, Florida, and California. I am so not rich enough for Cali and it's the only appealing option. I can't even move within Texas. Dallas gets snow, Austin is batshit, San Antonio is gross and I'd become a serial killer really quick on the inbetween bits. West Texas and the panhandle basically don't exist. Also, snow. Thanks brain. I love that you think snow should make me try to kill myself. Maybe I'd like to be a snow bunny but we'll never get to find out!

What @Shebakoby said was my first thought.

Family can get crazy and wives can make husbands do insane things.

Vent all you need! I'm sure there's plenty of sympathy and empathy around. I know there's a lot for you from me.

@Roz Dude. Pancakes are awesome. I debated that vs a doughnut vs a green tea frapp this morning.

PCOS doesn't make you gain 200+ pounds though, which is what people like to claim. Nor does your thyroid. It accounts for maybe 20 pounds. If you want to be fat, that's fine. Go for it. But don't get the science wrong, that drives me absolutely batty. As for either making it harder to lose weight? I had an easier, faster time than my best friend does and she has none of these things. While I'm not saying I'm a scientific study of one, that makes me believe that the harder to lose weight part isn't true for 100% of the women. Also harder doesn't mean impossible and that's what some people treat it like. I know I did. Which, let's be honest. I didn't actually try at all.

The shaming wasn't meant to do something for anyone. It's for its own little corner. The public stuff was more answers to questions. 'How can I do makeup to contour my face so I look thinner?' 'Just lose some weight' 'I'm too fat to have sex, is there a position I can try?' 'Just lose weight'

SRS was the biggest bunch of brigaders but since they were the social justice pit, it was ok. Either the rules are rules, or they're not.

I'm a very permissive person. If it makes the other person happy, I'm unlikely to say no. It's taken a lot to get to the point where I can say no about anything that seems to irk someone else. You want me to eat this food? But I don't want to. Oh ok. You want a fat girlfriend? But I'm unhappy. Oh ok. I don't like the way you're treating me. It makes you happy? Fine then. I'm done. I have grown a spine. No.

As a fat girl, I got things like 'should you be eating that? I can't believe you ate all of that. That dress doesn't look like it fits well'. As a less fat girl? Bitch. Whore. Slut. Cunt. Um...ok. This is from my supposed friends. Wtf. We won't even go into what it's like to refuse a date. Some of it simply comes from me not being afraid to say no as much anymore. Some of the worst offenders were my feminist friends.

That all said, RL thing I love? Not being obese. I'm still 10 pounds overweight, 20 higher than where I want to be, but holy hell. I don't care how mean to me people are. That's issues they have with themselves. Life is really good not being miserable and I didn't understand how miserable I was until I wasn't anymore.

@silentsophia I liked the makeup and skin ones before they drove me nuts lol

@silentsophia Doxing and identification weren't allowed. Brigading wasn't allowed. Post calling for brigades got you banned. It's not hard to figure out what content came from another sub and what that sub was so users would get crazy. People got banned. Also, any form of calling someone fat on Reddit was instantly blamed on fatpeoplehate.

As for the hating on people losing weight, eh. Sorta. More like hating on 'I totally stayed under 2000 calories this week! Yay diet! Time for a cheat meal of half a cake!' Or 'I weighed 300 pounds, 2 months later I'm down to 295!' There are people who posted 'progress pics' one week and one pound into weight loss. One girl posted a before and after over .6 pounds lost. Look, I'm all about encouragement but holy shit. Do you want a medal? I can swing 2-3 pounds any given day and more than 5 from morning to night.

Am I saying its a super happy rainbow land of goodness? Fuck no. I have a few people on my Facebook from there though and they're the best. It also kept me from going postal on people. It's cathardic. I'm extremely bitter over the way I let others manipulate me. Is it healthy? Ffft. Nope. My doctor said it was a good thing for me though. A safe space to express myself with like minded individuals until I grew comfortable and confident enough to spread my wings and tell people firmly, yet politely, that they need to either be supportive or get the fuck out of my life.

Losing weight has lost me more friends than being outspoken about my feelings has, so it didn't even take getting confident enough to vocally disagree. How dare I lose weight. How rude is it that I refuse to eat your food, quietly and politely. Positively criminal that I'm not having a slice of your cake. Please, scold me because I ordered a kids meal with you IN PUBLIC, which seemed to embarrass you. The worst one was getting yelled at and then unfriended and shit talked behind my back because I lost weight on psych meds, with an underactive thyroid, celiacs, PCOS, and fibromyalgia. I got yelled at for having an illness and then told that I'm a liar because I couldn't possibly have anything wrong with me and lose weight. Oh, and I'm a vile bitch full of vitriol because I won't fuck someone who's really fat.

Let me reiterate that, I won't fuck someone I find unattractive and bad for me, so I'm a vile bitch.

So yeah, I laugh at the butthurt because if you're really happy being fat, you wouldn't be butthurt. You can change your weight and the fat people who compare fat 'discrimination' to racism are awful people and I don't feel even a little bad.

How many people play fat characters on a MU apart from comedy relief or a fetish? And of those, how many are over 300 pounds? 200 pounds even? Exactly.

Me personally? I don't really hate fat people. I hate fat activists and feeders. Telling someone it's healthy and ok to be morbidly obese is sick. Telling people it's literally impossible to lose weight is horrible. Viciously attacking anyone less fat than you is deploreable. Like I tell my friends, I love you and I won't watch you kill yourself with food. There's a point at which we can no longer be friends. I wouldn't watch my friends kill themselves with drugs, or cigarettes, and I won't do it with food either. I honestly think standing up for myself is perhaps the reason I'm no longer friends with Troy after I got into it with her mother over PCOS and weight loss.

@mietze I'm going to the Korean spa in Dallas soon! God you're right, it's soooooooo amazing!! Getting scrubbed within an inch of your life by an ajumma in her underwear is magical.

As for the rest-
I loved fatpeoplehate. It was my daily motivation. I also enjoyed the hypocrisy of people trying to dox 'fatshamers' while freaking out when people posted public pictures that they themselves put online. Because that makes total sense.

I mean, yay let's celebrate censorship so long as it's censoring the people we don't like/disagree with. I've found people would put way more energy into trying to silence people than they will in showing love and acceptance to the targets.

My Reddit is ruined but Voat can't keep up. All my hater sanctuaries are messed up.

Can I just be over everything right now? I'm so over it I don't even want the cake I saved calories for.

@BigDaddyAmin I don't know what you do, but Exxon and Shell are hiring out here like crazy. I want to say that Varco is expanding too.

@BigDaddyAmin Welcome to my pity party. We don't have cookies but we have Quest bars which are awesome. Sometimes you just need a minute to feel sorry for yourself before you get it together to make shit better.

Place dissatisfaction is pretty major. It's not an easy fix. Here's to things getting better!

@silentsophia USAA is totally free.

Or just go with a credit union.

If you have military family, USAA is legit. Or if you're near San Antonio.

@Insomnia She speaks the truth. Gel is super legit like that.

Rough day. No one specific thing, just in general. Very tired and worn out. I'm pretty tired of fighting my own battles, dealing with the shit people start with me, being told I'm just a vile bitch, being fucked with, toyed with, confused, fighting other people's battles, and being dead last on everyone's priority list. I'm so thankful my best friend has a tolerant husband. She has a husband, three kids, a house that got flooded and she still makes time for me. Why can't anyone else?

It's only Tuesday and I'm already throwing a sweet pity party.