Posts made by Pandora

@Tinuviel No, you just said if you want to talk legal talk.

@Tinuviel Archive of Our Own rakes in millions in donations each year while hosting thousands of explicit stories tagged 'Extremely Underage'. They have a score of lawyers and win prestigious awards for their work in archiving said pornographic works featuring characters that are in fact specifically stated to be children.

Somehow, I think your stance might not be the correct one, even if it feels like it should be.

I don't mind throwing gasoline on this dumpster fire.

Where I live, the age of consent is 16, not 18. So all the arguments about 'Being attracted to anyone under the age of 18 makes you the devil' are null and void. Italy is 2 hours away and their age of consent is 14, which definitely makes me cringe but not my circus, not my monkeys.

At the end of the day, this argument would be better served from a point of view of what's better for real, actual children using the internet, not trying to punish people that don't give a damn about your country's age of consent.

Leave people who roleplay shit you don't like to it on a game that makes no pretenses about what can happen there, as opposed to them doing it secretly on family-friendly-seeming games that a parent casually looking over a real child's shoulder wouldn't realize has anything amiss going on.

@Admiral It's not exactly statless, since you can upgrade your weapons and augmentations. It just doesn't require complicated dice rolls or rule books, since combat is automated and you just choose whether you want to use your pulse-fist or your blaster gun or duck into cover this round and then the game outputs the results for you to emote.

@Apos Agreed - more code is my answer to just about anything/everything. But if a game (most games) don't have a coded way to force you to remain in a scene, it's seems a bit far-fetched to make consent into some big thing when there are more obvious issues at play than consent, for example a lack of Block-A-Motherfucker code. Blocking people is wonderful and I advise everyone to try it.

Almost none of the stupid MUSH games you people are playing have actual code to bind a character and lock them in the room with someone particularly odious - so if something is making you uncomfortable IC - leave. If it's making you uncomfortable OOC - leave even faster. If what they're doing is abusive or game-breaking - screenshot it - then leave!

Consent in gaming is a very separate creature from consent in real life, and while I understand that a lot of times people get in their feelings and need others to slam the brakes on their enjoyment because of their niche issues, the idea of having to OOCly play therapist to people who could just leave or else I'm a bad, insensitive, impatient person is fucking insane.

Remember when roleplaying used to be roleplaying, and organic RP happened without being pre-screened and pre-scripted, and none of us died from keeping it IC?

I miss those days.

The little red X in the upper right corner is always there.

@Kanye-Qwest (& others, I won't @ everyone again since I just did in a recent post)
Sound advice, truly solid, and while I didn't do the whole pulling to the side thing (because heart to hearts make my teeth hurt) I did point out that we'd celebrated father's day & that was when he went on his tangent about my already having mother's day and cheapening the holiday by celebrating it needlessly and yeah.

This father's day thing isn't even something I'm particularly passionate about, but reading this thread and seeing how common sense workplace decorum should be, or what efforts simply make sense for promoting equal voices & shutting down things that are obviously upsetting people, and then realizing my office really doesn't have that going on... I feel bitey about it.

@silverfox said in Accounting for gender imbalances:

It doesn't sound like people are able to work when he goes on these rants. Thay is what I would report to HR.

No, he's not usually keeping anyone from doing anything, if anything these topics come up when there are lulls in things to do.

@Coin said in Accounting for gender imbalances:

This is not to say that I think you should change your behavior, but I do challenge the idea that he's not a shithead outside of the moments and places where he chooses to behave that way, because if he doesn't behave that way outside of those places and moments, he's doing so consciously. he's either cherry picking when he espouses the views, or cherry picking when he shuts up, but either way, it shows a deliberate discrimination between when he feels he can get away with it, and when he can't.

Or maybe he goes on those rants on Discord and you don't care. I don't know.

I don't know what he does when I'm not around, but he never starts these conversations with myself because I've made it pretty clear I don't agree in the past. He has these one-sided conversations with colleagues who are open to discussion but aren't armed with statistics or the level of bullishness required to uphold their end of the conversation, which turns it into a very one-sided lecture of sorts.

@Kestrel He doesn't believe women aren't people, I mean it sincerely when I say he is sweet and friendly, he'll walk you home drunk in the rain without a second thought and he's never what I would consider overtly or willfully disrespectful, he doesn't even talk about people who don't like him behind their back. But yes, there's some deep-seated misogyny that he doesn't cop to, and while he's no incel blaming women for his lack of a love life, he's definitely got issues I have no real interest in probing due to a lack of general empathy. I don't care if he ever gets laid, I just want him to lay off, you know?

@Ghost 'You're being inappropriate' gets me a solid 'If they don't want to talk about it they can say so, we're all adults here' or a 'We're just talking about a holiday, it's not that big a deal'.

Keeping in mind, this is happening in jolly old England, where political correctness isn't the wave that it is in America, and many attempts at curbing things I find inappropriate, like mocking foreign accents, calling every brownish-skinned person a 'Paki', or referring to soccer as football, are met with snickers, eyerolls, and 'Go back to America with that shit', as I've mentioned here a time or two before.

@Kanye-Qwest said in Accounting for gender imbalances:

I mean, is he really a friend? Legit question, I see a vast difference between friendly acquaintances you hang out with and friends. If you ended up the victim of sex discrimination, would he have your back? If not, he's not a friend and if a grievance isn't filed, someone needs to at least let it 'slip' to on eof the scarier men in the office that he needs a refresher course on what is and isn't appropriate to discuss at work.

Yeah, he's one of my closest friends on this bloody isle. This, and his preference for Xbone over PS4, are my only complaints, and it just fucking sucks that this is big enough to cut him loose over if it doesn't stop pretty much immediately - father's day was the last straw for me, as someone that celebrated father's day with my daughter because dad was in another country for years and years. Again, he's not a He Man Woman Hater at least openly, if I was discriminated against for any of the several minority tick-boxes I can check off he'd be in my corner and he has been, another colleague was drunk/high and initiated a homophobic attack during a night out back when I was in my probation period & he was instrumental in getting him moved out of my area of the office and then removed from the business entirely - and this attack (verbal, but encroaching on my personal space like whoa) happened outside of work.

This isn't me defending his behavior, for the record. I am fed up and sickened by this particular habit of his. It's more my trying to paint the picture that it's not as clear cut as 'He's trash, cancel him.' and a frustration that misogyny isn't solely the purview of knuckle-dragging woman beaters, but sometimes the world-view of men who, wanting to believe men aren't as bad as they're made out to be, look to sources that pander to that outlook and wind up brainwashed by statistics that make it look like women are out to get them.

I work in a predominantly male office, though the majority of the admin/reception team is female. There's a guy in my department, very sweet, very friendly, we're friends on Discord, play video games together, so I just want to make it clear he's not a total shithead all the time.

But.

He's got opinions that are not workplace-friendly for discussion. He likes to argue about equal opportunity, cite fringe research that proves men are discriminated against more than women, that men are abused just as much as women but it goes unreported so no one cares, and this past Sunday was Father's Day, and he went on a riff in the office about how single mothers should not be allowed to celebrate Father's Day because that's making the holiday about themselves and renders it meaningless. He corners the few women in our department to make these arguments - it's never the other guys he's talking to, as most of them are not silly enough to engage in this type of behavior. It grates on my nerves to see women who haven't researched these topics unable to refute his 'published statistics' floundering as they make perfectly reasonable emotion-based or anecdotal arguments that he waves off, and he dismisses these arguments with statements like 'I don't need to be married or a father to have an opinion on these topics' despite being a 30 year old virgin with a deep-seated seeming vendetta against the secretly abusive girlfriends and wives and celebratory single moms of the world. When I swoop in to rescue them from this bullshit is when our (male) team lead will finally break it up, because this colleague haranguing the women in the office is one-sided 'conversation' but when I refute his points it's now an 'argument' that needs to be broken up.

I'm kind of at the point of considering physical bodily harm the next time he starts speaking at work, but at the same time I'm hesitant to go to HR to file a grievance against someone I consider a friend.

@Rinel said in Good TV:

@Pandora

I'm just flat out not watching it. I'm sure it's amazing and deserves everything I'm hearing about it, but the last thing I want to do after spending my day trying to get people out of jail is watch a documentary on the Central Park Five.

I can't begrudge anyone an unwillingness to watch it when I'm not watching it myself (yet. maybe one day. not today. prolly not tomorrow either.) but supporting it is important, lest people think it's not supported because it's not important.

Confession: I've been playing 'When They See Us' (Netflix) on mute in a browser tab I don't dare accidentally click on other than to move to the next of the four episodes. It deserves to be watched, and I'm doing my best to support it by giving it views, but I just don't think I can handle it.

@surreality Firstly, that's awful. Second, that's a good point, about it being an alt-outing preference due to how niche it would be. All rules have exceptions, and I think throwing a red flag on the play regarding something happening to you rather than something happening in your character's vicinity are absolutely different beasts.

If someone were being choked in front of you, it'd be my well-intentioned advice that you leave, but if it was your character, I'd hope you (or anyone in any relevant situation) could nope out of it (not out of the ICC, but the IC method) without being hassled, and I'd be the first to sharpen the pitchforks and light the torches against anyone that hassled you about it OOCly.

@Arkandel said in X-Cards:

Absolutely not. I can't imagine many things less savory than people - who already feel bad and who're obligated to stand out for themselves and say "ahem, sorry guys, this feels awkward" to have to either hide the fact or broadcast their vulnerabilities somehow (what, their wiki?) just in case they come up.

I don't think RP Prefs: No blood, gore, extreme violence, or rape. is 'broadcasting their vulnerabilities'? Are preferences vulnerabilities now? I think there is something empowering about owning your triggers and taking control of your exposures rather than being a wilting flower victimized by circumstance. I invite anyone with a particularly hard-line trigger (not someone that knows someone with a trigger, first-hand experience only please) that is willing to discuss it here or privately, to explain to me why it'd be better for them to leave a scene-in-progress - thereby inviting speculation or requests for explanation at that time, than to avoid the matter from the start.

Caveat: Don't spring toilet play or graphic depictions of your character's anal prolapse on people without some sort of warning, there is of course a scale of appropriateness and I am not advocating for a free-for-all of everyone's batshit crazy.

... That's oddly specific.

Don't kink-shame me, ok??

I'm open to the idea of people tagging or flagging ahead of time that they don't like X, Y, and Z, as it makes it very easy for me to exclude them from my RP thus avoiding triggering their anxieties or having my roleplay interrupted.

The idea of anyone being able to halt my RP mid-scene because something unexpected that they don't like has come up is less appealing. If I want to host a dinner party and lift the lid off of a silver platter and there's [redacted] underneath it as the dramatic climax of some vendetta, I'd rather not ruin it ahead of time by printing on the invitation that this seemingly innocuous dinner party may have extreme violence and gore.

I'd much rather just not invite anyone that is opposed to those things.

From OOCly planning roleplay scenes to OOCly approaching people to join IC factions to OOCly making people swear oaths of binding IC loyalty to even this, OOCly tearing people out of their immersion due to your own (perfectly valid) preferences or triggers - there is an increasing tendency toward roleplay being more of a staged play than improv, and if I wanted to follow a safe, no-surprises script, I could write a book instead.

TLDR; if you don't like something to the point where it's a roleplay deal breaker for yourself, the onus is on you to make these requirements known ahead of time or to remove yourself as swiftly and unobtrusively as possible without requiring anyone to cater to you. This is simply being considerate, and I believe it's important that we remember consideration is a two-way street, and not simply an entitlement for those who find themselves at odds with a scene's direction.

Caveat: Don't spring toilet play or graphic depictions of your character's anal prolapse on people without some sort of warning, there is of course a scale of appropriateness and I am not advocating for a free-for-all of everyone's batshit crazy.

Harry Potter: Wizards Unite

I'm so excited. Is anyone else excited? I fucking love Harry Potter.

@Ghost said in Fandom and entitlement:

Apparently not. You mean the one from 11 hours ago? Uh, sure? Anyway my response was to insomniac's post but it wasn't directly to him so I didn't tag him.

Yes, 11 hours ago. We can't all be around 24/7 like you, @Ghost some of us have real lives.

@Ghost said in Fandom and entitlement:

@Pandora It wasnt meant to be related to your comment.

Do you even pay attention when posting? I obviously responded to the post in which you quoted me.

@Ghost That's entirely unrelated to my comment, which is about the post-screening lamentations of movie-goers, not your imagined process of how casting decisions are made.