Posts made by PuppyBreath

@Seamus I didn't, but I just set it up. Looks interesting! Do you have a referral code I can enter? I'm redacted. (Feel free to pm me if you'd like to help, I didn't realize this category was public.)

@JinShei Thank you so much!

@Goblin I'm hesitant to have another crowdfunding campaign attached to my name because of job searching, and I'm not sure how long it would take to be usable. If I'd known sooner, I definitely would have been more organized, but I just learned about this today, and I wanted to be leaving tomorrow or Thursday.

@Auspice Thank you! I can't wait to hang out and be dragged places.

I really didn't want to have to come here asking for more money after everyone was so kind about helping me out with my cat's vet bill before he passed.But poverty kind of pushes dignity to the side, I suppose.

I've been living with my parents for the last year after I lost my job and home, then another job, then couldn't find another job before finally giving up because of an upcoming move. I'm supposed to be moving to Austin, TX in the next couple days, but my emotionally abusive father has decided to use this moment, the moment he'll finally get rid of me for good, to put his foot down about lending me anymore money. I don't blame him for not wanting to lend me more, honestly, but it does put me in an awkward spot.

I have about $50 squirreled away for gas, at this point, and I know that won't get me there. I don't need to eat or anything (I'll probably be freaking out too much, anyway!), I just need to get where I'm going.

If anyone has any spare cash I could borrow (I'm totally willing to pay people back once I get a job!), I would be forever grateful. If you're so inclined, my paypal is redacted, and my venmo is redacted. (Feel free to pm me if you'd like to help, I didn't realize this category was public.)

Thank you so much! I can't wait until I'm settled and can pay it forward when other people come up in need!

As a woman who excelled in a coding bootcamp and received a 4.0 while finishing a degree in Software Dev, I've largely given up trying to find a job in tech because I'm the worst interviewee and generally terrified of men. I'm not sure why I decided to get a degree in a field dominated by them. Add in my now sizable gap in work history, and I'm basically unhireable despite not sucking at the actual programming stuff. I get kind of angry when my friend tells me about her incompetent lead who got his job because he aced his interview while I can't get a job at all, and they won't promote her over hiring external guys who happen to interview well.

I wish I had something more constructive to add, but everyone else seems to have covered anything I would've said.

I've largely given up on RP with the shift in culture. Scheduling doesn't work well for me because my anxiety means I probably won't show up to our appointment because I've been stressing out about it since we set it up. I'm not proactive, I don't enjoy constant plots, and I enjoy playing aloof antagonists who have no reason to just randomly be places. I set myself up for failure, and then I fail. It's stressful, rarely fun, and few of the people I want to RP with give a shit about RPing with me. So now I pretend I'll write a book one day to fill the void, if I can just come up with something worth writing. Which is exactly why I suck at being proactive about RP to begin with.

@Sparks Thank you! He's really been a lifesaver. Even outside of the 'therapy' aspect, which is huge for me, I've lost 50 lbs (so far) so I can ride him. Thinking about my life without him is devastating. I realize how privileged I've been to have a horse at all, and I'm so grateful that my parents have been willing to keep him on their property for this long.

I really thought I could figure something out. I still have hope that I will, somehow.

I've been looking for work since I got fired, but even the big chains that are always hiring have said no thanks.Today unemployment told me I don't qualify for any benefits because in the quarters they look at, I didn't make enough money.

My horse and I get kicked out of my parents' home next month. My mom has been helping me pay my bills behind my dad's back, but she doesn't make much, either. She'll be helping me move across the country so I can squat in a room that a friend has been so kind to offer me so I at least won't be homeless.

I caved and put my dream horse, my most valuable asset both monetarily and emotionally, my main motivation for even continuing to exist most days, up for sale. The only person seriously interested in him doesn't want to pay for him.

This soul-crushing hopelessness is fucking exhausting.

Lost my job a month ago, unemployment has been non-communicative, not one place I've applied to has gotten back to me, my account's overdrawn once and last I checked I had $35 in my bank account, which will overdraw again in a couple days on a loan to the bank that's almost paid off. I'm getting kicked out of my home in June, and I was supposed to be moving to Texas to a room that a friend has for me, so I'm not really sure what to do about the job thing if I only have a month if someone were to hire me tomorrow. The only reason I can move at all is because my mom is willing to drive me, otherwise I'd just be homeless, I guess.

I fucking hate my life.

My memory of my childhood is pretty sketchy at best, but I think I was just always was a nerd? As much as I dislike who my stepdad is now, he was also a nerd and so it was never discouraged, other than a strict 2 hour time limit on the computer every day. Which is why I didn't start MUing until I moved out.

One of my favorite childhood memories that doesn't revolve around horses is watching a Star Wars marathon every Thanksgiving. I asked for the original trilogy EVERY Christmas, but never got it, so I could only watch it when it played on TV, and for some reason it always played around Thanksgiving.

We'd get most of the consoles as they came out. We watched Star Trek as a family, and my dad and I loved Aeon Flux when it originally played on MTV. I read every Xanth novel, and I was obsessed with the Last Unicorn and Legend (lol, horse theme?) and Labyrinth. I remember when Jurassic Park came to the 50 cent theater, my friend and I watched it as often as we possibly could.

As a child with severe, suicidal depression that I was too ashamed to talk to anyone about, being a nerd kept me a little more sane!

@Arkandel said in RL Anger:

So if you know someone is leaving in a couple of months you could decide you're not getting enough out of them to be worth it, especially if you have more applicants in the pipeline who might be just as good and they're not planning on leaving.

I get this to some extent when it applies from a business perspective. But, for reference, I'm a dog groomer with over a decade of experience in an industry that has a hard time getting and keeping decent, experienced people because it's not difficult (theoretically) for them to either open their own business or find someone else to hire them.

I was their only groomer, and their only employee. By firing me, they're losing their grooming business until they can find another groomer who, as I said, can be difficult to find.

I hate this industry so much.

My job wasn't paying me what we agreed I'd be paid, so I started applying to another job (didn't actually end up finishing the application process - it was on indeed) and was up front about the fact that I plan on moving this summer so I'm looking for something temporary, and they called my current job to tell them I'm moving and got me fired. So I'm unemployed again with only my last shitty paycheck in the bank.

Fuck my life.

I live near Omaha in Iowa (south of Council Bluffs). Honestly not for much longer, though, hopefully. If I have to live through another winter like this, I might drive into the river. Assuming my goddamned car will start in the cold.

@Auspice said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

Trust your friends. And I mean friends. The people who have been there through thick and thin. The people who have proven themselves. The ones that aren't selfish. The ones that will tell you how it is. The ones who can take the truth themselves without breaking down. If they tell you yes, go for it: go for it. If they tell you that you're going too far, pull back.

As a deeply anxious and self-loathing person, I agree with Theno and Auspice. Except that I don't have these kinds of friends so I guess I'm shit out of luck lol

I don't have any good advice for this, so I'm mostly replying out of solidarity. I know a lot of us struggle with these anxieties, but I also know that knowing that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. It's largely why I've stopped RPing at all, honestly. Like I don't have the emotional fortitude to push my RP on people who don't care that I'm around in the first place, I guess? That's how it feels in my head. I keep trying, though, when a concept excites me. And I keep failing.

Brains are dicks.

@Kumakun Hello, hello! Good to see you still around.

I know I have a Joe problem, but I'm not going to apologize for it.

I'm always up for encouragement and buddiness! I suck at actually getting the words written down, but I'm working on that, too.

Since I've messed something up, and I'll probably keep messing things up for awhile, I'm going to add a discord invite just in case anyone's interested! https://discord.gg/3sNUb32