Just want to say thank you for the secret that Staff gave my character. It was definitey an unexpected way to start the morning and not at all what I was imagining might come out of requesting a secret. I officially now have a million questions, a great plot hook, probably some RP that's gonna make my char look crazier than a shithouse rat, and I'm just thrilled.
So, I have major depressive disorder and a bunch of other bullshitty mental illnesses that that are too long to list and sometimes I fear that listing them will make people go, 'How the fuck are you functional?' BECAUSE I JUST DO OKAY.
I've been hit hard lately by feelings of just... general shittiness. I've been self-destructive, crabby, hard to please, and basically I am just constantly going through some shit. It gets tiring for me, it HAS to get tiring for the people around me, and a few months ago I ended my talk therapy because I had a lack of things to talk about. Me and my therapist would just sit there and bullshit.
If you're reaching this long, rambling bullshit, if you RP with me and I seem off, or my characters seem off, it's hopefully not forever. My brain is just like fucking salty all the time for no good reason. That's how mental illness feels.
Thanks for your consideration,
your resident mentally ill charlatan
I would really prefer quick scenes in real time. I've tried to do scenes over multiple days and it killed my interest in the last game I tried to do that in, I think.
I love buying gifts for others and this year I NAILED IT. I managed to get my girlfriendwife a lovely chunk on amethyst on a necklace. I fretted about it and wondered if she would like it... and she loved it. She's been very happy with it and that makes me happy.
I bought Super Smash Bros Ultimate and have been playing it.
I'm not super close to my family because they're dickheads, so I've been instead enjoying a lazy day hanging out with my online friends, which does somehow seem more special this year because I love them so much. 
Happy Holidays you guys!
I'm going to second what @VulgarKitten said. @Crawfish, you did me a solid when I needed some hope, both IC and OOC. You rock, and I won't forget your kindness.
I got high on a weed for the first time this weekend and I am suddenly really pissed off by anyone who has ever played an over the top dumb pothead. Looking at you, Jules.
Like, damn. All I did was get really chill about everything, eat for like four hours, and have a nap.
Can you actually smoke yourself retarded? Are past over the top pothead portrayals accurate? What is life?
Shoutout to @Apos for working hard as always and finding a gown I made that the system lost. Thank you!
Just a fun, brief note on Far Cry 6: a good friend of mine who I used to MU* with was a writer on Far Cry 5 and has been working on Far Cry 6! She's super stoked to see her work finally being introduced. I couldn't be more proud of her.
@ZombieGenesis My friend and I wanted to open an L&L game dealing with Heaven and Hell, as well as mythical creatures who fall into certain categories. I'm sure you can figure out where the vampires, demons, angels (fallen and otherwise), seelie fae, unseelie fae, etc go.
And also having them meet places on Earth and consort with mortals which is frowned upon. I have rosters and family made.
@ZombieGenesis Now that I've read into it, MH sounds kinda awesome. It also makes sense why you would only play it with people you could trust.
@somasatori That is amazingly sweet of you. Changing how you think about things doesn't always work out. I think that the description of ACT you gave me sounds like a looooot of guided journals I tend to buy, whether they just be silly ones like, '701 things about me' but ones that really make you think, you know? I like that idea and would be interested in seeing more examples!
Thank you for your kind response. Today was a rough day and my brain is my own worst enemy. Most of the time scenarios I think of in my head aren't as bad as I make them out to be. I know I need to change that way of thinking because it interferes with my relationships.
That being said, I appreciate you reaching out. Thank you - and I'm checking into the Shrink Space thing too. I told my partner earlier tonight I was seriously thinking about starting therapy again.
Had a slight breakdown last night and drove what I feel is an even bigger wedge between me and some of my friends. New friends even! I'm so good at this, damn. I'm thankful that the people who have known me for a long time think I'm worthwhile enough to stick around when I'm at my worst.
@GreenFlashlight I'm the only one who is that much of an asshole, and I thought about it earlier. Then I figured people would tell me it wasn't cool.
RIP Mr. Brimley. You were great in The Thing.
I enjoyed our one scene together with Quenia and Svana, I'd like to RP more with you at some point.
Work isn't getting any easier. My school wants their money back because I didn't complete this semester. My RSD is at an all-time high. I'm feeling like I need to take a 'big break from everything' but then I analyze those words and I'm like uh big of a break here are you talkin' chief. I don't know if I need to get back into therapy, get more sunlight, stop drinking so much, get out of this town, whatever. I just know that everything is shitty.
You're all saying 'childhood' and posting a bunch of deep bullshit.
For me it was The Pokey Little Puppy. We also had it on VHS that we ripped off PBS, and that fucker made me cry every TIME. That story of loss, being the underdog, redemption, and love really stuck with me. I've always been a pokey little puppy myself. I feel you, my little fuck up puppy.