Posts made by Sockmonkey

@egg For the time being! I might wander back at some point but I am really horrible at playing at multiple places at the same time. I don't have those kind of multi-tasking skills.

Uuuuuuuupdated.

@TheOnceler I barely remember those places beyond 'I played there'. Was it bad? It was a very long time ago.

@theonceler said in TheOnceler’s Playlist:

Minor update.

Downvote of sadness.

@lisse24 said in Character 'types':

More important than anything else, if I'm going to stick with a character for a long time, they have to feel real and solid to me.

So, I tend to make characters that are subtle or layered. If they have a tragic backstory, it's unlikely to come out in RP all at once, you might pick up hints of it in some RP, but my character will likely never drop the full story.

I'm with you on this. Nearly all of my WoD characters had substantial backgrounds which I always wrote for me, for my own benefit. Most of the details never came out in RP but I needed to go through that process to get into the head of the character I was creating and so I would know how to feel, how to react, how to move forward once IC. I know a lot of people can just roll out with a rough outline, a general concept and GO but I've always needed more to get into the skin of my PCs.

(do i have a problem?)

I tend to play bright, cheerful characters because I hit my stride, RPwise, when I have the freedom to write a lot of humor into my poses. Not that they are upbeat all the time -- I prefer there to be layers so when I am feeling like a meaty, character building scene that is more thoughtful, it's not out of form for my character to have those moments. Despite the happy impression that most of my characters give off, they are the most fulfilling to me when they possess a neutral moral alignment (chaotic neutral is my fav) -- I love it when people will write my characters off as adorable and harmless, not realizing that they are manipulative AF with all kind of morally grey ulterior motives.

When I am on a WoD game, sometimes I'll play characters that are super angsty -- just totally wounded, broken and barely maintaining people with tragic backgrounds. And while I can go down some dark, twisted roads with those characters and write some beautifully sad stories with people, I can only bear those roles for so long before it just gets too depressing and I need a break.

So far, I have cried three times today at work. And because I'm a woman, I get that 'oh she's being an emotional sad lady who can't handle stuff' reaction and is like...

NO, FUCKER! THESE ARE RAGE TEARS OF FRUSTRATION BECAUSE I'M SO GOD DAMN SICK OF YOU ASSHOLES KEEPING YOUR BOOTS ON MY THROAT AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

OMG. I have been dying waiting to see what @Apu would level up into. This is such a let down. 0/10

How do y'all RP with people when there is something specific that you need to RP about without scheduling? I mean, like, for example (and I'll use Arx here since that is the game I am playing on currently):

I get a message from Bob, saying that Sally told him to get in touch with me about a survey trip he is putting together. We need to have a scene to discuss this stuff. Should I just .. put him on watch and hope that the stars align at some point? Because my instinct would be to send an IC message back and then reach out OOCly to figure out when our schedules align.

I'd say my RP is half just hitting the grid/events and winging it, half plot-focused, scheduled RP. When it comes to the latter, I am not sure, with everyone's RL schedules and timezones, how you can move specific plots along without scheduling some scenes in advance.

I will want to RP with a person if:

..their poses make me feel something.
Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me nervous. Make me anxious about what is going to happen next. Make me stare at the screen and whisper 'holy shit' under my breath. Make me scramble to think how to react. Make me excited to RP with you again.

..their RP is generous.
I love it when I find someone whose RP gives me -- and others -- stuff to build off of. If I can leave a scene with a 'next step' in mind, it's been a good scene. And those kind of RPers inspire me to be better too! They prompt me to be reciprocal in that respect.

..they are super chill OOCly.
They are fun to talk to OOCly without being pushy or over-sharing. They express a desire to RP on the regular without giving me the impression that they feel entitled to it. I can go off and do my thing without them and they won't level a guilt-trip on me; but when we do get together and scene: MAGIC. If I have game questions, I can ask them without worrying about bias or IC-OOC crossover.

..they are not afraid to fail ICly.
I have found that the people who aren't fixated on being the MOST HEROIC HERO or the PRETTIEST PRINCESS are the people I have the most fun RPing with. They are less obsessed with winning and more concerned with telling an interesting story and, often, the best stories come out of failure and how one deals with adversity. Give me a fuck up over a hero any day of the week.

I will not want to RP with a person if:

..their poses give me nothing.
My general preference is for wordy poses with a lot of flavor thrown in but quick poses can be just as sharp, entertaining and impactful. What KILLS me is when I will do a pose where I've included several things for the other person to react to, ask some questions, pass the ball to them and get:

Jane doe smiles. "Yes."

Like. What am I supposed to do with that? Not RP with you ever again, that's what.

..they consistently page me the second I log on.
For fuck's sake. Give me a second. There is nothing more annoying than having someone page me immediately. Every. Single. Time. I. Log. On. Please, give me space. Even if I like you and we are friends, just let me breathe.

..they make our romance RP the totality of their character.
I like RPing romance. I do not like making it the entire point of my characters. It's just something in their lives, you know? If they have a romantic partner, they can still exist outside of that other person. We are not one person now. We do not need to be in every scene together. We do not need to run things by each other, have the same interests, need to be in all the same plots, know all the same people, etc.

..they make me their RL therapist.
I prefer to keep a distance between myself and most of the people I RP with. Yes, general pleasantries are fine! Knowing a little bit about our respective lives is cool! But RPing is my time to relax and have fun. I do not log on to hear about internet stranger's life drama and/or insecurities. I do not log on to listen to them dissect what someone said to them and figure out if it was benign or if they were being passive-aggressive and actually hate them. I do not log on to be a shoulder. Sure, there are folks that I have gotten close to and would absolutely help them work through shit but those are close relationships built up over time. This does not apply to the majority of people so please don't put your shit on me. I have enough of my own shit to deal with and this is my funtime to decompress from that shit, not deal with yours.

..they are insecure AF.
Please. If I do not answer your page right away, please don't bombard me with worry. 'Did I do something to upset you? Are you mad at me? Please let me know if I did something to irritate you! Are you OK?' I am probably in a scene and posing. I am probably at work and idle. But constantly having to validate that things are OK is going to quickly get us to a point where things are NOT OK.

@theonceler said in Good or New Movies Review:

Jesus. That's a hell of a series of takes on Black Panther, I guess.

Anyway, it looks like someone at DC accidentally okayed a really great movie. I bet they got fired afterward.

That looks awesome!

@jibberthehut Last Thursday, I thought it was Friday until late in the day when my project manager asked me to book some time the following day so we could go over a project. When I realized I had an entire day left in the work week still, I was like 'FUCK'. I was so mad.

I was afraid I was skipping around days again and having a MOMENT.

@jibberthehut said in Coming Soon: Arx, After the Reckoning:

Game is down, Severe thunder storm warning, Tornado warning. WTF, I want my thursday night back.

Wait, it's Thursday?

A game set in Pixar's The Incredibles world.

(Maybe I shouldn't post off-the-cuff things at 1a..)

So. SO.

I mentioned in the RL Things I Hate thread (or somewhere, I can't remember) how I get migraines. And I have sumatriptan injections to deal with them. And how they work FANTASTIC ... when I can get the injections to work. But out of the 12 shots I am allotted per month, I usually can only get, like, 3 or 4 of the autoinjectors to actually fire.

Well.

My pharmacy started to carrying a different brand of generic and they are so much better and I am actually going to be able to use all 12 shots that I get every month and not have to cry through migraines that I cannot treat. YES. FUCKING YES.

I don't think the solve is anything mechanical. It is a balance of plot and staff-player relations; basically, as someone earlier said, the tone you set for your game.

It's easy to be a hero if the world that is created is black and white, if the villain everyone is up against is Big Bad. But if you make things grey and have conflict where neither side is wholly right or wrong, it will be much harder for players to always do the 'right thing'. It will force people to make choices, especially if you forward plots where those choices come at a cost. Saving the lives of many comes at the price of a few -- but those few are important. So what do you do? Make the villain well-rounded, someone/thing that people can empathize with, maybe even identify with their goals -- do they jump sides, try to change their methods?

Pair this with everything that @Apos said and I think you have an environment that fosters people to wear many different kinds of hats, not just white ones.

A Quiet Place was wonderful. I wouldn't say it was scary -- just tense. And it was emotional. I cried (although, admitted, it doesn't take much for me to cry).

My migraine medication -- sumatriptan injection -- is great. When I give myself a shot, most of the time it starts working within a couple minutes.

What's not so great? The autoinjector it comes in does not trigger a lot of time time. My insurance only allows me to get 12 shots per month. I usually got through 3 - 4 autoinjectors to get one that works.

God dammit.

@tyche said in RL Anger:

@emmahsue said in RL Anger:

Bitches, I'm not asking for syringes for fun. I need to take my motherfucking insulin. Give me the goddamn needles.

I hate this. It's easier to get meth or heroin around here than it is to get insulin (or needles for your pens). I should be able to get this stuff unregulated over the counter.

You have to get a prescription for needles? Have things changed? When I wanted to pierce my own belly button back in the 90s (yeah, I am old AF), I wandered into the pharmacy and was like 'One needle, please!' The pharmacist was like 'I can't give you one needle, you lunatic, but I can sell you this bag of syringes' while giving me the you must be a junkie side-eye.

That you can't just get needles anymore is all kinds of wrong.

Also: Deep apologies for young, stupid Sockmonkey for using medical supplies for her ill-concieved idea.

(Sidenote: I was unsuccessful piercing my belly button. Insulin needles, I soon discovered, are much too small for such things. O WELL.)

So, I hate my job. It's become this toxic cesspool of suck where I am completely marginalized and spend my days wondering why I even bother.* As if I don't hate my job enough, someone that I don't really get along with has been moved to my team. Maybe it won't be so bad, I told myself. And then this happened..

I'm sitting at my desk, thinking through a UX problem. I am in a mental zone. He comes over, taps on my desk (I had headphones on). I hold up a finger so I can finish my thought/what I am doing and then turn to him.

Me: What's up?
Him: Hey, can you make me an admin on Invision? (Invision is a prototyping app)
Me: Suuure but why do you need to be an admin?
Him: So I can do admin stuff.
Me: Well, yeah. But what sort of admin stuff do you need to do?
Him: You know. Admin stuff.
Me: What stuff?
Him: (exasperated that I didn't just DO IT) You know, add people and edit and .. ADMIN STUFF.
Me: Okay but I already set you as a manager and that allows you to do all that stuf-...
Him: (interrupts) Make me an admin. (walks away)

This guy isn't my boss. He's not anyone's boss. He's a designer. I just sat at my desk, stunned that he ordered me around like that. I was shaking with anger and I was doing that stupid girl thing where I was getting tears in my eyes from being so mad. Now, the only difference I can see from one's status being Manager and Admin is that an Admin can change people's statuses. So after a few minutes, I was like .. what-the-fuck-ever and I made him an admin. I think ping'd him on Slack:

Me: you've been made an admin. i would appreciate it if you would not speak to me like that again. ordering people around is disrespectful.
Him: Thanks.
Him: Sorry you felt that way. Wasn’t ordering you around.
Me: 'make me an admin' and then walking away is an order
Him: I said please and thanks. But, if you did feel disrspected, I apologize. It wasn’t intended, I wasn’t trying to be mean. Will you forgive me?
Me: you haven't acknowledged that you did anything wrong in this scenario, just that you feel bad, i guess, that i came away with negative feelings. there is nothing to forgive if you don't feel you did anything wrong. just try to be cognizant of how you treat your coworkers in the future.

At that point, he came over to my desk and talked to me in person. Which was better. He apologized for being rude and I told him that what he did made me really upset, that he shouldn't do it again and that he should be more aware of how he treats his coworkers. Him coming over did make me feel better but we will see if it was sincere or if this behavior happens again. he did thank me for bringing up my feelings and I was glad that I did it since my tendency is to keep things bottled up. But god dammit, did that day suck.

** I am trying to get out of there. The sticky problem is that because of the marginalization, I don't have the best stuff to put in my portfolio. Uuuuurgh.*