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    Posts made by surreality

    • RE: [Request] Policy Template

      @Arkandel I always like to think of it this way:

      The people I want to hire as staff generally do not need to be told any of <things in policy>, because they know what's OK and what is not OK because they're ethical people and think before they act.

      I'm not hand-selecting and hiring and screening the players. Players can come from anywhere, be known or unknown, be oldbies or brand new to the hobby, and will have different expectations based on their experiences, lack of experiences, and so on.

      The latter are going to need guidelines to make sure they are all on the same page and understand the expectations. While this is helpful for staff as well, it's not as necessary, because players aren't selected and screened in the same way.

      posted in MU Questions & Requests
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Do you believe in paranormal things?

      Oh, shit. I'm going to be typing a while here.

      The quotes I'm picking aren't to pick on the posters making them. They're just perfect examples of the point I think is important to make.

      @Cupcake said in Do you believe in paranormal things?:

      That is an awesome story, true or not.

      Here's the thing: that statement, like a lot of other things, is potentially dangerous shorthand for a more complex reality. (I picked that one because it's the shortest, most succinct example.)

      The story can be true without the implied conclusion.

      The difference between the story and the implied conclusion being true is very different, and it's a difference that can, has, and will continue to have a damaging impact on people's lives.

      The events are what they are.

      The implied conclusion there is that the spirits of the babies on the steps were crying from beyond the grave until such time as they were given a proper burial.

      That can be a false conclusion without calling the actual observed events or 'the story' into question in any way. For instance, if the implied conclusion was, instead, that cats were in fact gathering on that concrete area and wailing, and when the concrete area was destroyed, the cats found somewhere else to do their thing, would you question the 'the story' part, or the implied conclusion?

      Probably neither, but as you call the veracity of the observed events into question based on the conclusion, you're walking a dangerous line. The conclusion is what needs to be called into question -- not the events themselves.

      Pretty much any event can be explained. Maybe not now, but more on that in a moment.

      As @Chime mentions, we once thought the mentally ill were possessed by demons and would torture them rather than offer treatment. We know mental illness exists, now, and thus it isn't the observable phenomena that is 'untrue', it's the conclusion that has been drawn to explain it.

      Substantial harm can come from this in the same way that believing in every wild theory that comes down the pike can cause substantial harm.

      Further, when you call the events themselves rather than the implied conclusion 'untrue', you're automatically putting someone on the defensive and essentially calling them a liar, and that is a challenge to their credibility right out of the gate.

      It's essentially the opposite of the actual scientific method: 'I don't like the conclusion, so the events probably never occurred'. That's not how the scientific method works, and a lot of people go there pretty fast, often without ever realizing they're doing so.

      My favorite example of this comes from a relatively quirky case study. There's a doctor up in Canada, if I recall correctly, who has been doing studies on the effects of electromagnetic fields on the brain. His last name is Persinger, he's likely easy enough to google if you're curious.

      What's interesting is this: what @Arkandel mentions about known conditions causing certain experiences is something he's been able to reproduce in a lab. (Though, boo, man! Sleep paralysis is hagging and the incubus lore, shadow figures and sensed presences are what went down in this lab setting. 😉 ) He was able to, by manipulating the electromagnetic field around a test subject, cause them to 'sense someone in the room' when no one was there, and reproduce other, similar, commonly reported 'paranormal phenomena', just by manipulating these magnetic frequencies.

      And so, there was a woman. She kept sensing a presence in her room. She couldn't sleep. She kept feeling like someone was hovering around her bed at night, and it was freaking her right out. She was experiencing genuine, actual, discomfort over these events.

      She had, of course, endless people telling her it could not be a ghost or creepy actual presence in her room, and therefore, she was nuts, so the events themselves could not be occurring.

      That is not helpful, and people were happy to completely dismiss her problem as this because it's a commonly accepted potential conclusion. (It just wasn't the correct one.)

      She had people telling her, no doubt, there was a ghost in her room wishing her ill or similar.

      Also spectacularly not helpful.

      Then, gods only know how, somebody thought to ask this guy to come in with his kit to check out the room and see if, hey, maybe something in the room was putting off that odd frequency range that makes a lot of people's brains think there's someone looming over them ominously.

      The alarm clock right where 'the ominous figure' would have been standing was.

      They replaced the alarm clock, and her very real problem went away. Thus, it isn't always a case of 'we have a commonly accepted conclusion' and 'we have a fringe theory conclusion' and suddenly you can only choose between those two things as if the answer must be there.

      To me, this is the critical difference between dismissing experiences based on assumed conclusions, and testing those experiences to find out what is actually going on.

      (There's a lot more interesting stuff about that study, mainly that different people respond differently to certain things in terms of sensitivity to the stimuli which is really quite fascinating, but that's another giant blurt for after today's slate of RL work gets a round of time. Alas, clove break over. :/)

      @TNP said in Do you believe in paranormal things?:

      No. With a qualifier. I acknowledge that there's still lots of things we don't know yet and that today's 'paranormal' could be tomorrow's science. However, I've yet to see or experience anything that leads me to believe that such things do in fact exist, explained or not. I could be wrong but the burden of proof is on the one making such claims. This does, of course, apply fully to religion as well.

      This, to me, is clearer on where I think people's brains need to be on this, provided it's, again, not the experience itself, divorced from a conclusion, that's being called into question, but the conclusion as 'the claim'.

      It's the difference between:

      "I saw something weird in the hallway that looked like a person!"

      which could have any number of explanations, and:

      "I saw the ghost of my grandmother in the hallway!"

      too, in terms of how those experiences are being related. Which is also incredibly important; people generally aren't necessarily good at examining the basics like this, though, especially when encountering something that's unusual or somehow frightening to them.

      Just like the experience can't be thrown out because you don't like the conclusion, you can't build the conclusion into the experience itself.

      Personally, I grew up around a lot of weird, weird shit going on more or less all the time. I don't pretend I know what it is. I would love to find out, some day, though I doubt I will in any greater sense. A lot of the 'common conclusions' are, frankly, comforting as hell! (The ancient-of-days username was surreality_vortex, as in, 'weirdness magnet totally doesn't even cut it'. There's a reason for that. 😕 )

      I actually love the ghost hunting shows! ...for plot ideas, though. There's nothing trustable there, really, as 'evidence' of anything. Some of the 'if you have black mold in your house it can fuck with you in the following ways' or 'you should really check for mice if you hear scratching in the walls first before freaking out' kinds of things are, I think, helpful, especially for people exceptionally prone to blame 'the ghosts' for things like black mold that can do them very real and preventable harm, or have the potential to be helpful. Sadly, a lot of that has gone the way of the dodo in favor of sensationalist (sketchy-as-fuck) bullshit.

      I think I'm sitting over in @Thenomain's corner again, though I can't be sure!

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Flights 'n Tights MUX

      @Thenomain Meh. And we did have four forum trolls who lurved LGBT-baiting in particular... 😞

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Flights 'n Tights MUX

      @silentsophia To be fair, that was referenced in the ad, as part of the reason for the game to exist.

      Which makes sense considering the way the community used to react, rightly or wrongly, to the kind of interpretations people want to play there (and wanted to play enough elsewhere that having a place dedicated to it does fill a need/have a niche with genuine interest/etc.) around the time the game was created.

      Pretty much any 'adult' game is going to have an element of fetish material in it. That's, often, kinda the actual point. So I don't personally see that as a big deal; I take that as a given, and then play there or not like I would anywhere else.

      By the same token, if someone made a game that fetishized, uh, green-haired short round busty artist chicks with a portrayal I personally found offensive, I'd probably be speaking up about it. (OK, I might not bother, but I would also not feel I had to keep silent about expressing my discomfort.)

      I always got the impression random ad hominem crap was unwelcome in ad threads, but crit of the game was fair play. I could be wrong, though.

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Flights 'n Tights MUX

      @Ninjakitten I think it's that initially, the OP's (clear, positive, nothing in the world wrong with it) post got hammered in downvotes, for the most part. Which was kinda shocking and more than a little sad.

      (It may be the former collective of trolls with their latest crop of sockpuppets, which doesn't seem horribly unlikely, but I guess we'll never really know. 😕 )

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Retail "Horror" Stories

      @Cobaltasaurus I would absolutely report that. Absolutely. Bullying like that is simply not OK. I am so sorry you had to deal with that. 😞

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Retail "Horror" Stories

      @Cobaltasaurus I've had that one happen, too. I left one night, schedule said one thing. (It was always posted on our register, couldn't avoid seeing it when we turned in our keys for the counter doors literally right on top of it.)

      After I had left that night, they wrote in a change to the schedule that had me coming in six hours earlier.

      No one called. No one said anything. So I come in when I was originally scheduled to come in, and oh, the screaming.

      I ask when the change was made, and this conversation actually happens:
      Me: "When did this get changed?"
      Coworker: "Last night!"
      Me: "After I left?"
      Coworker: "Yeah!"
      Me: "Did anybody try to contact me to let me know this?"
      Coworker: "No, you're supposed to keep track of that yourself!"
      Me: "How, exactly, when it's written in at midnight when the store is closed and no one informs me? Am I supposed to call in every morning?"
      Coworker: "That's not my problem, and of course not! We shouldn't have to waste our time answering that!"
      Me: "Did anyone try to call this morning when I wasn't here?"
      Coworker: "No, why would we?"
      Me: quietly "...I am so glad I am moving to a different state next week... "

      Nobody saw a damn thing wrong with any of the above. Clearly, if this was never a problem for anyone before, the remainder of the staff had vastly superior psychic powers to my own.

      Of course, were that actually the case, I suppose they would have known the place would end up closed in a few years due to consistent horrible mismanagement, which certainly didn't surprise me. 😕

      Shame, too. It was generally a really nice department store, and their fat lady clothes were less-than-typically depressing (but $$$, so the employee discount had been nice).

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: [Request] Policy Template

      Are you looking for boilerplate policies pre-written for a game, or for a wiki template?

      I can't help on the former but could probably paste you code for the latter if you want.

      posted in MU Questions & Requests
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: RL Anger

      That day when positively everything goes wrong.

      You don't really sleep because you have to be up early. And you're still up earlier than you had to be. But you've had it drilled into your head that there is a timetable and you better be ready to go by 10 and you tell the other folks who need to go the same thing (even if you are not a fire and brimstone asshat about doing it).

      You end up working your butt off in that time because, hey, you're up, and you may as well do something productive about it.

      But because you weren't a fire and brimstone asshat about it, everybody else is late.

      Including the person who was so caught up in everyone being on time. Who called exactly on time (only to find you ready and the other person puttering around in the world's longest shower, and to say 'oh, I'm not ready yet either') to further grouse about how you're never on time. (Even though you, and not even the person bitching, are.)

      You get to the store, and miraculously find a good deal on file boxes. Which you need. And you get yelled at.

      You find a cushion you need, because you're getting old and you now understand why your mom used to wince whenever she saw you sitting on the floor, for less than half everything you've found while you've been searching for online for the past two weeks. Not sitting on the floor is, at the moment, not an option. And you get yelled at.

      You find floor padding (which you need for the same reason, also because standing around for hours is not doing your fucked up spine any favors and you're going to be doing a lot of that, too) for, again, half what you've found any other time before, and you've been looking desperately since October. You still get yelled at, because you make the mistake of mentioning they can do double duty as knitting blocking mats so you can finally block that shawl you crash-coursed your way through for your mother's Xmas present in 2 days, because now it is clearly frivilous, not twice as useful, for some reason known only to complete idiots.

      Mr. In A Hurry asks where Mr. Slowpoke is. Mr. Slowpoke has gone seeking something he mumbled into nowhere and so when you call over, "I don't know!", Mr. Slowpoke thinks you heard him when you were supposed to follow him and also mishears you as saying, "I don't care" so then there's even more yelling at.

      You explain, and get an 'Oh' but no less yelling at.

      Then, you're waiting in the deli line, and waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Waiting long enough most of the line has given the hell up and left, so when they start calling out numbers, they do so too fast, and call four of them at once. Including yours and the person after you. And when she plows ahead of you while you're handing them the number, they (obviously) take yours, and you get to listen to her snarking you loudly to someone else, clearly meant to be heard, at length.

      When you quietly mention, "I have been right here," this triggers psycho-from-hell woman screaming in your face and threatening violence for a full ten fucking minutes with every possible threat and insult in the book.

      But now, of course, they're getting your order ready, so you get to stand there and wait for the slowest deli counter in creation to slice your father's frickin' prosciutto because he's going in for knee replacement surgery on Thursday and it was the one thing he asked you to please get, because he physically can't stand at the damn counter waiting himself, which means you can't even walk away from the crazy bitch screaming in your face and every damn time you turn around to look away and keep quiet she just circles around and keeps fucking going like the energizer bunny of 'why haven't they removed this frothing psychotic from the premises yet'.

      You then get yelled at more for 'making a scene', at which point you go out to the car to smoke, because fuck that, and you're shaking too damn hard because you don't do physical violence and people hurtling torrents of abuse at you out of nowhere is pretty fucked up, and you'd kinda like to go cry where nobody can see you.

      You get two puffs into your clove before it sputters out, and the lighter is now magically out of fluid.

      It will be a half hour drive home, and you know you're just going to continue to get yelled at.

      You do.

      By the time you get home, you're still shaking so hard you can barely type, because you're still easing down from the full-blown 'am I having a heart attack?!' panic attack.

      Naturally, you have plans. You warn folks you might be a little late. It's just going to be an hour.

      That still manages to shoot those plans straight to hell and everyone is upset.

      They're not yelling, not even the littlest bit, but you can tell everyone is disappointed, and somehow, that is a hundred times worse.

      I fucking hate this day.

      I really fucking hate this day.

      It isn't a day of being pecked to death by sparrows, but of rabid kamikaze pigeons or some shit, and goddamn.

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Flights 'n Tights MUX

      @Thenomain I am especially wordy when sleep deprived! (And make even less sense than usual, but hopefully that isn't the case there.)

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Flights 'n Tights MUX

      @Thenomain I kinda see this as the same thing. Some themes are more narrowly defined than others; this is a pretty narrowly-defined one.

      I mean, arguably, someone could create a game set in an all girls Catholic boarding school in the 1950s, allowing players to only play students -- in which case 'no male PCs' would be in effect. I don't imagine a game like that will ever come about, but it definitely would fit the 'the theme is narrow enough to be exclusionary by default' in ways I can't really get angry about or feel put out by.

      It could be argued that it's thematically exclusionary, but I think (and I think this is agreement here) that's something of a diminishment of what 'exclusionary' really means.

      Generally, I do recall a lot of grousing in the late 90s/early 00s re: "OMG why are all the straight chars from my favorite comic suddenly gay when I log into a comics game?" Which, if a game is advertising itself as true to canon, is a legit complaint, as it would be a legit complaint if someone made a canon gay character straight. (Not so shockingly, back thenabouts, I somehow doubt people groused as much about the latter as they did the former.)

      So I do see where that statement comes from, partly because if I recall correctly, I've seen ads for this game on MUDconnector/etc. going back a very long time. So while this may not be so much the case now (I dunno, I don't do comics games), I would not doubt for a second that it was the environment of the time in which the game was originally made.

      That it was happening often enough for there to be all the grousing in the first place also suggests there's definitely an audience for it. If that's the case, hell... making a game exclusively dedicated to that is, IMHO, pretty laudable. It gives the people looking for this specific versatility a safe space to explore it, and spares the people who hate it when people do that the grief. I mean I just cannot remotely see this as a bad thing.

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Flights 'n Tights MUX

      I think part of the confusion is that we're used to LGBT, and they leave the L out of things from the outset.

      To be entirely fair, I believe there was a 'girls only' game that if I'm remembering correctly was anime-themed a ways back. I never went there myself but heard rumblings about it on and off while I was on Shang.

      The playerbase consisted primarily of male players, which should surprise exactly no one, for similar reasons to those @ixokai describes, just the flip side of them. Being not especially keen on the typical fetishized representations I heard about, well... yeah, sure, I could play my gender of choice and being bi I wouldn't have much of an issue, but I'm massively uncomfy with those kinds of 'I exist as a sex object and don't really understand much about what I'm even doing, tee hee BOOBS <bounce giggle bounce slippery bounce oooh>' representations, and really don't want to RP with them. I have seen Shang"Lesbians" sniffing each other's crotches in greeting and played like giggle-twit braindead nymphos way too much to want anything to do with that particular crowd. 😕 So I feel people on this front when they get uncomfy about 'fetish bait' vibes.

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Flights 'n Tights MUX

      While this place specifically excludes the kind of thing I play (I only play female characters), I appreciate that they say they don't want female PCs right on the tin. It saves me and them both time, grief, and potential arguments or confusion, and bluntly, I appreciate that.

      It's not the game for me, though I don't get the impression I would be unwelcome as a player (female, bi) if I wanted to play a male character that's gay, bi, queer, or open-minded straight.

      I just don't play male characters. (I'm hilariously bad at it, so I refrain from inflicting that on anyone, anywhere.)

      I am all for folks building themselves a game for a specific group or interest. That may mean I'm excluded, but in this case, I don't get the impression it's because I have a vag RL -- @ixokai, I get what you're saying, though, that that's not necessarily a good thing (that's a whole other layer of discussion really) -- but because I prefer to play things that have them, too, so this is a case of their choices and my choices not jiving. Which is OK.

      I'm OK with having cooties, I guess. I'd rather know up front, and they say as much, so I can't really get riled. I'm not entitled to play everywhere and anywhere, and I'm cool with that.

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Short Story Contest

      @DnvnQuinn said in Short Story Contest:

      I already know someones gonna do the ole "Anthropologists study a long dead Alien civilization.But it turns out, the anthropologists are aliens and the civilization is HUMANS!" so now I have to think up something original!

      Literally my first thought, and second thought, yep.

      posted in Announcements
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Kushiel's Debut

      Eh, I can kinda see it in a 'if I stand on my head and squint' sort of way. As in, when that kind of thing comes from a known staff alt with major IC authority, it can be easy for people to assume there must be some OOC truth to it in addition to 'IC, this is perceived to be the case by this character, even if it's unrealistic for them to believe it' -- or at least more so than if a random individual on the game did the same thing.

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Ignore users

      Thank you @Glitch, @WTFE. This is much appreciated.

      posted in Announcements
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: A new game?

      @BigDaddyAmin said in A new game?:

      If you want to play angel/human hybrids who chain each other and then shove sticks up their urethras, you can play at Kushiel's Debut.

      OMG why did no one tell me this was what that place was about!!! <rushes off to app immediately>

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Kushiel's Debut

      @VulgarKitten I'm kinda with @Arkandel on this one.

      For instance, there's like... very few? people in this hobby that I actively, persistently, dislike. I could count them on a hand and have fingers left over. There's Rex/Sovereign, Jeurg, a chick who seemed to make it her life's mission to make me miserable OOC for no reason I could ever fathom other than that her life had taken a turn for the suck (which I could still empathize with) and a chick from Shang made entirely out of the crazy sauce on a level that's just whooooooaaaaaaa man look at ALLLLLLLLLLLLL of those colors. (Neither of the women post here.) But that's really it, and I don't have to deal with them much, if ever.

      The people I argue with tooth and nail here from time to time I don't actually hold any ill will toward, which I think is the key thing. It isn't so much being desensitized as it is not feeling the need to hold grudges.

      I remember shit, but it only tends to surface in a 'waaaaaaaaitaminnit... ' way when I see some kind of inherent contradiction (which is what I think you were aiming for here?) or, more often, to remind myself to be a little cautious or 'clarity first' around <person> because they don't like <subject> and I should avoid it around them (or conversely, they tend to enjoy <subject> I dislike and I need to make it clear to them I'm not interested in that particular joyride).

      OK, I also remember shit when it's stupidly obscure and funny, like in the wayback SWOFA days when Lethe claimed to be a swarm of sentient cats. (Whyyyyyyy is that still in my brain? I dunno, but it still makes me giggle.)

      There is stuff around these parts that will still piss me off. It's pretty rare, though. The creepy rape thing a month or so ago, for example, didn't really bug me, beyond the extra moment it took to register, "Did I really read what I think I just read? Whuuuuuuuuuuuut." Usually, the only things that actually piss me off are when I see something that makes me want to tear out my hair because I can't tell if someone is genuinely clueless or being deliberately obtuse to be a jackass. (Considering how often both happen around here, uh... it's surprising I still have hair? Or blood pressure that doesn't require medication? 😄 )

      I've been posting on these places since an unholy forever ago, though. I actually found a few scratch pad text files of posts recently when doing a computer backup, and... goddamn, yeah, I've actually mellowed a lot.

      I would have wanted to punch c.2001-2003 me right in the damn mouth and wince hard when I think about it. More than I do about anything anyone else has ever said, really.

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Kushiel's Debut

      To be fair, there's an option #3 there: wasn't online/wasn't interested in either scene, too.

      posted in Adver-tis-ments
      surreality
      surreality
    • RE: Let's talk about what makes a Mush succesful or a failure in regards to the questions presented herein.

      @Coin said in Let's talk about what makes a Mush succesful or a failure in regards to the questions presented herein.:

      If you want me to order you around, that's totally different. We can negotiate.

      Just remember 'red' means stop immediately, 'yellow' means proceed with cau--shit, not that kind of negotiation, sorry.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      surreality
      surreality
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