Posts made by surreality

As a quick reference, this is the list of spots currently available:

http://horrormu.com/index.php/Archetypes

12 currently, which is a great range of options.

Seconding @Goldfish completely. This one was really wow -- and the first two were also spectacular.

Definitely a good time to pop in!

@thenomain It is installed -- it's just installed as shown there, with step three being essential if you want a wiki to run, since in the wiki install process, you have to feed it a MySQL password.

If you use root, which is the default for wiki installs, it'll glitch hard with no explanation, and it's due to that step three condition in the tutorial. (It may do this with non-root accounts as well by default.) It kept insisting it could not, would not, not with a goat or in a moat, connect to MySQL until that adjustment was made, on a default install of the LAMP droplet. So, welp, another hoop. Found out the hard way yesterday.

There is a new hurdle on DigitalOcean with this one, which appears after you do the mysql_secure_installation step. Not sure how new it is, but it definitely is a thing that is.

The 'step three' in this tutorial is necessary to allow the wiki to communicate with the MySQL database unless you create a separate wiki user, and don't use root. You may want to use a separate MySQL user for the wiki, but if you don't, you will need to follow these steps to allow the wiki to communicate with MySQL. If you don't, root wouldn't connect (as of this morning), but this change did fix it immediately.
https://www.digitalocean.com/community/tutorials/how-to-install-mysql-on-ubuntu-18-04

@arkandel I dunno. I know what I'd want to do with a screaming buttload of disposable cash. Most of it has little to do with me.

I'm not much inclined toward the 'keep up with the neighbors'/competitive mentality, though, which I recognize is a bit atypical. I just find the whole thing pretty awful and toxic.

I don't care that several of our current neighbors have boats or RVs and we don't (even if it'd be nice to have those things to be able to use them for travel), for instance. I do care that friends of mine are struggling with major health concerns that money could help. I don't care who on the street has a brand new third car while we have one used bucket between us, but I do care about my second cousins, who started a business that's struggling to get off the ground while they work themselves half to death to keep up with unexpected demand that more employees and equipment and space (which they can't presently afford) could help out over night.

It depends on what matters to someone, in the end. If you give none fucks about the Joneses, no matter what your bank account says, you're going to be much happier in life.

@arkandel While I am not even a little bit surprised by the findings there -- which are along the predictable 'money doesn't buy happiness' line -- I will say this: there sure isn't a dearth of miseries it can't make fuck all, partly, or at least some measure of the way off.

Welp, our very good and useful doc is switching to a concierge practice come March, for $1800/person/year.

BOO.

Tame, agreed. But wacky in its own right, in a fairly high concentration.

I mean. I'm sitting here thinking 'at least they got the temperature right if it's a vampire', and recalling the 'hot vampiric seed' incident from the 90s that briefly broke my brain on the '...but but but but but <headsplode for all the reasons>' with the same eye-crossy WTF impulse it caused 20 years ago. And giggling. There will always be giggling.

@bad-at-lurking You should. There is also a truly Les Mis moment, which I thought would be hard to beat -- but that did it.

@mietze Oh, oh, good RP of bad sex? BRING IT.

Slip and fall in the shower?
Get tangled up in that strappy getup?
Faceplant while trying to wrestle off goth boots?
Baffled by that bra closure?
Too drunk to fuck?
Bizarre body piercing collision incident?

...yes, please.

@mietze It is criminal I can't upvote this two dozen more times at the very least. I kinda shy away from this now because I'm so hopelessly out of practice at this point, but... I dunno, I'm feeling much better now. Because wow. The last four especially read like really bad acid trips.

@wretched My doc had me try Wellbutrin for a month.

Within a week it caused a migraine so brutal I could not get out of bed to even pee without my husband half-carrying me because I was straight up blind with the blurry and the 'if I even open my eyes a sliver the pain knocks my knees out from under me'.

Seconding the fuck that drug, and adding a 'with a nail-studded baseball bat, all ass, no lube'.

@Paris is absolutely right here. See your doc.

I spent years 'oh, it's just an anxious stomach'-ing a problem that came within 4 hours of putting me in the ground -- and I still thought I was probably being ridiculous and melodramatic when I asked to go to the ER for it.

I was not being ridiculous and I should have gone before that. Long before that -- the only ridiculous thing going on was me telling myself I was being ridiculous.

Not a joke.

We may not know each other, @AeriaNyx, but I know enough to know I definitely don't want to see anything bad happen to you. Please see the doc. It is important. If it is impacting your life, it is important.

@coin I did math at him until he relented.

The math that baffled and eluded him when I tried to describe it was abundantly clear inside 5 minutes.

It was that glaringly obvious. The 'more expensive option' will save us, default, a minimum of $1k/year, on prescriptions alone.

Even if we dedicate that $1k/year to a dental-only addition, we're ahead of where we would have been otherwise.

@tinuviel I am terrified to contemplate what they must think 'orienteering' means, then.

@mietze said in Learning how to apply appropriate boundaries:

There are some people whose interpersonal skills are that bad, though, RL and in game and it can be a pretty bad experience to deal with them until they learn to negotiate/fight more...fairly? Constructively?

This. And really, some folks are not even interested in behaving fairly or constructively because their only goal is 'get what I want'. This is especially true if they know that being an underhanded scumbag will accomplish that end, or be more likely to succeed.

In part, it's because they are think of it as a fight or a contest instead of a conversation. Any time someone makes the mental transition from 'conversation/communication' to 'fight/contest', the whole frame of reference changes dramatically.

I can have a difficult conversation involving extreme differences of opinion with someone without it being a fight, even if the subject matter isn't necessarily comfortable by default. I can fight with someone about it, too -- but the dynamic is completely different when and if I do. The outcome is likely to be vastly different as well. (Spoiler alert: it's almost certainly going to be worse.)

@arkandel I think it's a lot simpler than that. It's not about the 'a different person'. It's 'would do whatever I want'.

Yeah, that is a different person than the person who would be willing to say no, so I see what you're getting at there, but it's not so much about changing the person on a fundamental level, but about getting that person to do what they want with zero regard to what that person wants.

@arkandel I'm getting that read on a very small number of posts, oddly enough.

For the most part, it looks like a lot of 'I like you just fine, but I don't want to <thing> with you.'

Only a few seem to be a matter of 'I don't have any issue with <thing> when anybody but you does it.' This happens, certainly; I've been the target of it and I know I've done the same, though I got considerably better at my avoidance game over time to prevent friction in either case. (It now takes real sustained effort to break through the avoidance wall, but some people still do.)

This one isn't a hard answer in the vast majority of RP circumstances. It just isn't. Unless circumstances require it, stay out of each other's faces. You hate them? Don't join scenes they're in unless you need to be there.

Especially do not join scenes they are in to shit all over whatever they are doing; this is exceptionally poor behavior and people absolutely do it. Don't nitpick their poses with others as though they aren't even there. Don't initiate regular public discussions in shared spaces about how stupid they are (again, often like they aren't even there). It's really not hard to be better than these behaviors.

If somebody can't avoid regularly behaving this way, they're the crap actor even if Joe/Jane Whoever is 'omg so annoying' to them (or even them and others). If Joe/Jane Whoever keeps showing up in your scenes and behaving this way, say something -- to them, or to staff. Ask them to stay away from you unless it's somehow necessary, or ask staff to intervene if you can't do this.

@ganymede To some extent, I'm willing to work with that, personally. Depends on how strong the aversion is. I'll play an 'eh' scene once in a while to get to a 'ooh shiny!' scene without much worry.

I won't play a 'fuck no' scene no matter how shiny the 'trade'.

The last line in this exchange can easily be:

Me: Because I'm really not interested in that subject, know I will not enjoy it, and it would make me uncomfortable. We can do something else together, but I'm not going to play that scene with you. If you want to play that scene, I'm sure you can find someone who will enjoy it with you fully.

I don't really consider that being an asshole at all, but my sensors may be off.

@ganymede A big part of that, really, is 'I don't want to take part, but you do you and enjoy it!' -- it's the spirit behind that principle, not 'I'm not into this but since it's objectively OK you can force my participation'.