Best posts made by TheOnceler

It was a MUSH I ran for myself.

I played Will, but I WANTED to play Rachel, but I kept turning my app down because it was very disturbing. Eventually I got very abusive and had to siteban myself.

I like it whenever I see someone unironically use 'SJW' as a pejorative because then I know I can safely ignore anything else they ever have to say and not really miss out on much.

@Roz said in Storytime! Embarrassment Edition:

So I was a junior in college. Dating a really sweet guy. He came with me to visit my parents at some point. The tough thing about bringing your SO home to visit your parents is, of course, how do you do the do. I was like 20 years old, I wasn't gonna NOT do the do.

Yeah.

Yeah, this can be an issue.

So I was visiting my parents for their 50th anniversary or something and I brought along my then girlfriend to meet everyone. They'd gone off to a big shrimp boil my sister was having in her front driveway because this was a classy central Kansas town, leaving me and said girlfriend at home to finish up some stuff we were cooking to contribute to the buffet. At one point we thought, hey, the bed in the guest bedroom is awful and when are we going to have this chance again. We pop on over to the couch and start having a Good Time, in a sort of sitting up position (which I wouldn't divulge if it were not important) when I look over and see that my father's dog had come up out of the basement and is staring at us.

I say, "Just ignore the dog" and she says "what dog?" and I say "just ignore him" because I'm talking to myself because the dog is freaking me out. But still, I've got STUFF! GOING! ON! so I try my best. But goddam that little highland terrier is just glaring. Finally I'm fully wigged out enough that I'm ready to call the whole thing off when I look over and he's gone.

Thank god!

Time to get busy living, or get bus-

That's when I felt the slobbery doggie tongue just go all over my balls.

I believe my quote was "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! DOUGAL NO!!! FUCKING DOG IS EATING MY BALLS!!!"

At which point I threw her off of me and jumped up, tripped over the ball-frenzied dog and banged my head on their coffee table. My girlfriend somehow managed to twist her ankle when she fell. We both needed medical attention.

I don't remember what excuse we gave the doctors in the ER or my parents, but I do remember that not a single damn one of them believed it.

Never looked at that goddam dog the same way again.

Fuckin' ball hound.

@quinn said in Bloopers:

One of my very first conversations with the guy:

@TheOnceler pages: Usually I keep my penis in my front pocket while at work,
but since I'm in the back I'm just wearing a sweatshirt and letting it
hang from my pull-ties. It's a broad-tip so it leaks ink all over the
place and everytime I reached for it I got a big mark on my hand.

@TheOnceler pages: PENS! PENS! PENS!

It still makes me cry laughing when I read it.

It's been like twelve years.

Let me be!

When you realize that a lot of other people have a peeve with someone with whom you have a peeve and that motivates you to just cut some ties you thought you'd be stuck with forever.

Sorry to anyone who is about to get caught in the splash zone of their unwillingness to accept it, tho.

I've watched Jurassic Park 8 1/2 times. It helps me get through when 2020 starts really doing it to me.

Hosting a funny, silly event which doesn't end up being that well attended, and seriously doesn't matter in the micro, much less grand, scheme of things, but where everyone who comes in clearly has a blast.

People should go see Knives Out. It's Rian Johnson finally recovering from the stumble of making a critically acclaimed billion dollar movie.

Tossing up an impromptu event, expecting four or five people to come and having nearly two dozen come out.

Also, getting to give @Narson a compliment that leaves him all

Actions results that suggest someone really gets your character, but also don't mind torturing them a little bit.

Teachable moments with my 3 year old.

Her: You be a prince and I be a princess and we kiss!
Me: Or we could both be princes and kiss!
Her: What?
Me: Two princes can kiss. Or two princesses can kiss. Or a prince and a princess can kiss.
Her: Or... you be dragon, I be skeleton?
Me: ...yes. Also that?

@three-eyed-crow said in Stranger Than Fiction MUX:

@quinn said in Stranger Than Fiction MUX:

A couple people said their MO is to open a game for like 6 months, get bored, and open another one. I think Lantern Hill was one? I've definitely never played on one of their other games, so someone else will have to confirm.

This shit honestly baffles me. Just...run a private game if this is what you want to do. There's nothing wrong with that, you'll take zero flack for it, it's a far more appropriate way to do some types of campaigns. Why open a public game when you don't actually want to run one?

If there isn't an audience for your coolness, does it really happen?

Lev Grossman's The MUgicians.

Love him or hate him, I think we can all agree that George HW Bush was a president at one point.

You gotta work that search!

Let's say I recently suffered a traumatic brain injury and decided I needed to pronounce FYI in some way other than the letters.

Why in the hell would I ever pronounce it 'fwee' or 'fwy' instead of 'fyee' or 'fy-eye'? It's not FWI.

Anyway, someone pronouncing FYI as anything other than eff-wy-eye' is almost certainly someone's way of signaling that they've been kidnapped and we're really letting them down right now.

Here's hoping that Marvel shrugs and decides to plumb the depths of their eighty years of superheroics to see if they can't find any other conflicted teenage hero trying to use their abilities for good while balancing that with an actual life and family obligations while reflecting a diversity of background and experience. And if they could already be a really popular character that'd be cool, too.

But where would we find such a character? Such a beautiful unicorn?

Thanks for helping us look, Kamala! I'm sure we'll find him!

@Ghost said in Good or New Movies Review:

1992-2001

The worst person you knew on every WoD MUSH*.

2001-2003

Played Everquest. You're welcome.

2003-Today

Project Infinity - Iori Yagami, Mad Stan
Some cross-universe Marvel New York traits-based game a bunch of PI people played on but whose name I don't recall - Martin
Tenebrae - Rokvald, Iggy, Plague (Staff)
Crucible City - Operating Thetan (never approved), Bum Rush
Devilshire - Cedric, Saint, Tim, Natt, Ringo, Bob, Thousand Truths (Staff)
Star Wars: Sagas - Taye (the second one, who dumped all his girlfriends and made that cheddar for Black Sun until the game committed suicide-by-finale.)
The Reach - Silas (I think?)
String Theory - Saul, Sam
GleeMUSH - Will, Blaine
STF - Tommy, Etta
Gray Harbor - Andy
Arx - Ariella (the cool one with the finest armor on the game and a sword Felix declared the best sword he's ever made and the boat crew that were a great joke only one person ever got who I quit because someone got obsessed with the character and got angry with me that I wouldn't play her as more bicurious) Brigida (the one who talked about your grandparents fucking and who I quit because, no juicy details, I felt like I got screwed by something and couldn't see how the character's story could continue) Niklas (the second, third and current one) Gilroy (duh) and Hamish

*A list to follow? OMG!

When the frustration of feeling kinda boned blossoms into an elated schadenfreude as the people you feel did the boning are repeatedly slapped in the face by the results of their bonage.